Post by willc453 on Dec 9, 2022 21:58:20 GMT -6
One day God visits St. Peter at the pearly gates and tells him heaven is too crowded and to not let so many people in and gives St Peter a quota for each day. Later that day 3 men approach looking for entrance into heaven. Peter turns to the men and tells them that only 1 of them is able to enter into heaven. To decide which one gets in he asks them how they died. He tells them that the man with the best death story will get into heaven.
The first man steps up and tells his story. "I'm something of a fitness buff so every morning I wake up and jog on my treadmill in my apartment. Today as I was jogging some of my sweat dripped down and caused me to slip and fall out the window on my apartment. As I was falling I reached out and grabbed the balcony rail for the apartment below mine. As I was hanging there someone started hitting my hands and was trying to make me let go. After being forced to let go I fall the rest of the way and luckily I hit a pretty big bush which broke my fall and I was a okay. As I lay there catching my breath from my near death experience I look up only to see a refrigerator come smashing down on top of me and next thing I know I'm here in front of you."
As the man finishes his story St Peter nods his head saying that he had a pretty good story. He then turns to the second man to share his story.
The second man takes a deep breath and then starts. "For a while now I've known, or suspected at least, that my wife was cheating on me. So today I decided to catch her in the act. In order to not let her suspect anything I kept everything normal. I woke up got ready for the day and left for work. I waited for a bit then rushed back home. When I got inside I found my wife wrapped up in a bedsheet and looking disheveled. As soon as I saw her I knew I was right so I started searching for the man she was sleeping with as he had no time to escape. As I'm searching I see a pair of hands gripping the balcony rail. At that point I see red and rush out to the balcony and start hitting the hands. After a few hits the hands lose grip and let go. I went to the edge to see what happened and to my surprise I see the man completely fine. So I run back inside and somehow push my fridge over the balcony and smash the man but due to the exertion and anger I have heart attack and die."
At this point St Peter looks between the two men with astonishment at how the two men died. He turns to the third man and tells him that he better have a really good story as it will be hard to beat either of the first two stories.
The third man steps up and says, "So I'm in a refrigerator..."
The first man steps up and tells his story. "I'm something of a fitness buff so every morning I wake up and jog on my treadmill in my apartment. Today as I was jogging some of my sweat dripped down and caused me to slip and fall out the window on my apartment. As I was falling I reached out and grabbed the balcony rail for the apartment below mine. As I was hanging there someone started hitting my hands and was trying to make me let go. After being forced to let go I fall the rest of the way and luckily I hit a pretty big bush which broke my fall and I was a okay. As I lay there catching my breath from my near death experience I look up only to see a refrigerator come smashing down on top of me and next thing I know I'm here in front of you."
As the man finishes his story St Peter nods his head saying that he had a pretty good story. He then turns to the second man to share his story.
The second man takes a deep breath and then starts. "For a while now I've known, or suspected at least, that my wife was cheating on me. So today I decided to catch her in the act. In order to not let her suspect anything I kept everything normal. I woke up got ready for the day and left for work. I waited for a bit then rushed back home. When I got inside I found my wife wrapped up in a bedsheet and looking disheveled. As soon as I saw her I knew I was right so I started searching for the man she was sleeping with as he had no time to escape. As I'm searching I see a pair of hands gripping the balcony rail. At that point I see red and rush out to the balcony and start hitting the hands. After a few hits the hands lose grip and let go. I went to the edge to see what happened and to my surprise I see the man completely fine. So I run back inside and somehow push my fridge over the balcony and smash the man but due to the exertion and anger I have heart attack and die."
At this point St Peter looks between the two men with astonishment at how the two men died. He turns to the third man and tells him that he better have a really good story as it will be hard to beat either of the first two stories.
The third man steps up and says, "So I'm in a refrigerator..."