Tight Wad Apocalypse

[diybuilder]

“I hate you Jimmy Wray. You are a savage animal killing beast. The new world order will destroy criminals like you!” And with that the last of my romantic attempts walk out the door. I would call her a cow but cows have never done me any hurt unlike the human females I have known.



I am a simple factory worker who likes to camp and be outdoors. Since the shop is shutting down for a major upgrade and change over I have a couple of months off with pay. It was this that got me in hot water, I asked her if she liked to camping and canoeing. Not a word about hunting or fishing. Well it’s over and I can finish loading up the truck to leave.



My path takes up M-66 to 61 winding up at my destination in Temple Michigan. I plan on boondocking in the Au Sable State Forest. It is a much better choice than tent camping at the local RV parking lot. Back in the 80’s the state government closed a lot of state forest campgrounds and state parks with no real explanation. They made whinny promises to open new ones but that never happened.



There are enough fire roads to get real lost on but I know where I am going. I get back into a nice site and begin setting up my home made canvas tent. The design is an A frame so it was easy to sew and easy to set up. Since it is May in northern Michigan I set my barrel stove inside just in case it gets cold. I made my own door and draft since the commercial ones are not to my liking.



Time to get some firewood for the next few days. Getting wood is not hard, I can pretty much drive right up to it. It does not take me long to cut more than enough wood for a few days. Next up is to actually get a camp fire started. Again not a hard chore even using a flint and steal. Once the fire dies down to cooking heat I set a pot of soup on to simmer while I bake some bread in the oven that sits next to the campfire.



I try some fishing after lunch and catch enough Blue Gills for supper. Not bad for a halfhearted attempt to catch fish. I turn on the radio while I am cleaning the fish and the President is on talking about some imaginary problem. I place my filets into a salt water brine and turn off the radio.



About a week into my trip the President is on the radio. “This is just an unseasonal flu. This is not a biological attack. This is an attempt to discredit me and panic the American people.” I turn it off and put a plan into action.

[kiwibutterfly]

Can't wait to see where this is going...Thanks

[gipsy]

Plan is a good thing

[feralferret]

Looks like a very well timed trip to the boonies, diybuilder. Thanks. I am anxious to see where this story leads.

[diybuilder]

Okay, I am not unprepared but my stuff is all back in the city of Lansing. I break camp and head for home in order to get my stuff. I hope I can get it all in my truck and trailer. I have enough food to last me at least a year and a half. I will also grab my canner and Tattler brand reusable lids as well as many empty jars as will fit.

I get a brain storm, why not rent a box truck! Man that is so simple a solution that it’s scary. I stop in Clare and rent the truck from a local company and head for my house. On the way I listen to the radio and so far the sickness is moving into the mid west. It has a 80% mortality rate.

When I get home I start loading up the truck. No moss grows under my feet. It takes the rest of the day to load the truck but I manage to get everything I want to take. Since I have a CPL my .357 in on my belt. My neighbor Joe stops in. “You getting out of town over this here plague?” “I sure am. It is told that there is a 90% death rate.”

“Probably the right choice I am leaving tonight for my boy’s place.” I wait until morning and take 127 to 61 and wind up back at the same camp site I had earlier. I set up my tent unload and go back to get my truck and trailer. Seeing very few vehicles on the road makes me a little nervous. This is a main drag and should have a lot of traffic.

The law says I can only stay 14 days without moving at least 1 mile away. I doubt that I will see a DNR officer anytime soon. I dig in for a long stay while I address this problem. It is still a little cool at night but I have enough wood for the night anyhow. My motto is do it on the cheap. See, I grew up poor the child of a single mother and we had very little. This is why I never got a higher education but I learned to work hard and save my money. When I got a job at the shop I kept on being “cheap.” I learned to garden and can and dry food for long term storage.

Anything that is not temperature sensitive is stored in my covered trailer. Everything else is in the tent to keep it from freezing. My firearms are next to me. I don’t expect anyone that knows me because I have been very closed lip about what I do and where I go. this has saved me much grief because after Covid-19 camping gained in popularity since people couldn’t go on their fancy cruises and go overseas. I never understood the attraction to those things but every cat to his/her own rat I guess.

My skills were learned slowly over time. My grandparents taught me most of the skills I have now. Canning, sewing with a treadle machine, hunting and fishing. My mom taught me to value work and a job well done. I never knew my dad he ran off after mom got pregnant with me. Nothing of value was lost he died a wanted man. It seems the police don’t like being shot at.

[solo]

Love it! Hard work and frugal living. And the skills learned along the way!

[imahic]

Thanks for the story. Has the appearance of being a good one. Looking forward to more.

[feralferret]

Thanks! Looking forward to more.

[diybuilder]

Okay, I see a lot of ways to improve my camp for long term living.
I need a proper outhouse.
My cook area can do with a rock stove.
Put a cover over my cook area.
Build a river box to store perishable foods
Digging a small root cellar.
I should turn up an area for a truck garden.
A raised platform for the tent would be nice.
I have a solar generator and solar panels but a second one would be nice. (good luck with that.)
Build some outdoor furniture from materials in the woods. I know Bushcraft is frowned upon by the universally one crowd and no I do not care one bit.
Build a couple of shelters for storing stuff.
Enough this will keep me busy for a while.
I start with the outhouse. This is not really hard just takes a bit of time. I cut the logs to length in the field and cart them back to camp using the cart I way over built.once at camp assembly begins. I use a brace and bit to make holes for the pegs that will hold the walls together. I build a box to go over the hole attach a seat and done. It takes me five days but is rock solid. I hope.
My next project is the rock stove. This is a little trickier because the rocks have to fit right and be totally dry before I can fire it up. I use clay from the river bank as my mortar and spend a couple of days getting it finished. When it’s done i have a much nicer cook are.

I need to go and catch some fish for supper. Despite what people think fishing is not a sure bet on keeping you fed. So I make a day of it and do manage to catch a couple small mouth bass. Not my favorite fish for eating but good enough. I clean the fish right on the river bank and head back to camp.

On the way I hear something that i don’t want to hear it sounds like a vehicle but there is no motor. Strange and who would be coming back here anyways. Once back at camp I put the fish in a salt brine and stick them into the cooler until super time. I think they will become a fish stew.




My next project is the river box. The idea is to have the box keep things cold. Once I wrap my head around the idea I use a 20 gallon steel drum with a lid and ring and dig down deep into the riverbed and insert the barrel. I leave enough sticking up to put stuff inside without the barrel filling with water. A couple of 1 inch holes lets water in. this works like a spring house, I hope so anyway.

When I return to camp it is time to start the fish stew. The old recipe starts with first catch the fish. I have the fish my next step is to toke up the fire from this morning. Next I add a jar of carrots, a jar of potatoes and some onion. Once the fire is red hot coals I set my enamel pot on the grate and let it cook slowly until dinner time.

While the stew is cooking I mix up some corn bread and put it in the campfire oven. I am would not be surprised if someone found my camp just by the smell of the food. A meal that is fit for a King. I never understood why Kings should eat any better or different than us normal folks in this day and age.

After dinner I set some traps for small game down by the river. My plan is to supplement my stored food with fish and wild game. I also realize those things are not always available. I wonder if I can get some chickens or something? Most likely not so I will do the best I can with what I have.

Walking the river is not the most practical thing ever. I head back to camp and set my canoe into the water. I won’t have to paddle up stream because I have an electric outboard on it. I chose an electric outboard because it can be recharged off a solar panel. This seemed like a good idea at the time and given the circumstances it is an even better idea now, I mean where will I get gas and oil when everything stops?

After dinner I decide to make a trip into town to see what if anything is available. I know that I will want more steel trash cans and some hardware to keep them sealed up. I would also like some more powdered whole milk. For this run I should go into Roscommon. I should also pick up some clothing as well. While I am making this list I hear the sound of a large engine.

[ydderf2]

Thanks

[diybuilder]

Following the sound I come to a group cutting firewood. Since they are cutting trees marked to be harvested it does not bother me in the slightest. I know the value of thinning and maintaining the forest.

I head back to camp thinking about my next project, tilling up a truck garden. I mark put an area that has plenty of light and good soil. To start I use a shovel and remove all of the grass and weeds from the area. The next step is to turn over the soil and begin removing stones and rocks. I stack the rocks up neatly because they may be needed in the future and it never hurts to think ahead. A week later and I have a garden plot. All of my fish and game remains will be buried here to enhance the soil.

The next morning I walk the trap line and collect a couple of woodchucks. Despite what people say they are good eating when properly prepared. Step one is skin them and brine them in a salt and pickling spice solution overnight. I place them in the river barrel so they will stay cool until the morning.

I make my way back to camp and get a surprise. I have visitors. I don’t think I know anyone who drives a hybrid so I check my shotgun and .22 revolver to be sure they are ready for action. I hear someone call out “Hello the camp!” Good manners require that I respond to this “Identify yourselves and come out and be recognized.”

A woman steps out followed by a little girl no more than 6 years old. “Hi, Jimmy I hope you are not mad we tracked you down.” I know her it’s the HR girl from the shop, Penny Wainwright and her little girl. I know she is divorced from her cheating slob of a wife beating husband. I welcome them to the camp since she was always nice to me.

“Penny who is your little friend?” She giggles “That’s my daughter Wendy.” the girl peeks around from the back of her mother not sure what to make of me. It’s time to start lunch so I plan on them staying and eating with me. Plus I want some information “Penny how did you find me?” “Well I started with the fact that you canoe the Muskegon River on the weekends and you left your map book open on the table in the break room. I saw your map highlighted to this area and dropped by to check it out.”

Well, I really screwed that up so much for OPSEC. Penny has never done me any harm so I will take a chance. “Penny why don’t you two stay here with me?” she gives ma a look that I can’t figure out. “Okay, we are better off with you than out there.”

I made some potato soup and cornbread from my LTS supplies for lunch. While we are eating a feral hog shows himself and demands we vacate the premises. I am inclined to disagree with a 12 gauge slug.

[gipsy]

Pork chops for supper tonight. Yumm

[accountant]

Thanks diybuilder.

The story's comin' along great.

Good work!

A.

[diybuilder]

One note on hunting feral hogs with a slug is use a big enough slug of the right kind. In my case it is a slug designed for hogs. I put my sights right on the beast and squeeze the trigger. The slug hits the hog and he walks a few feet before he hits the ground.



Penny surprises me. “You shot it so I will cut it up and even make some bacon if you can build a smoker.” An interesting proposition. “I can build something since I have a enough rocks around here.” See, this is why you should never toss away anything that can be remotely useful like rocks.



We get the hog lifted up and she begins the skinning process. I start work on a smoker, once again I use clay for mortar and way over build. Better too much than not enough. Once Mr. Piggy is cut up we begin the preservation process. What is not turned into bacon is turned into ground meat and canned. This takes up a lot of jars so I add those to the list.



While the bacon is curing I start my next project by deciding that instead of one big cellar I will make several small cellars spread around the area. The idea is to use steel trash cans with lids and bury them leaving only the lids exposed. Next cover the lids so they do not gather heat. I add steel trash cans to my list of things to get in town.

That night I make a casserole using the wood chucks that I trapped. It is a simple dish potatoes and cream of mushroom soup from a can with canned cheese added. It bakes for 45 minutes and it is done.



The thing that surprises me is the girls eat it with gusto. I have to ask “Penny have you eaten a lot of wild game?” “My dad was a hunter and that is what we had the most of until he died when I was 17.” Wendy asks for more so I guess she is like her mother. Good thing because it will be wild game for meat for a while.



Once the bacon is done smoking and curing we head into town. My first stop is the farm store for metal trash cans and anything else I can find. The clerk tells me “It’s cash only because the phones are down.” This is not a problem since I have never trusted banks and kept my money at home.



We add a good deal of stuff to our carts and check out. It hardly dents what I have on me. Our next stop is the fabric store since Penny says she sew with my treadle machine. Yes, I packed it along no sense leaving it behind to stolen or destroyed. Little did we know things were about to get a lot worse.

[imahic]

Thanks for the update.

[feralferret]

Looks like things are beginning to move faster. Naturally things speed up as they go downhill.

Another fine chapter. Thanks.

[freshwaterpearl]

You got me. Please keep writing.

I would like to suggest that you separate the dialogue.

Also, I'd like to see you stop using traps because there is now a six year old with you.

[papaof2]

I doubt that they'll give up cooking because the pots are hot enough to burn a small hand. I think hot pots and game traps are both a matter of education. Show her what the trap can do to a limb about the size of her arm and demonstrate that several times. Most kids can learn that some things are not to be touched.

Admittedly, our then 5-year-old didn't quite believe that the eye on the electric cookstove was still hot when it wasn't red - but she had been cautioned enough that she just did a quick poke with one finger - this is the kid who later got a Master's degree in engineering ;-)

[paulk]

Love the story so far. Please keep writing.