Post by papaof2 on Jun 23, 2019 12:19:40 GMT -6
The President is trying to get a new Federal enforcement agency operational. It's HISP, Handlers for Incredibly Stupid People.
They will have authority everywhere, from animals/kids in a hot car to the idiot tailgating you at 60MPH during a thunderstorm. Other agencies (local, state, federal) are NOT exempt, so the judge who tries to turn loose a four-time loser on probation AND that loser will both serve the maximum sentence for the loser's offense. If you request it, they will include local small businesses so when the charge is $4.25, you offer the cashier $5.25 and they can't process giving you back a dollar bill instead of a handful of change, not only can the idiot employee be charged so can the manager and the store's training manager.
In the case of life-threatening events, the HISP agents will be armed and can use damaging but not deadly force as needed. Using a small caliber weapon to take out both the perp's knees so he/she doesn't have a leg to stand on will eliminate most excuses and immediately get the perp's attention.
Requirements to be a field agent for HISP include the ability to recognize stupid in one sentence or less (spoken, written [including text messages] or signed), fast and very accurate response with a handgun (one bullet per knee, both knees in 1.7 seconds or less) and enough patience to determine if the problem is just with the perp (report form entry is ISPID for Incredibly Stupid Person's ID) or if manager(s), trainer(s) and/or corporate policy maker(s) should also be included (back of the primary form).
Resumes should be sent to:
wheresthatidiot@hisp.gov
or you can apply online at
hisp.gov/iwannashootthem.html
They will have authority everywhere, from animals/kids in a hot car to the idiot tailgating you at 60MPH during a thunderstorm. Other agencies (local, state, federal) are NOT exempt, so the judge who tries to turn loose a four-time loser on probation AND that loser will both serve the maximum sentence for the loser's offense. If you request it, they will include local small businesses so when the charge is $4.25, you offer the cashier $5.25 and they can't process giving you back a dollar bill instead of a handful of change, not only can the idiot employee be charged so can the manager and the store's training manager.
In the case of life-threatening events, the HISP agents will be armed and can use damaging but not deadly force as needed. Using a small caliber weapon to take out both the perp's knees so he/she doesn't have a leg to stand on will eliminate most excuses and immediately get the perp's attention.
Requirements to be a field agent for HISP include the ability to recognize stupid in one sentence or less (spoken, written [including text messages] or signed), fast and very accurate response with a handgun (one bullet per knee, both knees in 1.7 seconds or less) and enough patience to determine if the problem is just with the perp (report form entry is ISPID for Incredibly Stupid Person's ID) or if manager(s), trainer(s) and/or corporate policy maker(s) should also be included (back of the primary form).
Resumes should be sent to:
wheresthatidiot@hisp.gov
or you can apply online at
hisp.gov/iwannashootthem.html
