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Post by kaijafon on Jul 21, 2016 18:37:58 GMT -6
naughty naughty Ben as usual! lol!
thanks!
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Post by willc453 on Sept 17, 2016 17:19:28 GMT -6
The Affected: Tale of Two Brothers Chapter 35 Now curiosity is an itch that some times can't be satisfied....well, unless you're me of course. In more than one place, I found large buildings, but each time I went to check them out, the ladies with me said I didn't really want to go there as that was the city of the dead. Figured it had to be their version of a cemetery. But eventually.....and got one hell of a shock. This world had become so advanced not only in robotics, but also hibernation chambers. People got involved with video games just like here, then went to using 3D glasses, then helmets, then complete suits. But with development of the suit, one could feel/see everything in the game. At first, combat, car driving, flying space ships, etc. were quite popular.....until A.I. robots were designed for more than general purpose work, but sexual pleasure. The video game people were NOT happy in this development because their sales dropped like a rock in the deepest part of the ocean. They were the ones to develop the first suits and from there, this civilization started going down hill. Why? Some lard a$$ would waddle with girl/boyfriend in hand, but they would see themselves in mirrors and subconsciously realize they were living a fantasy. But in a suit, when they looked in a mirror, it reflected the image of what they wanted to see. Suddenly everyone became movie stars, lottery winners, etc. The problem was, eventually they had to leave the suit to take care of body functions such as eating, etc. The Chamber came out of this development. Lay down in The Chamber, get put to sleep and various probes, etc. was connected to your body. And you remained in the land of the lotus eaters....forever. With EVERY desire/want/need ALWAYS satisfied (according to them), the population quickly dropped off simply because of no births happening. But there are those who refuse to be like others and ended up leaving the cities because of the lure of the lotus. Instead, they became farmers, artisans, etc. Of a planet formerly having a population of almost 15 billion, there were less than 2,000 people living on the entire planet! Of those in The Chambers, maybe a million or two and they were too far gone physically/mentally. After all, to them, they never aged and had one adventure after another. Some well meaning people tried taking them out of The Chamber, but basically the majority of them went insane because by then, they couldn't tell the difference between reality and fantasy. I peeked at a couple of them and their bodies looked old, dried mummies whose chests would rise up and down from time to time. Being curious, I was able to view what these people were doing and while it looked exciting, actually it was boring as hell. Like one guy said, those who can, do. Those who can't, read Playboy. I have NOT been a reader of Playboy unless that page if held vertically if you know what I mean. Why didn't I realize these androids were androids the first time I had sex with them? Because they actually gave off body heat and besides, figured they had to be human even if they had 3 belly buttons.....not that I realized this until AFTER being with the 3 farmer daughters. Well, 3 things happened after visiting one of The Chamber buildings. First went looking for real people and that really wasn't too much trouble. These people would usually only be in groups of 100 or less. If there was more than that, some would volunteer to start another colony or join others who wanted to start another colony or join a colony that had a lot of deaths due to sickness or natural disaster. Believe me, the majority of them looked like regular people and while they had androids doing some of the work, these were nothing more than skeletons with no “flesh” covering their bodies. Part of the problem was people would get tired of the back breaking work needed to run a farm and hear about how things were in the city and before too long, another member was gone and he/she eventually ended up in one of The Chambers. So the entire population was slowly dwindling and becoming extinct....until we met. So I was quite welcome to the first community, that is until the lady I was with discovered/realized I only had one belly button! Fortunately, this wasn't discovered until AFTER we were done. Thing is, the living had gone too far technologically back and bit by bit, their robots had broken down or worn out simply due to time. Why not go to the cities for parts/repairs? Some had and never returned as they had been lured by the land of lotus eaters (The Chamber) or by the human looking androids. So these enclaves if you will, had made the cities taboo.....you know, filled with the undead or bogey man. Our world is filled with people call retards/cripples, etc. and shunned. Hair lip, born without eyes, fingers fused together, mentally deficient, etc.? Started having my people reach out to them all over the world and they were made an offer: I can have your physical/mental problems fixed, BUT you have to live on another world and NEVER be able to come back home. But you would have a good life on another earth like world and of course, you'd have to be a productive citizen. The Tree People of the future were the ones that made this happen with their knowledge of human biology. All these people wanted was to have a normal life and once they understood this was possible, I ended up taking a little over 5 million people to this alternate earth. Now these people were taken from different time periods from our/this world and they all followed the one rule I layed down: treat others as you want to be treated. As to the people on that other world/ dimension, they welcomed them with open arms. Now everyone's USING technology, but NOT letting it control their lives. You want to talk with someone, you call or visit them, not sending them texts, using Facebook, etc. People KNOW/help their neighbors and the population has increased every year. As to the female droids clothing/dress....always thought I'd be a lot better fashion designer that those in Paris, NYC, etc. Enclosed are examples that I thought of. Hopefully, you remember my writing about that world where women dominated everything, EPSECIALLY men. At the time of my finding this place, it was basically technologically in the early 1950's. TV was there, but still going thru growing pains. Now with women running things, they never thought of putting a time delay in their tv/radio broadcasts, because after all, they were women and they knew everything. Poor attitude on their part as they were to find out. Which is where I got to be calling a slut by a lot of women....and many of those women who cried out how indecent I was, did their damnedest to get me naked or part of my clothing off. And they didn't care (most of the time) where we were at either. So much for women standing up for the dignity of man. Now at the time, the only guys singing were doing do wop.....you know, where the boy is pining for head high school sports player, but she doesn't see him because he's so plain and a chess player, preferring the lead tuba player because....well, she put those lips and tongue of his from huffing and puffing on his tuba to some where else if you know what I mean. And of course, the tv/music business has its own version of the Hollywood couch. One of the women I met said she'd make me a star, but told her I didn't sing that well, but I wouldn't mind being rich and famous. As if I needed either, but like P.T. Barnum told me, there's a sucker born every minute. She said that's okay. Thing is, Puritan Polly which was my nickname for her because she was very formal until we were alone even for a little bit and she'd be all over me. With the help of ganja, she stayed as Pantyless Polly shortly afterwards. Didn't become an overnight sensation until I went on a national tv show....which I had to start off by banging the MC (Slick Sally was my name for her). Had 4 guys also part of my group and we were all dressed formally, i.e., suits, ties, etc. I got to thinking, gee, THIS SUCKS! Now this show was live and while there was no delay in it being broadcasted, what if they simply shut off the power to everything? The other thing was tv was only on about 12-14 hours a day, the rest of the time, it was off the air. I remember one woman who got caught/fired when she thought she was privately transmitting porn to other women at other tv stations. As to the porn, it was showing guys in various stages of being undressed, though nothing was ever really shown except a bare a$$ or chest. So we got busy making changes to the station. When I say we, I mean there was about a dozen or so of me cutting holes in the stage floor, working on wiring, etc. Last thing you want to happen is something going boink in your space ship while in deep space and unable to repair it. Yeah, I could jump me, the Lara's and the cargo to safety, but space ships cost money. And while I may be an evil, etc. kind of guy, I like to think of myself as a THRIFTY, evil, etc. kind of guy. And it ain't easy being thrifty with so many Lara's around....talk about that later. Now Puritan Polly had set me up with 4 background singers/crooners...pu$$y's. When I suggested to them what I wanted to do, they were “aghast”.....yeah, they all used that word and others like it. And of course, not only were they not “those kind of men”, they had to think of their careers and of course, their girlfriends/wives simply wouldn't approve of such dastardly/unmanly (?!) behavior/lyrics. I said okay and they all were quite happy....suckers. Now, there are a lot of geeks on our world who'd like to get laid, but you ladies don't see them in any kind of sexual way. Good for a shoulder to cry on, replace a flat tire, etc., but otherwise, forget it. You want to know how to give a geek confidence? Get him laid, but only once with a beautiful woman of their choice for 24 hours, then tell him what he needs to do in order to get laid as many times as he wants. Then show him photos of other women that would be available afterwards. Yeah, I know, I know.....I kind of sound like some Satanic Muslim offering these 4 guys an eternity in Paradise if they helped me out. NO hesitation from these guys in wanting to help me out. I was busy dealing with TWO sets of crooners, 1 here on Earth, the other on that other planet/dimension. There was a old tv show called The Chimpanzees (Monkee's?) or something like it back in the 60's. Only 1 could play an instrument, the others faked it. In this case, the music was going to be broadcasted on the stage and over the air, so I didn't have to deal with that. And then it was showtime. Slipped a little something into my womans world crooners sarsaparilla (good/decent boys/men didn't drink) and left them in a locked dressing room. Then jumped my 4 guys into that room and we snuck out to be under the stage where I had things set up. Well, the MC got a major surprise right after she introduces us, thinking we'd be walking onto the stage. Not quite. What made me really happy was when she called out to us like she was thinking we were on the side of stage but out of sight....and had stage fright. Yeah, right. Well, when she called out to us, saying come on out boys (?!), don't be shy with A LOT of cat calls from the women in the audience. THAT became my cue. And boy, did things run amuck that night. It began with smoke bombs going off on the stage with us then being catapulted into the air by several feet to land on the stage. Then laser/disco lights going off on stage and over the audience area. Remember Donna Spring (Summer?) and her song Hot Stuff? Hey, I only changed A FEW words in the song, with me singing about a man wanting some hot stuff and a man loving woman all night long at his place. “Good men” didn't act like this....at least publicly. And then there was the way we were dressed. Gone was the formal clothes (suit, etc.). Anyone remember The City (Village?) People? You know, those guys that dressed up in cop, Indian, construction, etc. costumes? Got them to dress up like that with a lot of skin showing AND dancing/moving suggestively. The thing is, when women got horney here, they put out some kind of smell and poor guy had no resistance. What they (women) never figured out what would happen when several hundred of them started smelling with a bunch of men around? Once again, showing my support for law enforcement such as people like Selman, I wore a kind of/sort of policeman outfit. Black, open vest (with badge of course), TIGHT black gym shorts and low black boots. (Women thought a guy showing a lot of leg/skin was also sexy) Of course, I had to have a police belt around my waist.....which was holding close to 3 dozen handcuffs and 1 baton. So the music was playing with the guys singing the lyrics a little bit lower than I was, while I was REALLY putting out the lyrics as loud as I could. And when I moved my hips while dancing/singing, I made Elvis look like a 3 day old corpse. Things started getting interesting when I started tossing the handcuffs to various women in the audience. God Almighty, would you believe some of the women were actually fighting each other to get a handcuff? As to my baton, it was pointed at the women in the audience, while also being pulled back. You know, in keeping in beat with the music. At least that's my story and I'm stickin' to it. The women in the audience started howling and clapping their hands in rhythm of the music. Right after that was done, went to Bad Boys aka Bad Girls. Of course, the MC tried to stop this, but made herself a target from the women in the audience who wanted us to continue. Then I remotely started the projector which showed a woman dancing suggestively to a man?! This was when I started singing Back in The Saddle by Airosmyth. They tried shutting off the power, which of course, didn't work. The camera women were told to turn the cameras away from the stage until the few men that worked as secretaries came up behind them and started putting their hands/bodies on them. Thought for a bit, we'd be beaten to death by the amount of panties, hotel keys, etc. that were thrown at us on our first song. Then it started getting really wild and crazy. With the women going crazy with their smell, men grabbed women who grabbed men, with clothes coming off! As to the ladies on the screen, they were Lara's dancing to me. I mean, it would cost me something to have some other women to do this, so I was able to save a few bucks in making that video. Running an evil empire is NOT cheap. Hey, I was just trying to act like I was in a saddle, rocking my hips back and forth.....of course, there were A LOT of photos of scantily clothed women (again, different Lara's) being shown on the screen behind us. Remember, MEN were considered sluts for dressing/acting provocatively, women NEVER acted like this. Knew it was time to leave when at least a hundred women started climbing onto the stage and made a rush for us. Hit another set of smoke bombs and jumped the 4 guys to safety. But I made sure they had 2 women each before I, of course, returned to satisfy those women who didn't have a man. And believe me, there was more than one fight going on with 2 to 5 women fighting/trying to have sex with one guy! The world govt. (that's how they did it there) tried banning/destroying all video copies of what happened and of course, they never did. I, of course, was condemned not for being just a slut, but The Slut. The men started demanding their rights as human beings and not as sexual objects and soon, the silk (aka glass as it's known here) ceiling started getting runs in it according to the business world. Since women dominated this world so much, figured it was only fair that my guys get some ganja of their own for awhile. As to my guys, they ended up marrying NINE women each... you know, 1 for each day of their week on that world. The newspapers/tv stations all ran photos of me and the other “sluts” for awhile, but all that did was increase the mens drive to become equal. Made a few bucks for a little bit by selling unedited film copies of our show, but then a bunch of skanky, money grubbing women made copies of my work and sold it cheaper! And I made sure I got a large collection of newspapers/scandal sheets about our effort. I even had a small statue made...you know, so it looked like some sports trophy. It was only 18” tall and it was of Puritan Polly. Thing is, I had a small penis that rotated around it (anti-gravity controlled) and when it was near the statues mouth, the mouth opened and when it was near her crotch her legs would open. Then I thought, why not make a bigger one, say 18 feet tall and put it in some park on that world? Or better yet, a couple of hundred of 'em scattered all over their world? Had a lot of fun with that one and drove the govt. people there crazy because as soon as they tried moving or drilling into it, the circuits would fry into nothingness, with the penis falling to the ground. From what I saw, more than one woman kept the penis instead of turning it in as required by law. Then things REALLY changed when I and Lara's introduced dirty dancing at more than one ballroom/dance hall on that world's 3 continents. Of course, disco/rock and roll took off and eventually so did dirty dancing. And from what I read later on a lot of babies were born 10 months later. Of course, I was “captured” more than once by the local and federal cops on that world.....it just depended on what they looked like. And more than one had to “frisk” me. which I thought was only fair that I do the same with them. As to those priestesses who publicly denounced me on tv.....they couldn't wait to hear my confession. And of course, while holding me, telling me what an sluttish man I was and all I needed was a good womans loving. And guess who that woman was going to be? How bad was it there for the men? Men were expected to stay home, take care of the kids, have no career/ interest/hobbies outside of the home, etc. Why? Because THEY got some poor woman pregnant and when divorce was talked about, why it was the man who took some poor woman for everything she had. As for me, I went from being The Slut to THE SLUT and wanted for crimes against womanhood. Try to top that, you super good doers. Oh yeah... one line I loved saying was when a lady cop would ask if I had anything on me that would poke her and I told her, my d*ck. I spent some time as a mountain man, not that I was using all genuine period items. My 2 hatchets for example were NOTHING that could be produced at the time...think of Art's sword, okay? And I drove more than one Native American tribal warrior crazy. Was out just minding my own business, doing some fishing in what later became Texas, when a bunch of Kiowa's come whooping it up on their horses and I knew they weren't whoops of greetings & peaceful salutations either. Now the way it SHOULD of worked is if I didn't show any fear, they'd respect that as they came charging up. Not that they usually had any intentions of knocking me over....just wanted to see if I'd flinch or jump out of the way and if that happened.... But there's always some d*ckhead who doesn't get the memo and shot at me with a bow! Well now girls, when that happens, ALL bets are off. I jumped to be behind the last horse riding warrior and his wtf look quickly disappeared as I yanked him off his former horse (finders keepers you know) and I quickly turned the horse away from this rowdy crowd. I got maybe a couple of hundred feet from them, stood up on the horse, dropped my pants and shook my a$$ at them with a few choice Cherokee and Arapaho words while also shaking my head so my shoulder length hair was readily visible. And in case you're wondering, I worked as a stunt man in the movies, which is another story. Well, doing this is a big insult and the wtf, where did that white man go looks quickly disappeared and of course, like the song said, they were soon in hot pursuit. And of course, they REALLY wanted my hair hanging from their lodge. Not that it did them any good because once we'd hit a dip or arroyo, I'd jump me and the horse even further ahead. Did this a few times and them boys were started flagging, meaning getting tired and of course, their horses too. That is until I gave them another incentive by standing on the horse, dropping pants, and peeing over my horses a$$ while facing them. Well, they thought they had me when we came to a small canyon that was maybe a hundred or two feet wide and about 80' deep...pretty much straight down and while there was water below, it was really a wide creek and not a deep river. They were surprised when I started towards them, then surprised again when I turned around we giddiupped for the canyon. When we got within 10 feet of the lip, I rammed my heels into the side of the horse who didn't expect this and of course, jumped with me simply jumping us to the other side. Of course, they were thinking it must be only a few feet wide there and when they got near the canyons edge, the horses basically said f*ck you and stopped so hard they were sliding on their a$$es! Those guys DIDN'T expect this and went flying over their horses head with some of 'em, well.... Man, I was busy jumping in time and space for a bit in getting the 4 of them that had fallen over the edge, along with 2 horses. Scared the hell out of everyone when these 4 and the 2 horses appeared behind them, while going thru the ng, ng, ng phase. They'd had enough and just wanted to go home. Excuse me, but I'M THE INJURED PARTY and started chasing them! Of course, they couldn't ride hard enough to shake me, especially when I'd jumped ahead of them. They finally all just stood there, tuckered out from trying to get away from me and weren't in any fighting kind of mood. And of course, their horses were played out too. Asked them if they had enough and they started singing their death songs. I said, well, you guys can sing your death songs and I can kill you.....OR you can take me to your tribe and feed me. They decided to feed me and spent some time with them. As to the guy who shot at me, I didn't do anything....just let the tribal women do it. The tribe was going to turn him out of the tribe which would have been a very possible death sentence in being alone and all of that. Since he had acted without honor, he had to run a gauntlet of 42 (21 on each side) women who hit him with sticks....and they were not small ones either. Everyone just left him there bleeding and unconscious, but stopped when I walked over to him and took him into a tipi where I took care of him until he was healed. While taking care of him, told him he had honor at one time, but lost it when he shot at me like he did. But then, he regained some of it back by at least attempting in going thru the gauntlet. Talked the tribe into giving this guy a 2nd chance.....and guess whose ggg, etc. grandson is giving DW the eye? And of course, her giving it back. Went on a few buffalo hunts and give these people credit for a dangerous way to hunt with only a bow or spear. Of course, later, some had rifles that were given to them by me. No, not a bunch of 'em....just the very few that I admired. The problem with that was they started getting hooked on white mans stuff. Steel hatchets, knives, etc. Remember me working as a stunt man earlier? Most of it was westerns and learned/did a lot of trick riding at the cost of temporary broken bones until I got it right. You WILL eventually learn the tools of your trade when you've been doing it for 20+ years. Of course, from time to time I'd have one of the Horse People with me and various tribal warriors got a hell of shock with me riding backwards and facing them as we passed them. If it's good enough for Zorro, it's good enough for me. No matter how much you know, you can still always learn something new. If you refuse, as far as I'm concerned, you're dead....you're body just hasn't gotten the memo. So I hung around more than one medicine man, witch doctor, etc. More than once, one of them would ask for my help/knowledge which I freely gave....as far as it didn't expose future medical knowledge. Clean hands before working on a wound or using clean cloth, moss, even spider webs to cover a wound? Tourniquets to stop major blood loss until the wound is cared for? Anyone should be able to figure these out. Thorns from a cactus with a hole painfully/carefully cut into it became a sewing needle, but also for closing up larger wounds. Thread, again, from the cactus plant. Now to the western Native Americans, white buffalo are sacred. During some of my time with various tribes, was invited to a buffalo hunt. Try riding a horse while next to a herd of buffalo that number in the 10's of thousands. Or sneaking up on such a herd because horses hadn't arrived yet or weren't in numbers like they were later on. Yes, the herds back before whites came around actually once numbered in the millions. Several times my horse stumbled on various hunts due to a gopher hole, but with my abilities, I'd jump us out of harms way even as I went flying thru the air and the horse was rolling on the ground. I made my name with everyone when I spotted a white buffalo and jumped to be on its back. Got thrown more than once, but each time I'd simply jump to be on its back again. Stunned/awed warriors saw me get thrown more than once, then not only reappear on that buffalo's back, but actually tiring it out until it just stood there while the rest of the herd took off. Jumped us out of there and it took awhile, but got it used to a bridle, then just me guiding it with my hands and feet. Then jump back a second or two after I had originally jumped. Which is where I got my name Spirit Rider. As to the white buffalo, I took it and others to another world/dimension where I bred them until at least half of the births were not only born white, but many of them remained white and not turning brown or black as they normally do. Then took some of those off spring back to this world/earlier times.
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Post by willc453 on Sept 17, 2016 17:20:49 GMT -6
And of course, some others....
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Post by kaijafon on Sept 18, 2016 23:36:39 GMT -6
hmm.... those outfits!
lol!
Thanks so much for the MOAR!!!!!!
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Post by willc453 on Oct 9, 2016 0:45:28 GMT -6
Ben may not know much about fashion and art, but like Jerry Lee Lewis said, he KNOWS what he likes!
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Post by willc453 on Nov 30, 2016 14:01:07 GMT -6
The Affected: Tale Of Two Brothers Chapter 36 Ever wonder where the term “Hollywood star” came from? Please excuse me while I stand up and take a bow....though once again, I don't get any credit for it. Some may remember from my earlier blogs about my career in movies and I got to thinking about what would it be like to be on the other side of the camera. Oh yeah, before I forget, I was also involved in creating porn. Well, not ALL of it, just the stuff that started in the 1800's as photos. Had to laugh when I remembered how everyone made such a fuss when Hef finally started having a Playmate show everything instead of airbrushing it out or covering it with a sheet, etc. Guys want to see the full Monty. Period. So yeah, totally naked women photos were available a hell of a lot sooner than many people knew. Well, found myself working for Edison and his Edison Manufacturing Company, though I didn't last too long there. Thomas had a BIG ego problem and it was his way or the highway after I helped complete Pioneer Days in America which was about Daniel Boone, which is where I met Florence Lawrence. Got hired at the Vitagraph film company which is where I ran into her again. Poor kid....she was making $20 a week AND having to work as a costume seamstress for extra money. This is when she went to work at Biograph Studios and for D.W. Griffith, who also did Birth Of A Nation. He paid her $25 a week so she didn't have to do any more seamstress work. You're probably wondering when am I going to get to the point of where she became the first Hollywood star? Now back in the day, NO actor or actress was given ANY kind of credit either in the movie or on the movie posters at this time. WTF you say? Yep, you see, the studios were (rightfully) worried that if they gave out the name of their actors/ actresses another studio would track them down and hire them at more money, with the other studio suddenly losing one or more of their biggest customers draws. Like now, back then, studios received thousands of fan letters wanting to know more about him/ her and of course, the studios weren't about to cough up any real information. Here's a movie poster from one of her movies...notice there's NO credit given. Got into it with the studio head about this, with me saying these people should get credit and if you don't do something about it, somebody will and then you'll have all your people leaving. She and Harry Solter (who was a director and later, she married) ended up getting fired when they tried finding additional work at another studio which surprisingly, squealed on them to their boss. Remember, back in the day, they weren't making that much, so simply wanted additional income. Got tired of D.W.'s bs and I ended up following them to the IMP (Independent Moving Pictures) shortly afterwards. Thing is, Carl Laemmle LISTENED to me and generated a story where she had been killed in a street car accident in NYC. Then of course, released her latest movie a few weeks later.....and where her name was on the billboard. Demons... I'm sure everyone's heard of them. You know, beings from hell, coming to steal/drag/connive/barter people's souls to hell. Oh please, can I help it if some people didn't pay attention to what I was saying instead of just staring at me like I had 3 heads and two tails? Of course, part of the confusion might have been caused by the costume I was wearing at the time. I hadn't quite gotten time traveling down quite right without using my machine, but figured the only way I'd learn was by doing, right? Figured I'd change clothes when I got to the time/place I wanted to be. Kind of like when I was a prepper and thinking I had a pretty good idea on how to do something, but it didn't quite work out like I thought it would. Which is why I always kept a few fire extinguishers in/around my place while cooking just in case. Not only did I have the wrong time, but the wrong place?! People started screaming and fleeing with me shouting at them I was a DIMENSIONAL TRAVELLER. But did they listen? Nnnnoooooo. So, from the words dimensional traveler, came the word demon. And I NEVER heard anyone complaining about having too much money, which is why there are 2 other planets (in different dimensions) dedicated to just shopping. One is called The Mall, the other The Bazaar, each catering to a different level of affluence, meaning at The Mall, you don't ask what it costs, you just buy it. At The Bazaar, you can haggle about the price with the merchant “demons”. So, if there's ever a time you think you saw a demon, hopefully you'll reconsider what it/he/she/they may have been. Like the time I ran a “freak show” and a small carnival on this planet. Actually, they weren't freaks, as in being human. They were actually aliens (and I'm not talking about my boys/Mothers people either) from other worlds/dimensions who helped me during my travels to their world or wanted to know more about other worlds/dimensions. And getting some interesting gee gaws to boot. And writers don't mind using someone elses ideas, ESPECIALLY if they haven't been printed before. Like Mark Twain did in his Connecticut Yankee In King Arthurs Court book. From time to time, I'll go to Dungeons & Dragons (fantasy) conventions and got to talking with this guy named Bob Aspirin who was thinking of writing a book with different authors contributing a story, BUT also being able to use the other writers characters in their story. Sounded interesting, but happened to mention what if magic was real and then about The Mall and The Bazaar. Thing is, there are places where magic is real and not to be trifled with unless you know what you're doing. And some things are so advanced technologically that they seem like magic. Like rings that can shoot laser beams, cones of cold that are so cold, people can be frozen in place, anti-gravity rings, wands that shoot fireballs (or different colors like a rainbow), etc. And if you're wondering, I've got quite a collection of those gee gaws. You know what's fun? Using a ring that is either anti-gravity or wind based. See a pretty little thing walking down the street with a flowing/loose dress. Aim my wind ring at an area just behind her, shoot it at the ground so the air bounces against the sidewalk/dirt and up goes her dress! Lara's gave me a bunch of sh*t about me wanting to practice these 2 on them, but convinced them I needed to learn how to control them BEFORE I really needed to use 'em. And with my ability to jump things simply by seeing them, you ought to see the expression on womens faces when they suddenly realize they're NOT wearing ANY undergarments after I hit 'em with the wind ring! And guys, don't shake your head in disapproval....you'd do it too given the chance. I mean, how many times have guys watched and re-watched that part of film where Marilyn is standing above that air vent and suddenly her dress is flying up? As to the Lara's, they put up with a lot of my shenanigans as they call it....but at a price. Once they've reached a certain point, they want to go shopping, which is no problem with me.....BUT they tell me I have to go AND stay with them until they're done?! A mans heaviest burden to bear is having to not only go with a woman while she's shopping, but stay with her the entire time. Then while in a bar in Frisco during the 60's, got to bs'ing with Barry Sadler who was just back from Vietnam as a Green Beret. We got off to a rocky start with him asking me if I was some free love hippie. Of course, during this time, I was looking like a hippie....after all, it was the time of free love and believe me, I wasn't passing ANY of it up and long hair helped. I said oh yeah....about as much as you're a mother raping, baby killin' war monger. That's when Philthy Philbert (bartender) said he told me before, my money was no good here and I better get over to Mama Gina's place for a visit. Ended up dragging Barry with me to her place and things were going very, very well for not only her/family, but everyone else in the neighborhood. She kind of stared at me and asked what happened to me because while I was here, the me here, wasn't the one she last saw. Think it was a mothers intuition at work. Told her it had been awhile, but to please let it go at that. After all, years later, I had not only to her funeral (and several other family members), but others I've met thru the years. But then I started sniffing the odor of spaghetti and lasagna and she had plates ready for us both really quick, followed by other goodies for Barry/me. Afterwards we left for a bar and got to discussing history. He THOUGHT he knew history, but I told him how it REALLY was. When he said the way I was telling it, it was like I was actually there at many battles and other countries/ cities. I didn't say a thing, but just looked at him and he was the first to turn away. And that's how he started the Casca, the Eternal Mercenary series of books. As to Mama Gina, she ran a spaghetti joint and yeah, I helped her and her family out one time. Was in Memphis, Tennessee for a few months, when I ran into Elvis.....yeah, THAT Elvis. Saw him perform in a local show and guess he saw I wasn't too impressed with him and he wanted to know what my problem was. Told the kid he was a good singer, no doubt about it, but as far as showmanship, he couldn't sell a red hot, wood burning stove to a naked Eskimo up to his nuts in snow. Neither he or his new manager “The Col.” were happy with my description and “The Col.” said to ignore me, because I don't know what I'm talking about and they turned to leave. I said oh really, watch this. Got the band back together, got up on the stage and calling out to the girls still there, said there's music and THERE'S MUSIC. Then started singing Don't Step On My Blue Suede Shoes, but this time, I moved my hips and moved around the stage LOOKING at more than one teenybopper while moving my hips. They sure didn't expect someone close to their Dads age to be moving like that, but they sure as hell liked it. Then said, hey Elvis, give my way a try, he did, the girls went really wild, and well, the rest is history. Not that I ever (as usual) got any credit. And it was the same with The Beatles BEFORE they became famous. Was in Liverpool and from time to time I'd find myself playing in a band and while many guys thought I was a bit old, they had no problem knowing I was really good at what ever they wanted me to play. You see, not all music is sound based. There's a world (other dimension) where music is actually a light show because these people (think giant caterpillars) bodies produced lights to speak from “bulbs” that were part of their bodies. Another world was where speech/music was done by smell! A lot of their current music REALLY stinks, but then it's the younger generation making it. Think rap, hip hop, etc. The older stuff? You can smell not only cascading water bubbling over rocks in a creek, but feel the water in the air. My favorite is Life and Death, though that's the best interpretation I can give it. It's about a caterpillar who becomes a butterfly, but is shortly afterwards eaten by a fish. Basically, the song reminds you about the cycles of life and death and has been a favorite there for a little over 5,000 years. So much for hip hop/rap longevity. Well, there I was playing a sitar for background music when George asked me if I'd sub for their drummer who was out with a cold and of course, not working out too well with them. After giving them a demo of me on the drums, it was good enough they offered me a job, but told them I didn't like staying in one place too long, but I knew this guy named Ringo....... And of course, later on, John got into playing the sitar as part of the bands music. Remember me talking about the Mermaid and Aquaman? Back in the mid/late 1600's, found myself in Port Royal in Jamaica. Now at one time, it was described as the “most wicked and sinful city in the world” and “one of the lewdest in the Christian world.” Oh please.... remember, I've been around for awhile and it wouldn't be much more than a pimple on a fly's d*ck compared to some of the places I've been to like Sodom and Gomorrah. No doubt some are asking was I a pirate? No, because in reality, being either pays squat. I ran/owned a shop and tavern. With so much gold and pirate/privateer loot coming in, the men would want to buy things for the ladies and of course, the ladies were always looking for something to look really nice. When word came out how the fashions were in London, Madrid, etc., within a few days I had those fashions/jewelery available for sale. As to the tavern, there were women who worked upstairs when the men wanted more than ale or rum if you know what I mean. I also took pride in everyone knowing I served not only THE best meals, but the best rum. Of course, the rum being sold was on the average, 100 years old. All you have to do is make/store it and viola, instant 100 year old rum. Later, it was whiskey, etc. in the west. And the gold/loot rolled in. Now I had several Lara's working at my places and of course, I had to deal with only a couple of rowdy guys who were getting a little too frisky with my ladies. I certainly didn't look like some fierce, prepare to be boarded, sea going pirate, but a mild, mannered individual....until one of my people got involved. Cutlass, dagger, dirk, pike, etc.... it didn't matter what weapon my proponent was attempting to use, they lost. My favorite is still a staff, the same weapon the Shaolin monks taught me to use. Well, things were going well for me until that earthquake hit Port Royal back in 1692. Thing is, Port Royal was a SMALL island off the coast of Jamaica with the majority of the town right over the water, with land being so valuable. When a quake hit back in 1688, I decided it was time to upgrade construction wise, my establishments....but didn't think about tsunami's....as in one of them being 40 feet or so high. Fortunately, I had a lot of other businesses surrounding me, so when the big quake hit, I was okay until the tsunami hit and lost the tavern. As to my shop, the tsunami was so bad that it lifted HMS Swan from the harbor to sitting on top of my shop/home, with it becoming a refuge for survivors. By “amazing” co-incidence, my tavern was undergoing additional “renovations” at the time, so it was closed with my employees/working ladies/friends having a barbeque in Jamaica where I had another home. Stayed pretty busy for a few days rescuing people, but shortly afterwards, sold everything and moved on. It was during the War Between The States that I met a lot of other famous people like “Buffalo Bill” Cody when he worked as a scout for the Union army. Of course, this was BEFORE he became known as Buffalo Bill. Now originally his show was called The Scouts Of The Prairie, but later changed to Buffalo Bill's Wild West and Congress of Rough Riders of the World. Don't remember off hand where I met Bill other than when he was running his first show for a bit. He offered me a job, which I took. By this time, I had A LOT of riding experience between living out west, during The War and of course, as a stunt man in the movies. Now Chief Sitting Bull was part of his show, along with a bunch of other Native American warriors whooping it up for the spectators. Here's a photo someone took of us. I'm WAY in the back as I didn't really want to be photographed, but some of them wanted me in it, so figured what the hell, why not. As to Sitting Bull, damn good man, but he and related family member Black Elk (Hehaka Sapa), about had a cow (or in their case, buffalo calves) when we met because the last time they had seen me, it was in his camp just before they cleaned Custer and his troops clocks. Adding to this was I hadn't aged. Being in his camp was something I hadn't planned on doing, but wanted to see what really happened to Custer & troops. Found a nice place with water, etc. and just wanted to kick back for a few days before heading for good camouflaged hidey holes on the sides of some hills where I'd have a good telescopic camera to see/record everything. Had just returned from having a 5 star breakfast in France and had just finished packing up my bedding, when suddenly there's about 200 warriors whooping it up, charging at me and anxious as all get out to claim my long hair.....until they saw my standard which was a buffalo's skeleton head mounted on a 6 foot tall staff AND white buffalo hide around it. Now I've been a member of a lot of tribes, including many that simply don't exist any more....at least in the last couple of hundred years. And believe me, more than one tribe wanted me to make war or go raiding on another so they could have more land, etc. and therefore, more resources for their tribe. When I said no, they knew I wasn't a coward. I just didn't want to take sides, because after all, would they like it if I was at the other tribes camp and they wanted me to do the same to them? They didn't and the other thing they knew is where ever I sat with my standard, it was neutral ground which meant NO fighting/stealing/killing, etc. within my eye sight. So once someone got close enough to see my standard, he/she/they could call out to me and got sanctuary. Now it was kind of awkward with me and my standard where all the tribes were going to meet, so I took it down. The leaders of the various tribes and medicine men like Black Elk weren't surprised that I was there once they were told and looked at this as a good omen. They were disappointed in that I wouldn't be joining them in the fight, but was told I'd be watching which made them feel even better. Looked up old friends (and yes, some of the single ladies too) talking about old times along with what their great, etc. grandfathers were like while they made their plans. I took off early that morning of the attack and saw/filmed it all from several hidey holes. Like I said before, I try to document man's history good and bad. Ended up giving my standard to Chief Sitting Bull, telling him it was for the people and he knew what I meant. It wasn't just for his tribe, but for all. A symbol to rally the people should they ever need to band together like they did that day. So this standard has been passed from tribe to tribe since then, each tribe holding it for 5 years, then passing it to another. In less than a year, got tired of Bill's show, but didn't want to just say goodbye to everyone and disappear. So I made an offer to Chief Sitting Bull and the others they couldn't refuse: go on a buffalo hunt like they did in the old days. Oh yeah, they were all for it, but concerned about having to go back to America to do this. I said don't worry, we won't even be missed AND your wives/children will have buffalo meat instead of beef or mutton for at least a little while and you can sing your songs about the hunt....just leave my name out of it okay? After a show, everyone was getting a day off, so they got their horses, bows and lances and I jumped us all back into the past WAY BEFORE Europeans ever showed up. They had to go thru the ng, ng, ng stage of course and after resting, took them to the top of a hill where below us were over 30,000 buffalo eating prairie grass. They all looked like kids being inside the biggest toy/candy store in the world as they hadn't seen this many buffalo in decades. I also took their wives and kids, with the women being happy to live their old lives again even if it was for a little bit and the kids learned how things were back in their parents, grandparents, etc. days. Ended up being there for a few days and of course, another buffalo or two was killed to feed everyone. Of course, Bill couldn't understand why they weren't eating at his dining hall like they did for awhile and I was requested to speak with him about it. Told Bill that he didn't want to know what was going on, but by the way, here's 20 pounds of jerked buffalo meat and 20 pounds of buffalo steaks. He just looked at me, took the meat, said okay and turned right back to his place. Was in England during Bills show for awhile and some British mucky mucks were talking how good their horsemanship was.... I insulted all of them when I said you don't know jack sh*t about horsemanship and jack's not here. Of course, a duel was proposed among them, but by this time, word had spread NOT to duel with me. But when I suggested, let's make it REALLY interesting by making a bet on who's better. Or better yet, how about I beat all six of you in horsemanship? Like P.T. Barnum told me, there's a sucker born every minute. Thing is, they REALLY wanted my horse which wasn't really a horse. Now one of the worlds/dimensions I had visited, the most intelligent life form there are the horse people. They looked like horses basically over all, but had skinny legs and basically looked like they were ready for the glue factory. Didn't take me long to understand they were intelligent, the hard part was teaching them English. I used a VERY large “lap top” comprised of nothing but letters and a screen. They now have smaller “lap tops” and use a large stylus to touch the letters. Not only were those people were quick learners, but heard more than one foal/pony moan about having to go to school....that is, until how much better their lives would be with an education. As to my “horse”, more than one Brit wanted to buy him because word had spread how fast he really was. So I turned to Windy and asked if he wanted to race and of course he did....provided he got paid for his effort. Which in this case was more apple trees back at his place. You see, before I arrived there, there weren't any apple trees. All they had was something about the size of a walnut, but because of the stickers on it, you could only eat them at certain times of the year and it was the peoples favorite food. Which is why I had planted hundred of thousands of DW's altered apple trees. I lost a lot of trees simply because they thought the entire tree was to be eaten! Yeah, they could eat about anything. Thing is, Windy got his name because of his breaking wind when he'd eat too many apples and the smell was awful! His wife would only let him eat so many, then she'd send him outside when he wanted more. Along with new plants coming from their planet, horse manure is their main export. Why? Because some how after eating those apples, when the manure is used on other plants, they grow faster/bigger than normal. Do this over a couple of generations of plants and...... Well, Windy and I kicked everyone's a$$. Windy had been looking at a couple of mares and when he cocked his head, looked at me, then them, I knew what he wanted in addition to more apple trees. As to the mares, Windy looked at them as basically as your beautiful, but dumb blonde, not that Windy was interested in their intelligence. I said okay and I can already hear women talking about your typical male line of thought. The only thing the Brits got to keep was the clothes on their backs and boots on their feet, while Windy got his trees and 2 new wives, while the others found new husbands on Windy's world. As to their gelded horses, left them at one of the reservations we had set up. The reason I didn't take them to Windy's world was because none of the horse people had ever been gelded and of course, Windy thought it was a barbaric practice on my world. You were either male or female, no in between/sexual confusion. And if you're wondering, in exchange for their manure, I've got a construction company which makes shelters that are horse size. Attachments:
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Post by 9idrr on Nov 30, 2016 21:36:00 GMT -6
Another rare treat. Thanks for this chapter.
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Post by willc453 on Jun 16, 2017 18:43:28 GMT -6
The Affected: Tale Of Two Brothers Chapter 37 One world is where magic was used and when I say magic, I mean say the magic word/gesture and you could literally pull a rabbit out of an actual empty hat. Now that place was real interesting, especially hanging around female warriors/magic users/ priests/expert treasure hunters. And no, I never “did it” with women on that world that gamers/movie goers would call halflings, Hobbits or Dwarves. But those “elven women”....YEOW! While there were a bunch of cities, they all seemed to be of the medieval type, most of the buildings being made of wood, straw, etc., but there were also a bunch of castles which ALWAYS had a city near/next to it. Figured I'd start off small, you know, check out a city that didn't have a castle because something like that would take a long time in checking out. Saw a dirt road that didn't have any traffic that I could see nearby, so jumped to it with no problem at all. I, of course, figuring it's medieval architecture, I'd dress up like a wandering merchant, especially since I might be able to make a couple of bucks. Just doing my best to support the capitalists way of free enterprise. And please remember, keeping an evil empire running is NOT cheap, nor is it when the Laura's want to go shopping. Walking down the road, minding my own business when I see another road going off in a different direction. Now, I could of gotten back into my ship and checked it out via the telescopes, but said screw it and started jumping in leaps and bounds. Thing is, figured I must of traveled 50 miles, seeing nothing and was getting ready to jump back to the main road or maybe even just outside of the town I had been traveling to. But then I heard a woman scream and it was of pure terror. A jump or two ended up having me facing a large clearing and got one hell of a surprise. How about a REALLY BIG, RED DRAGON?! (Underdog theme music please) In front of it, was a girl (Zahra, which meant flower) who was tied to a stake and of course, was to be this dragons snack. I mean, dragons eat a hell of a lot of food, so 1 human is nothing more than just a snack. Of course, the dragon was enjoying itself by craning it's neck/head from side to side, licking it's teeth/jaws, then would move a little closer to the girl, while giving off about 10 feet of flame. Now, dragons when fully grown, are HUGE.....like brontosaurus size and while a 155mm artillery piece (don't ask how many I have either, okay?) would of probably taken care of it, I didn't want to bring in obvious advanced technology. Didn't want to start a arms race you know. But I jumped back to one of my places (a different world/dimension) and told a couple of Laura's what I needed. They got my “magical” rings to me with no trouble, but I wanted a something little different for a staff, which also meant I had to go the route of being Merlin.....again. And if you're wondering where that Dr. Lao character came from..... It's amazing what you can do with makeup and hanging around learning from others in the circus, carnie and movie people like Lon Chaney. And why would I dress up/act like I was Chinese? That's a another story to tell some other time. And Laura's.....they're sssoooo damn suspicious.....instead of asking why I needed such a staff, first question basically from all of them was: what does she look like?! And this was even from a couple of the mechanical Laura's. (Think they've been hanging around the flesh & blood Laura's too long.) I said why would you think there's a woman involved? Again, more than one said unhunh, when you want something that's unusual, there's ALWAYS a woman involved.....or several! Took the girls about a week to make it, then for another few days with me practicing with it. Still having the mind set of a prepper, I want to know how to use everything BEFORE the shtf, ESPECIALLY when dealing with a big a$$, fire breathing dragon. Of course, during this time, I just kicked back telling the Laura's what I had been up to and downloading some information about the other dimensional worlds I had been to while also being catered to like a grand poo-bah by his harem. So when I left, we were all satisfied. I, of course, simply jumped backwards in time to just after I had left in the beginning with the dragon licking its chops, etc. But not for long. Jumped to what I considered a safe distance from being roasted and called out to it, saying, hey you fat & smelly lizard, go back to eating bugs and then hit it with 500,000 volts of electricity from my staff! Did I happen to mention I hit it in it's crotch area? Oh yeah, that got it's attention right off the bat....that is after it stopped flopping around on the ground. It said something in dragonese and figured it was NOT something like “you're so right and I'll be leaving right now”. As soon as it leaned its necks towards me and opened it's mouth REALLY wide, I jumped to be behind it because I have seen a few dragon movies like Pete's Dragon, Godzilla, etc. and knew what was going to happen next. It was standing on all 4 legs and tail was up in the air, leaving me another open shot of its crotch...... This time with a -100 degree shot of cold! The dragon fell to the ground unable to even twitch leg or tail for about a minute or three, at which time I jumped to the girl, cut her iron shackles from the post and jumped us way out of any dragon fire breathing danger. While she's going thru the ng phase of being jumped, went back to the dragon I named Big Red and whacked it on its nose with my staff. Boy, was it mad, but couldn't do anything except stare at me and of course, I could see in its eyes that it REALLY wanted me for its next “snack”.....VERY slowly of course. Said to him, don't know if you understand me or not, but your days of eating beautiful women are over while I'm around. Now I want you to get up, fly away and never return. There's a new sheriff in town and I'm not putting up with any of your dragon shenanigans, understand? Then pointed my staff at it, flapped my arms like I was a bird, pointed at the sky and started walking away with my back turned to it. Well, you know how guys can be when it comes to women. The little head starts doing all the thinking for the big head. Add to this it being a dragon and used to terrifying everyone while munching on pretty girls on a regular basis, It THOUGHT it was payback time for this uppity human. Thing is, as big as it was, it also cast a BIG shadow and I had a small mirror as part of my “staff” which I kept pointed at the dragon while walking away from it. When I saw it get up on its legs, crane its neck towards me, I jumped to what I THOUGHT was a safe distance. A hundred feet of flame, 20 feet wide came out of it and I got singed! Now that ticked me off.....I mean, here I was trying to enjoy a brand new world, hoping to commune with nature and all of her 2 legged beauty, while also trying to preserve the local wildlife...... and it not only wants to burn/eat me, but put singe marks on my “wizards” robe AND a few small flaming holes in it?! Laura's put a lot of work in making this robe and was sure they were going to be really pi$$ed at me if they found out I had no sooner started using it, that it got damaged, dragon attack or not.....AND of course, there being a girl involved?! And before I forget, kevlar is NOT dragon fire proof, something I took care of after that first encounter, along with making it acid, electrical, etc. proof. Even had a bunch of capes made so when I wasn't wearing my Merlins costume, but ordinary clothes, I had protection because even as old as I am, I still remember that alley way and being mugged in Chicago. Well, jumped to a further out of fire breathing distance, beat the few smoldering flames out and decided to teach this lizard a few lessons in manners. I mean, this thing tried flaming me when my back was turned. Well, Big Red was up in the air and coming for another attack and got quite a shock when it found me on its long neck, just behind its head among the spines that ran from there to the end of its tail. Had a good grip on one of its spines, so whacked it on the head with my staff a couple of times, saying gitty up horsey. Dragons do NOT like being treated as some kind of domesticated horse and of course, this had NEVER happened to it before. Well, I've ridden a lot of broncs back when I was a cowhand and of course, stunt man in the movies, but it was NOTHING compared to what I got from that dragon. Of course I got thrown off a lot with Big Red doing its best to either eat or flame me in mid air until I got tired of this. Zap it in its balls with a medium jolt of electricity or frost, while then suddenly being back behind its neck, then whacking it again on its head with my staff. It finally had enough and understood that I was NOT going to be flamed/eaten by it. It turned its head towards me and when I pointed my staff to the ground, it landed. Jump to the ground a safe distance away and made shooing motions towards it and the sky, at which point it took off. Now Zahra was what people would call elven and boy, what a looker AND long, reddish colored hair. She, of course, had hauled a$$ while I was doing my dragon bronco busting ride. Not that it helped her. Tried tracking her, but she and her people are what some would call wood elves. I called and called out for her, but no Zahra. Maybe it was because she'd had a hard day. First it was her going to be roasted & munched on by a dragon, then a magic user suddenly appears and who knows what he's going to do with/to her? While many can use magic to a degree, there's some magic users and then there's the REAL magic users and there's a difference between the three. And of course, some of those real few are kind of uppity/snobs. Think of some politician, famous actress/actor who are full of themselves and have no time/interest for the common man. On this world, you DON'T tick these kinds off either or you just may become their next magical experimental subject, kind of like being an unwilling lab rat. But the majority of people there are ordinary just like everyone here who wasn't Affected. But then I got to thinking, why isn't she here? I mean, there I was risking life and limb to save the fair damsel and afterwards, why didn't she come running to me, fling her arms around me and giving me a lot of smooches while thanking me? This was NOT turning out like some Disney movie with a happy ending...for at least right now. Well, remembered her face, etc. and jumped. She was hauling a$$ down some forest path and boy, that girl could run....and showing a lot of leg. I called out to her and she twirled around and had already made a pointy spear and made jabbing motions towards me as in come no closer. Well, swept my hat off with one hand and I bowed. Then I dropped to my knees, wringing my hands, started with a bunch of fake crying and asking like I was asking for mercy because she was so fierce looking. She just looked at me for a bit, then started laughing while motioning me to get back on my feet. She realized since I had just kicked a dragons a$$, her spear wasn't going to be much help. With sign language, pantomiming and being a little telepathic, able to ask/understand her as far as where she was going and finding out it's going to take us at least 2 weeks of walking. Well heck, I hadn't brought any camping gear, but soon solved that by jumping to get what we needed. And some how, I forgot to bring enough sleeping gear for 2 people. So that night when I laid out the gear and got ready to go to bed, she looked at the set up, pointed at me, the bed and herself, shaking her head no. Oh boy, the chase was on and of course she got her own sleeping gear that night. As to my Merlin singed gear, went to a different set of Lara's to have that fixed/upgraded. Works out really well for me when the left hand doesn't let the right hand know what it's been up to if you know what I mean. Well, I'm in great shape and actually forward to spending a lot of time with Zahra which could give me a lot of time to work my wicked, decadent, etc. ways on her. But then things changed because I didn't want to go hiking thru the woods for a couple of weeks, especially after having to deal with those giant spiders because I had no idea what we'd face next. Think of spiders ranging from a lazy boy recliner size, up to a couch which could seat 4 people comfortably. And I had a BAD feeling when I saw those wood with all those spider webs everywhere. Asked if we could go around, but told it would be several months, maybe longer, with this being the quickest way. She, was of course, trying to avoid any human city, something I didn't know about until later. These spiders were NOTHING like the spider people I met on another world/dimension. We really pushed it in trying to get thru it. First night was no problem, but then I had us a dome tent and of course, it wasn't your normal tent either. With the “kevlar” coating, it was equivalent to 5” of steel, but only weighed 6 pounds and enough room for 3 people comfortably. It was when we were almost thru those woods when we got hit. Talking with Zahra one moment, next moment she's gone, but hear her screaming. Look up and there she is, being dragged upwards into the trees by several spiders who had pinned her arms/legs together with webbing. No sooner saw that and I'm hit/pinned and being dragged upwards. Bad move on their part because I aint even gotten a smooch from Zahra yet. Damn things I gotta go thru to get one from a woman at times. Jumped all of us back to the dragon clearing, but this time Zahra didn't have to deal with the ng phase as long, but as for the spiders, they were just kind of twitching. I jumped out of my webbing, then did the same for Zahra. Then gave a dragon burst of electricity to those spiders, followed by cold. That took care of that. Told Zahra to wait a moment and jumped to another set of Lara's and told them what I needed. But got smart this time in wearing just regular clothes instead of my Merlins outfit which really helped because those Lara's had talked with those who made my Merlins outfit and never connected the dots so to speak. Realized I had screwed up with Zahra because I never thought of giving her a weapon. It wasn't ego on my part as in I'm here, I'll protect you kind of thing. So I drew on the ground a bow, spear and sword, then asked if she'd want them. Of course she did, but this time went to another entirely different set of Laras for these weapons. (I might be slow in some things about women, but I'm NOT that slow.) Zahra got a 3' sword that could cut thru a 3' tree for example with no problem, a 8” toad sticker with same ability but good for 8” trees of course. The compound bow had a IBO speed of 500' per second, but only a draw weight of 30 pounds. Two dozen arrows...well, modified of course. She went for the bow to begin as she'd never seen this type before, but wasn't impressed with how easily it pulled back. So I pointed at a tree a bit over 500' away and told her to shoot it. It went thru the 3 foot tree and we played hell in trying to find that arrow. Then had her whack at the same tree with sword and toad sticker. NOW she was impressed. I, of course, had brought what I called my spider exterminator. It was an EXTREMLY modified WW 2 type flame thrower because my normal flame staff wasn't going to make it. Those spiders had REALLY pi$$ed me off. After explaining what I wanted her to do, gave Zahra my staff and a ring to wear so she could use the cold part of the staff. She was to stay behind me, making sure the flames didn't get too close to us. And boys and girls, I went to town on those spiders, webs and forest. By jumping, I'd have us in the tree tops, shooting downwards all over that over that forest. Any spider I saw trying to haul a$$, I flamed. Thing is, the forest was heavily infested not only spiders, but webs which while the webs easily caught fire, they didn't last, but they did catch other webs on fire, so everything spread kind fire wise, but it wasn't enough for me. Jumped Zahra back to that open clearing where we first met, then jumped to a couple of places. Like where there's ALWAYS a few young & eager Hogzilla's not only looking for some adventure/ excitement, but a future in being able to establish their own clan. And of course, there's always people wanting to do the same along with the dog and horse people. The tree people didn't believe me at first, but once they read my mind, they knew everything I had just done was true and what my plans were. Thing is, everyone knew that I/they had no idea when I'd be be back to check on them on this new planet time wise. They didn't care. Then add supplies for at least 5 years (prepper attitude has NEVER left me), along with weapons, though no firearms. They got bows, swords, etc. like Zahra had gotten from me, then training people on being able to use 'em, so all of this took time. With fires going off everywhere in the forest, the local king got notified and went with a group of his people including a magic user, to find out what was going on. Which is where I got my first taste of being magicked, something I did NOT like. Anyway, was a bit late time wise in returning to Zahra and right off the bat, see Zahra had her hands tied behind her back. Didn't think I had been gone that long, but apparently an hour or so had gone by, with the patrol capturing her.....and getting the kings interest of course. And that WASN'T going to happen. I mean after all, I'M the one who risked life and limb to rescue fair damsel, not this leering leach. Zahra broke free of the soldier holding her and ran to me where I cut her bonds. Then see 3 soldiers with the gear I had brought and of course, her weapons. Gestured to bring them to us, they look to their king who shakes his head no. No problem....jump the gear to us, with Zahra quickly grabbing her weapons. Of course, everyone jumped back upon seeing all this stuff appear in front of us. King motions for some bald headed dude in a robe and I'm (not) thinking okay, now the king's going to have this demon (me) banished. Are they ever going to be surprised. Boy, was I wrong about who was surprised. He starts gesturing with his hands while speaking and next thing I know it's dark and feels like there's 500 pounds of weight on me. Struggle to get out of this weight and then see a foot that's gotta be at least 25' long coming towards me! I ran, but next thing I know is I'm dangling WAY up in the air and happen to see Zahra's face and it's humongous. Then the bald headed guy is holding up a piece of polished steel and I can see me and the hand that's holding me.....I'M A GODDAMN MOUSE?! Next thing I know is I'm flying thru the air WITHOUT the greatest of ease because I'm not used to being a mouse AND headed for a cat about the size of an elephant?! Did have enough of me mentally left to jump to some Lara's which almost did NOT end well because as soon as the first one saw me, she called out to the others with them grabbing what ever weapons they had in hand. In this case, it was a badminton rackets! If I had been thinking right, I should of gone to those Lara's where they play volleyball on the beach all the time.....and believe me boys, that's a sight to see! From a mouses perspective, those badminton racks were about 10 feet wide and would weigh at least a hundred pounds which is a lot when you're mouse size and weigh less than an ounce. Fortunately, I scurried under a table and within seconds I started changing back to my human form....naked of course. To say this surprised the h*ll out of them, is putting it mildly. Their first thought was I had been Affected a 3rd time, but I came clean.....as far as telling them about a world in another dimension where dragons/ BIG spiders existed and magic worked. Since AT THE TIME, they didn't ask if there was a woman involved, didn't see any reason to bring that part up. Of course, EVENTUALLY they got to thinking/talking things over with each other and ended up having to take them to The Mall AND The Bazaar! Before heading back to that world of magic, started talking with a bunch of my people about what happened and of course, they thought I was yanking their chains as magic, of course, doesn't exist. But 2 of the Lara's were mechanical and had recorded everything. Talk about a new law of physics being discovered. Once I had everyone checking this out, jumped back so I'd be behind the magic using son of a b*tch, then jumped him and me back to the mechanical Lara's world where I had a chamber waiting for him. Figured magic SHOULDN'T work there, but took no chances. So when he “woke up”, found he couldn't speak and his first two fingers on each hand were fused together.....along with his job now being to clean out a VERY large set of elephant stalls every day. Remember, all this was mental and made sure the elephant dung was VERY, VERY smelly and messy. I based all of this in part after meeting the elephant people, who are pretty nice people and LOVE the banana trees I planted on their planet....ESPECIALLY the lady elephant people. Jump forward in time and jumped/brought in 500 Hogzilla's with riders just a few hundred feet from where the king and his men were at. Later on, colonists, tree people, etc. were brought in. Of course, couldn't bring in 500 Hogzilla's & riders in at one time and when I did bring them in, it made a kind of kaboom sound because of the displacing of the air. They (king, soldiers and Zahra) twirled around to see what was causing the noise and stood there jaws wide open as more and more of my people suddenly appeared. And if you're wondering, I jumped everyone brought to this world, so that when I did jump them, they were used to it. Thing is, as each group of 100 (Hogzilla's & riders) appeared, one of the riders would blow his horn. And of course, had to have a standard/flag to show these yahoos who we were and what they were dealing with. In tribute to the Shaolin monks from so long ago, used the Chinese symbol for time. Now remember, maybe a couple of minutes in their time had passed since I was changed into a mouse, disappeared, then re-appeared to snatch/disappear with that magic user. When I walked towards them, I was naked, thought of my clothes and weapons and suddenly I was fully clothed with weapons ready to go, including my staff. Nothing like demonstrating who could REALLY work “magic” which was the reason I walked towards them naked. Looked at the 2 guards holding Zahra and they couldn't let go of her quick enough and that went for returning her weapons....which maybe wasn't that good of an idea because she turned and chopped off the kings head! The soldiers drew weapons and of course, were going to kill Zahra, but I simply jumped all of them a couple of feet and while they were going thru the ng phase, had them disarmed. Thru Zahra, found out the king was married, but only had a daughter. His wife was well liked by the people, but the king.... well, he liked dallying with women whether they wanted him or not. Basically all the queen was to do was bear at least one boy, other wise shut up/stay out of sight. Told the guards that I was claiming not only the spider infested forest, but 5 miles of the surrounding area. They didn't like it, but had no choice. Told them that I'd meet their queen later on and not only would we formalize a deal, it would be beneficial to both parties. It takes some time to clear about 150 square miles of forest of spiders & webs and no, we didn't get off scott free as we lost some Hogzilla's & people. With all the fires going, some of the spiders started hauling a$$ for open country, which we had to track down. Eventually the forest was cleared and during this time, forts/homes/shops were built, farms laid out, etc. Zahra, I, along with 2 Hogzilla's, finally got to Zahra's people. They had never seen a Hogzilla or heard of anyone being able to do what Zahra had said I had done, so started jumping around them, on top of trees, homes, etc. Thru Zahra, explained my people were from a different country, which WAS true, right? That we came in peace and just looking for some place to not only settle, but also form friendships with our new neighbors. Now while I call them elves, they call themselves Tel'Quessir which means your ordinary elf. Of course there's different names/titles as you go up the food chain. Now wanting some alone time with Zahra on our way to her people, TRIED to get her to ride on the same Hogzilla with me.....and of course, having her in front of me. That didn't work out, so she got her own. Of course, I had a chat with her mount letting him know I was interested in this “sow”. He understood and afterwards, handsomely rewarded. The elves were quick to understand that Hogzilla's weren't extra large pigs, but people also.....kind of like dragons, unicorns, etc. have intelligence. Thought for awhile I'd never get anywhere with Zahra and asked her about this. Tells me she didn't want to care for me too much because before too long, I'd die of old age while she had hundreds of years ahead of her?! She looked like she was somewhere between 19 and early 20's. Tells me she's just a bit over 200 years old?! I kind of stood there in shock, she said she was sorry and walked away. Until I told her that I usually don't try being with children, but I'll make an exception in your case. She stopped and asked what I meant. Told her I had no idea how old I was, but unless I'm killed, I should live forever. That you could go to a beach and take 2 hand fulls of sand, with each piece of sand representing a day in your life and continually grab more sand until you're tired of doing this. She was able to catch glimpses of my life telepathically and she knew I was telling the truth. And of course, some of the women I had spent time with. Well, all that fighting and stuff I did for her paid off. Boy, did it REALLY pay off because the other elven ladies had never thought of sleeping with a “wizard”. Remember that old tv commercial were the guy says don't leave home without it, meaning that companies credit card. In this case, it was ganja. As to the colonists, they had a council of 13, with the 13th member there in case there were any ties. Nine were women and chosen by the colonists as the best people to do the job. When I eventually went to see the queen, had some Hogzilla's and colonists with me. The guards weren't going to let the Hogzilla's into the castles main meeting room, so I said we're leaving and went to leave. That caused an uproar among all the paper pushing castle people. But the queen's practical and she came outside to meet & great us. We all bowed when she came out, but she didn't expect the Hogzilla's to do this. The land we had claimed became part of her kingdom, but as a baron or what ever it's called. The guy elected by my people became the baron and his wife & the queen hit it off pretty well. No one can still explain why some technology simply doesn't work. Gunpowder won't explode, anymore than a match will light. But, America/the world wasn't so dependent on technology not long ago. This was why some of the more “primitive”countries dealt with the 2 nuke wars aftermath much better than other countries. You could go back to the 1900's and find a lot of water, wind & animal powered equipment being used on a day to day basis mainly on farms. Iron workers/blacksmiths couldn't keep up with the demand and of course, once a new plow was made, it was quickly copied by other blacksmiths of that world. Water wheels were common, but no one thought of windmills. Later, brought in bigger/healthier livestock for breeding with the local stuff which improved everyone's life. You'd be surprised how people quit talking of war against us when they realize how much trading they're doing with us and how the quality of their lives have improved in doing so. Regular western style saddles were another big hit. Slavery was accepted as the norm of things, but we refused to do business with anyone who did. That made us very unpopular. The queen abolished it after we had a talk and I took anyone/everyone who wanted to join us. Some just wanted to return their their own homeland, so made arrangements they had safe passage. I told you the queen was smart....did I mention sneaky? We talked it over with me becoming the royal magician and she let it “slip” she/I were an “item”. Think I spent 90 years or so there, mainly dealing with some uppity magic users, dragons and of course the nobles who didn't like our form of democracy. Rapists were given 2 options: being hung or doing 10 years manual labor which was ALWAYS dirty and some times dangerous. Noble or commoner, it didn't matter, the sentence was always the same. Of course, some nobles took offense at our attempting to interfere at what they called “sporting” with local wenches. Until they disappeared only to be found hanging from the castle wall with one word written on their foreheads: rapist. Get rid of about 50-60 of 'em and suddenly they quieted down with no more interest in “sporting”. As to dragons, the worse ones were the reds and blacks. I liked the green ones because they were in tune with the forest/nature, with the elves having good rapport with them. But the yellow ones.....they have such a sly sense of humor. But you know how it is.... a few bad apples make the other apples look/taste bad. Thing is, those 2 colors were used to having it their own way, any time, anywhere. For a bit, thought we'd have to kill every one of them. But they're like us in being part of the ecology, but there's also limits to my tolerance. Went looking for that red dragon I had met when I first arrived there and it took a few months because seems a REALLY big black dragon not only kicked his butt, but also took all his gold along with keepsakes like swords, armor, etc. This was a couple hundred of years worth of collecting, so saying he was bummed out is putting it mildly. And of course, with no loot, how was he going to get a red lady dragon interested in him? I found his new hidey hole (a cave naturally) and called out to him while hiding behind some rocks. Right off the bat he knew who I was and asked for me to come out and show myself. I said no problem.....as long as I have your word you will not harm me or allow myself to be harmed in any way while I am here. You see, one of the things I learned from the yellow & green dragons was their word was everything to them and it didn't matter what color you were either. They have a word for it and closest I can come to it is honor dignity respect and it's said as one word. So when I used that word, that gave Big Red pause before saying I had it. Told him I had a problem with the red & black dragons and if things didn't change, no doubt people would start hunting them down and killing them. He sniffed at that, saying people have tried for centuries to do this without success. I said remember me, the new sheriff in town? Got a lot of my people here now and because we think and do things differently, it may take some time and a number of lives, but we humans can kill every bad dragon if need be. Not that we want to of course. Of course, the red & blacks considered the yellow & greens to be a bunch of goody two shooers. Well, that black dragon became the poster boy for other dragons on what happens when you pi$$ me off....I dropped a few tons of glacier ice on his head. Got them from a frozen, snow and ice covered world. Big Red got his loot back, plus 25% of the blacks loot for helping me in introducing me to the other black & red dragons. It took some time for me to talk with those 2 kinds, but eventually they saw things my way. Those that didn't..... Think more than anything else was those 2 colors understanding doing business with humans, elves, etc. was actually more profitable than living like they had been. The other was getting people to live near them and having baby dragons live with those people. How can you fear/hate someone who's living next to you, but also taking care of your kids? With my time jumping, I'd drop in every 20 years or so to find out what was going on and deal with any problem that had come up. While I couldn't change what happened in the past, I could deal with it then. Dragons became not only couriers, but lawmen and businessmen. I met a bunch of magic users and established a council of magi with a set of rules. Once again, there were some trouble makers, but when they disappeared, problem solved. There was a bunch of lawlessness by humans, such as groups of bandits/pirates, but with dragons patrolling everywhere, they'd deal with them, usually harshly. Any loot they found was theirs provided the former owner(s) couldn't be identified. When loot was identified, they were paid for its value. Suddenly, various kings, queens, etc. wanted dragons around them because even though they cost a lot, they were cheaper than any army AND they didn't have to worry about getting new recruits, training/quartering/ paying them, etc. And remember Mama Chiun and me flying over San Francisco in that paper dragon? Well, the me of the past is with Mothers people, so every year, I'd talk with one of the green dragons and we'd really give everyone a show. But instead of flames like that first time, they'd spew flowers with the crowd going wild because it was like Mardi Gras with those on the floats tossing free plastic jewelry to the on lookers. And believe me, once the first green dragon told the others what we had done, I suddenly had a large waiting list for my next trip along with the yellows. And yes, magic does exist here, but it seems everyone's gone to believing in science only. If you're wondering how I took these photos, camera's using film or digital cameras wouldn't work....but those using a glass plate as a negative did. Simple matter for me to jump and get the cameras I used during the War Between The States.
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Post by willc453 on Jun 16, 2017 18:46:45 GMT -6
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Post by willc453 on Jun 16, 2017 18:47:39 GMT -6
A few others.... Attachments:
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Post by gipsy on Jun 22, 2017 11:42:56 GMT -6
More Ben adventures please
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Post by willc453 on Jul 9, 2017 18:49:50 GMT -6
The Affected: Tale of Two Brothers Chapter 38 Some may heard of, or remember about the great Chicago fire back in 1871. I can tell you for a fact, that I did NOT start the d*mn thing. I mean, I may have been inadvertently involved, but that's about the extent of it. First of all, it wasn't Mrs. O'Leary's cow kicking over a lantern in her barn that started it all. It was.....oops, getting ahead of myself here. Decided to spend some time in Chicago and it was a kind of wild and open town, with a lot of Irish living there and in NYC. Which is where I met Aoibheann O'Toole and in case you don't know, her name means radiant beauty in Gaelic. And that she was, with her long red hair, green eyes, with an hour glass figure with it being MUCH bigger at the top than the bottom if you know what I mean. And a temper to go with that red hair. Add her Irish way of speaking and this bee wanted to spend some time with this flower of young womanhood. Now I happened to see her at one of the city parks where she was giving the brushoff to a guy who wasn't going to take no for an answer. (cue Underdog them song here please, maestro) Well, it didn't work out as I planned.....she turned around to face the guy and said something VERY dirty and nasty in Gaelic, hitting the guy in the jaw with her purse! He went down like a cow in a slaughter house hit between the eyes with a 10 pound sledge hammer. Yeah, she had about 1/4 pound of loose bits of lead in a leather pouch in her purse. She saw me coming and I said to her, I THOUGHT I was going to rescue a fair damsel in distress, but if I'm ever needing help, I know who to call for. And besides, I'm kind of surprised a young lady such as yourself would even know such language... and she called me something even nastier than what she had told the knocked out guy! Then said I had the look and sound of an Englishman?! Son of a b*tch....now she's getting really personal. Oh yeah, this bee definitely wanted this flower. So I called her a not so nasty name in Gaelic, followed by another. She turned around and said me knowing just a few Gaelic words didn't make me Irish, which proved her point of me being an Englishman or some time having left there, turned and left. But I was in hot pursuit and in Gaelic, I spoke the poem I Will Climb No More, though I changed the word Indies to America: I will climb no more To the wilds of the moorlands; I will climb no more. I received a letter from Edinburgh saying I must not go to the moorlands. Often I killed the deer in the high mountains, In the glens with thickest cover. I'll be leaving this country now; I can no longer find peace here. I'll be leaving for the Indies To try and make myself a fortune. THAT stopped her in her tracks and of course, having spent some time in Ireland.... However, being a woman, she was curious how I knew Gaelic and told her I was a scholar and had traveled quite a bit. Of course, she wanted to know what towns I had been to/living in and I told her a couple of 'em that as far as I knew, still existed. I mean, cr*p, the last time I had been there (Ireland) was about 300 or so years ago. But she caught me on one of 'em, saying the English had wiped out that town for its rebellious ways almost 200 years ago. Reminded her that I was a scholar and was always looking for knowledge on how people lived even if they had died long ago. That seemed to have satisfied her, which made me a bit more careful because there was a very good brain under all that beauty. Of course, being a woman, every man knows they're always so suspicious, not to mention sneaky. She worked for a couple as their nanny, taking care of their kids and was on her way to work and of course, wanted to know what my intentions were. I told her that some people might say they're dishonorable, but when we parted, she would only have 2 regrets and didn't say anything else. OF COURSE she wanted to know what they were (cats & womens curiosity you know) and told her she'd always regret that we didn't meet sooner and that I didn't stay longer. While THAT got me a face slap, I said I noticed she didn't hit me with her purse which got her madder, but of course, I made sure I was out of purse hitting range....and she started chasing me, calling me all sorts of bad and nasty names! Of course, she wasn't about to catch me and quit when I started calling for help, saying this desperate woman was chasing me, wanting to make me into her husband! That got a lot of laughs from everyone and this is when Aoibheann stopped chasing me and went to work, telling me I was a nasty, egotistical, etc. kind of fellow. I called out to her that she was even more dathuil (good looking/a pleasure to the eyes) when she was angry, along with other plamas (flattery) so I let her walk away....not. All I had to do was make some jumps to various roof tops to see where she was headed of course. Well, she was late getting off work and I was waiting for her a few blocks away. Thing is, there were 5 guys waiting who started walking towards her and was thinking that guy who got his jaw busted got some of his buddies to..... So I put myself between her and them, saying you boys don't want to go down this path. Aoibheann started backing up, especially when the largest said they were going to teach this Irish b*tch some manners and as for me.....which was when they pulled out some knives and clubs from their clothing. Told Aoibheann (in Gaelic) to back into the alley and she wasn't going to do it, but said she was going to scream for help. Of course, there were no cops around/in sight. Told her I WANTED these guys in the alleyway and besides, there was an exit at the other end of the alley. Having been mugged once, I ALWAYS check out the surrounding area for entrances/escape routes. Well, these guys thought us going into an alley was a great idea, so of course, they quickly followed us. Told 'em right up front, there's 5 of you and only 1 of me.....do you really think that's fair? Was told I should of minded my own business, but if I wanted to run away like a beat cur (meaning dog), they'd let me go. Said they misunderstood me.....there was ONLY 5 of them and they laughed at this until I said it wouldn't help them if there was 50, though 500 might slow me down. They thought I was crazy and said so, then rushed at me with Aoibheann beating feet for the other end of the alley. Since she was running away, no problem jumping my bata (later known as a shillelagh) into my hands and made quick work of 'em. I, of course, releaved of their weapons and money. The weapons was so they wouldn't get into any more trouble (later sold as antiques for a profit) and as for their money; it was the price of learning whom NOT to start a fight with. I had no sooner done this when FOUR more guys come running down the alley towards me! But then Aoibheann called out to them and of course, they were her brothers who had come to walk her home. Well, she/they accepted my offer to escort her home, but then it was said I had to meet her family?! WTF?! In case you don't understand, while I enjoy sex all the time, there's a lot of pleasure/anticipation in the chase, with the harder/longer chase, the payoff so to speak, being so more enjoyable. Now when you're meeting a girls family, it always helps to give a good impression by bringing something to give to the parents, so asked if we could stop at a store for something which they agreed to. I, of course, simply stepped into the store and jumped to one of my stashes, picking up a couple of things, then jumped right back into the store a second or two later. Her father got what he thought were 2 bottles of whiskey and was surprised I poured very little into their glasses from 1 bottle, but I told him this was not whiskey, but angels sweat, something he had never heard of before. Oh yeah, they were shocked at the taste and for those that don't know what angels sweat is, let me explain. While whiskey is aged in oak barrels, the oak does absorb some of the whiskey and by a special process, you're able to get that whiskey out of the barrel and with my abilities, able to make THE best whiskey and let it sit for a couple of hundred years. None of this Johnny be quick in having it only age 20 years or so. Her father declared that this stuff would only be drank on Christmas and New Years day. The other bottle was just over a hundred years old and they liked it. Only fly in the ointment was Aoibheann's youngest sister (Aileen, 7 years old) who said I was old and the family laughed at this, saying I was in my 30's and in prime of my life. Thing is, she just looked at me and I think she knew what she was saying/observing. Found out later she was born with a caul over her face and it's believed it brings good luck....or the ability to see things as they are or able to see the future. Their moms sister had married a Scotsman and used to tell the kids when they were young, Scottish tales. Anyway, VERY rarely do I come across people like this, but when I do, I take an interest in them and their offspring if they have any. It took a few months, but finally the day arrived when the chase was over and it was time for a full course meal so to speak. Aoibheann had NO regrets in giving up her “pearl of great virtue” as some called it back in the day and afterwards, she looked forward to our meetings. With me being a scholar, she learned about Kama Sutra and a few other things with her being a VERY eager and wanting to learn more student. Of course, she expected to get pregnant and when that happened, we'd be married, not that either happened. I'm sure you're thinking nice story, but what does all of this have to do with the Chicago fire? Well, the last time we were together, the rendezvous was at Mrs. O'Leary's barn. After resting a bit, she asked when I was leaving and we both knew what she meant. Told her as I walked her home. One thing about the girl, she didn't try crying and said I was right....that she'd always regret that we never met sooner and that I was leaving. Walked her home and as soon as I could, kind of like Clark Kent looking for a phone booth to change, found me a quiet spot and jumped to see new worlds & find new adventures. Well, when I jumped back to this planet, was in New York City just a few days after I had left Aoibheann. (time travel, remember?) This is when I read the newspapers to find out about the fire in Chicago on the same day I had left Aoibheann! Along with that news/rumors was it might of started in Mrs. O'Leary's barn due to a cow kicking over a lantern. It's estimated 300 people died in the fire. What happened to Aoibheann and her family? I had to find out. Jumped back to Chicago, making my way to their apartment and if you're wondering about them, they're NOTHING like apartments of today, but MAYBE just a little better than what V saw when I took her on that little time trip. Their place and for blocks around was burned to the ground nor could I find anyone that even lived in the apartment building. That wasn't good enough for me. I wanted to know how did the fire start, what direction did it take in spreading and how long did it take to burn this area of Chicago down? This took me some time in finding out what had happened. First find out where the fire started, not that I would stop it, because that meant changing history. By time jumping, worked my way to where the fire started. Then wanted to find out how the fire started and spread so quickly. The reason it spread so quick was because the building and fire codes at the time simply weren't enforced....and if there were attempts of enforcing the codes, just like Chicago of today, a little grease here and there keeps the squeaking wheel quiet. Well, the fire started outside of Mrs. O'Leary's barn, but what caused it? How about a broken whiskey bottle which acted as a magnifying glass for the suns rays? It had been hotter than hell for quite a period and everything was tinder dry and people afterwards were surprised that something like this hadn't happened much sooner. Well, out of curiosity, I wanted to find out who had tossed the bottle. So did a little bit more jumping back in time and from my position on a roof top, found myself looking at where the bottle was going to be tossed AND seeing myself/Aoibheann leaving Mrs. O'Leary's barn. About 5 minutes or so later, out walks a man from the barn?! Now this really bothered me because the man never entered the barn from the door we left from. I had rigged the doors so they were locked with a wooden peg on the inside of the doors....you know, so we would have at least SOME warning someone wanted inside the barn. More time jumping to take a look at the other barn door and NO ONE entered thru it?! So how did this guy just come from inside the barn with that door being locked? Could this be some Affected with the ability to travel thru time? MORE jumping back in time, but this time I planted a bunch of grain of rice 3D cameras in the barn. Wasn't worried about them being discovered because the barn did burn down AND they have timers on them so when the time is up, they simply burn out, though without being able to cause a fire. Nothing seen from the ground floor, so planted more (more time jumping) in the hayloft area, because I was running out of ideas of how this guy got out of there other than being a time jumping Affected. What worried me was he trying to follow me and if so, why? Having been mugged once, I do NOT like unexpected surprises. I skipped the part where me and Aoibheann were together and just afterwards, saw a shadow move that shouldn't of been moving. More time jumping and this time, I really covered the area with 3D cameras. It was that drunken pervert, Niall O'Shaunnessy who started the fire. I had forgotten about the small loft area that was above the 2nd floor where the hay was stored. This loft area was where Mrs. O'Leary kept stuff she didn't want to throw away, but also rarely used. I had checked it out ahead of time when we started being together if you know what I mean and never gave it a thought afterwards. Find out that Niall had crawled up there to sleep off his binge and woke up to seeing and hearing us the 2nd time we were together. We pretty much had a set schedule when we were to meet, so he got quite an eye/ear full....and would be there before we arrived each time. I mean, I checked out the place BEFORE we started anything, but never thought of checking that little loft after the first time. After we left, see him climbing down from the loft and picking up MY whiskey bottle! This was a small bottle, with the whiskey aged only 50 years. Aoibheann liked a nip or two and I didn't mind joining her because she didn't want to drink alone. Which is kind of funny in a way because alcohol doesn't really affect me. With my being Affected that 2nd time, my metabolism gets rid of it pretty quick, so USUALLY I have no hangover no matter how much I drink. Which is why one time I made a bet with a team of 28 professional cheerleaders that I could drink an entire full size keg of beer, BUT each one of them would have to spend 24 hours with me should I win and of course, they THOUGHT what that would mean. They knew nothing about ganja and my time jumping ability. And yes, I did finish that keg, though the mens bathroom was pretty crowded with some of the cheerleaders (and guys looking at the cheerleaders) making sure I didn't throw up which was the one rule they insisted on. If I lost, I'd make a big donation to what ever charity each of them wanted. They didn't think I had that kind of money, but while here in this time frame, I always carry a bunch of prepaid debit cards and had them chose what ever card they wanted and having them check the balance on an atm machine. So I'd drink until I had to p**, then off to the bathroom with my encore and then back to the keg. When I finished the keg, of course, no one followed me to the bathroom while everyone just kind of stood there in stunned silence, followed by loud cheering by the guys. The girls.....well, they were kind of slack jawed. I, of course, once in the bathroom, jumped to let my body heal itself which took a little bit of time. Then jumped a minute after I had originally left back into the bathroom. Now I won't mention the teams name, but they're from the Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas area. So that little bit of whiskey I had with Aoibheann never affected me. When we left the barn, I simply forgot to take the bottle, which Niall found and started drinking. He didn't get too far because it was not the usual rot gut whiskey he drank, so he sat down in an out of the way place to finish the bottle and have a smoke. Afterwards, he tossed the empty bottle & stub of his cigarette off to one side and now you know how the Chicago fire started. With that over, now it was time to find Aoibheann and family. Thing is, I just couldn't show up at her place right after we parted, saying Chicago was going to burn down because she/they would think I was crazy and this would change history wouldn't it or maybe they had fled when the fire got near them? So jumping back in time, watched from a near by roof top their apartment. When the fire got REALLY close, see everyone running from the apartment complex including Aoibheann and her family. Then saw myself running towards them, speak with them for a moment, giving something to Aoibheann's father and I rush into the apartment complex while they ran down the street, away from the rapidly approaching fire. I knew what I had to do, by jumping back in time to appear in a nearby alley, then running for Aoibheann's apartment complex. Aoibheann was so happy to see me and I told her father and rest of her family they had to head for the river because there was no doubt this entire area was going to soon be engulfed in flames. Thing is, her grand-mother was crying about losing their possessions from the old country. Now these weren't just just possessions like tables, chairs, etc. but family heirlooms that had been passed down for a few generations. Her father said it couldn't be helped, better to flee and live than trying to save such things and they took off as fast as they could carry her grandmother to the river along with what few small things they could carry. Remember me and the Russian ladies so long ago and how the one grandmother carried on about having to leave her piano behind? Yeah, I'm a sucker for crying grandmothers. That's when I took off for their apartment to save what I could, which was actually everything. Like I wrote before, Speedy might be fast, but I'm REALLY fast and when I got done, EVERYTHING but the kitchen sink so to speak was taken. Thing is, hadn't thought of telling them WHERE to go other than the river which later caused me problems. Now even with me time traveling/jumping with their possessions, it took me some time to not only take everything, also wanted to make sure everyone in the apartment complex had left, which of course, not everyone had. I banged on doors and well, just to make sure everyone had left, used my Merlins staff to blow the doors in when no one answered my knock or refused to answer my knocking on the door. Scared the hell out of those few that remained. In case you didn't know, doors back then were well made and of good wood, so there's none of this let's simply kick the door in like they show on those tv shows all the time. THAT got the few remaining disbelievers to leave with what few possessions they could carry. Now I could of jumped to Aoibheann to be with her and her family, but that was something I didn't want to do as it would bring up a lot of questions from them such as what happened to the things granny was crying about losing that I said I would try saving. It didn't quite work out that way. EVERY time there's some sort of disaster, there's scumbags looking for an opportunity to profit from it at the expense of others. With the roads and alleys being like they were (think of the Minatours maze which is another story to tell another time); it took me some time to actually find them as there were a lot of roads and alleys to check out. Problem was, her father and brothers were knocked out cold after being jumped by about 2 dozen thugs in an alley. Granny and Aileen were on their knees while these thugs pawed thru what few possessions they had. I appeared not far from them and was running towards them, but then heard Aoibheann scream. Yeah, you know what was coming next....I jumped to Aoibheann, d*mn the consequences. Two guys were holding her down, while 3 more were busy removing the rest of her clothing while another was ready to.... No one expected me to suddenly appear like this, but they reacted quick enough with 3 pulling pistols and shooting me in the chest! To say I was wearing something like kevlar is like comparing Huck Finn's raft to the Queen Mary. I snapped the necks of those 3 with no problem and when the other 3 saw this, they took to calling for help from the rest of the thugs who came running. And that's the bad thing about running together in a pack. Mess with one, you mess with all of them, which in this case, it did NOT bode well for them. Jumped a staff into my hands and a couple of 'em I flamed to where one moment they were running towards me, next they were a pile of ashes. Another became a bloody smear of flesh and blood against a buildings wall. Now THAT really set them off in attempting to flee, cry out that Satan himself was here. Then froze two more and decided this wasn't enough. Remember how I dealt with the Congressmen/Senators shortly after I was Affected? I used what I'll just call a sleep ray from the staff knowing they wouldn't wake up in time to flee before the fire put everything to flames in this area. Aoibheann was coming out of shock, so helped her to where Granny and Aileen were trying to wake up the men and partially succeeding. I jumped a small bottle of angels sweat to me and one sip to each of 'em brought them around pretty quick. Aoibheann got my jacket to cover herself somewhat and we hurried to the river and safety. I got us onto a ship which drifted us into the middle of the river and if you're wondering, the ships captain didn't charge anyone because he could see the fire racing thru out Chicago and simply wanted to save as many lives as possible. Afterwards, made sure he was well rewarded for his good Samaritan deed. Now I had given Aiobheanns father some money to help them after the fire, but while on the ship, got to thinking about that when he tried returning it. He thought the fire wouldn't spread like it did. We got to talking and up shot was they were going to move to the mid west where by an amazing co-incidence, I had some good farm land out there, but hadn't been working it. Always made sure that piece of land and other land I owned always were properly documented and of course, would improve it from time to time to prevent any squatters/ranchers trying to use it. Remember, back then there was no property taxes on places like farms. Remember how DW and I got to helping Native Americans break free of their former life styles? Been doing that for a lot of people for a VERY long time. Anyway, got it set up so they worked the land and paid me back for its current value. We ended up on the other side of the river and they headed for a hotel to stay in until they could catch the next train west while also buying clothing. They said they needed a lot of things and couldn't just head west. Told them to check in with the general store owner in the area, give her my name and not only get what you need, but also later on, what you want. Of course, all of this went on the bill of what they owed me. Oh boy.... did you know that little sisters/brothers can be such a major pain in the a$$ at times? As I turned to leave this is when Aileen said it's him....it's him, pointing at me. The others asked what was she talking about and she said I was den scoth (magical) of fado (what was before or starting a story with once upon a time) from the stories her aunt used to tell. Then she started telling the fairy tale(?!) of a man who appeared in Scotland in a dress, saved a young maid for the clutches of Roman soldiers, etc.!? Of course, everyone said that was nothing more than a fairy tale and while I was a very special kind of man in helping them and others like I did, there was nothing “magical” about me and just a man like everyone else. I said thank you and may you slan (go in safety) and sona (may fortune smile on you), turning to leave, heading back for New York for a couple more days. This is when Aoibheann said wait.....I SAW YOU SHOT IN THE CHEST SEVERAL TIMES by those maistin (thugs)! Dead silence from everyone except Aileen of course, repeating about me being magical, etc. Keeping my back to them, said they must of missed because other wise I'd be dead, right? Went to keep on walking, but then she grabbed me and turned me around, saying look, I'll show everyone the bullet holes. Of course, with my “Kevlar” clothing there weren't any, but there were burn marks from bullets/powder. I said, come on, shouldn't there be bullet holes in my clothing and think about the amount of burning embers flying everywhere. Her Father and Mother told me they were sorry Aoibheann and Aileen were acting this way; that she must be a bit addled from what's happened and I said no problem, turning to leave again. Then she asks what happened to my bata? You entered the alley way with bare hands when we first met, next thing I see you using it, then it was gone. Then there were those others in the alley that I'm starting to remember about. Godd*mn, I told you that woman was smart. This is when Aoibheann said remember what you said about never lying to me.....are you Him? I said him who? Her: The one we've heard tales of. I said why would you think I'm this guy Aileen's talking about, I mean that was centuries ago. Her: listen to him....he's yet to give me a straight yes or no.....and it's said that HE could frustrate and deceive Diabhal (Satan) himself. Her parents said enough, let the man go with me saying thank you and trying to leave a third time. But Aoibheann wouldn't be denied, asking if I was Him, yes or no and if I said anything but yes or no, she would take it as a lie and therefor I was nothing better than an Englishman! I never minded giving my word like I've done before, but never suspected it would/could be used like this against me. Yeah, I could of lied, but......so I turned to face them and said yes. Stunned silence, soon followed by them saying I couldn't be him, it was impossible. Remember how I've repeatedly said women are sneaky? This is when Aoibheann said I had to summon my bata as anyone could say they were Him. Well, screw it....let's do it full monty style. Told her family that my word was only to Aoibheann and that the others were to turn their backs to us, which they did. I've written about the various museums/personal collections I've got going and of my secret hideouts. When I was a kid, I remember Superman having his Fortress of Solitude and there are times I just pretty much want to be alone. Because I don't feel this way very often, all that's there are 3 mechanical Laura's and they know better than to bother me until I let them know it's okay. With cameras and other security measures, they know where I'm at and make sure they simply stay out of sight. In a sealed room, by itself, are the clothes and weapons I had when I met Carstine in Scotland which are in a sealed “glass” case along with a few things she made for me. It was a good/bad thing being there. Good in the number of memories that it brought back, bad in knowing she's been dead for centuries and because of my 2nd ability, I am utterly and truly alone. Last thing I'd want is to find another like her, only to watch her die of old age. Spent only 2 days “talking” to her, then couldn't stand it any more, so said farewell and jumped back to Aoibheann. While I was “with” Carstine, had Laura's make a copy of my clothing, but took my weapons and bata, along with wearing a long haired wig. When I appeared before her, she was asking where did he go, where did h...then she saw me as I was dressed when I first saw Carstine....and all she did was just stand there with her jaw wide open along with her family because as soon as they heard her asking where did I go, they naturally turned around thinking I had some how left....though NOT in any manner they could of ever dreamed of. Oh boy....talk about shock and awe. Of course, Aileen kept saying and repeating I told you so, I told you so. Of course, being Irish, they believed in magic, the little people (leprechauns), elves, etc. And yes, they do exist on this planet though there's not as many as there used to be. So much iron around you know. But when I'm near their places, I always leave bowls of milk, fresh bread and honey for them. Her father and brothers wanted to know more about my weapons, so I explained to them what and how they were used in Japan. They couldn't believe a skinny sword like mine could be so sharp, so jumped a silk piece of cloth into my hands and asked them to try and pull it apart, with them being unable to do so. Told everyone to stand back, then jumped 2 apples and 2 oranges to me. Then had her father and brothers toss everything into the air towards me and it was no problem for me to slice everything in half before the piece of silk and fruit hit the ground. Asked that they never tell anyone about me other than telling the tale about a man in a dress being in Scotland so long ago, which they agreed to. Aoibheann now understood why I was leaving her. What surprised me was her grandmother offering me her shawl which her grandmother had made for her when she was just a “wee bit of a babe”. I accepted it and it rests in a “glass” case with other things I've been given thru time by people, then jumped to go back to New York City. Aiobheann's family moved out west and of course, two days after they arrived at their new home, they were notified by the railroad they had a lot of boxes waiting for them at the train depot. And finding themselves with all their possessions they thought they had lost in the fire. As I wrote earlier, I try to keep track of people like Aileen. Her family got older and of course, the kids got married, had kids, who had kids and so on. Thing is, they'd find/start their own places, with some eventually moving much further west to other states. I kept track of Eileen for reasons I mentioned earlier, along with Aoibheann but nothing came up as far as unusual children. But to be more thorough, decided to have her brothers kids checked out too. Bingo. One o Aoibheann's g,g,g, etc. grand nieces happened to be on an flight when she was Affected. Yeah, it was DW. The other odd thing about it was one of Aileen's g,g,g, etc. granddaughters. Remember Kassie, that little snot who when we first met, said liar, liar, pants on fire when I tried meeting DW in the beginning? That was her g,g,g. etc. granddaughter.
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Post by willc453 on Jul 9, 2017 18:52:26 GMT -6
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Post by willc453 on Jul 9, 2017 18:52:42 GMT -6
Chicago fire aftermath
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Post by kaijafon on Jul 9, 2017 20:24:13 GMT -6
"It's gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight"
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Post by willc453 on Jul 10, 2017 19:34:12 GMT -6
"It's gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight" And of course, gotta have hot dogs & marshmallows.
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Post by kaijafon on Jul 10, 2017 19:59:45 GMT -6
absolutely!
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Post by 9idrr on Jul 10, 2017 21:01:14 GMT -6
This was well worth the wait.
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Post by gipsy on Jul 11, 2017 15:32:53 GMT -6
This was well worth the wait. I have to agree
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Post by willc453 on Aug 10, 2017 20:24:04 GMT -6
So there you are.....your family is deep in the woods, enjoying the outdoors, maybe doing some fishing too. It's time to tell scary stories of course. Like how the story of Goldilocks & the 3 bears is based on a TRUE story that happened around here, but it was cleaned up and changed by a bunch of goody two shooers. Goldilocks went walking thru these same very woods when she came to the home of Papa, Momma & Baby bear. She didn't knock, call out or nuthin' but just walked right into their home like she owned it and started rummaging thru their possession until she found their stash of honey they had stored for winter time. Now Goldilocks wasn't a prepper, but when she went into the woods for her early morning walks, she knew to take some things with her, including her favorite breakfast food, porridge. She soon had it cooked in her pot, but realized she had forgotten to bring a jar of honey because using sugar was an unhealthy lifestyle. Then she remembered the bears honey and she was sure they wouldn't mine if she used some. Problem was, she not only used it all up, but even licked every honeycomb for every drop of honey! Well, she was very tired after stuffing her face like a political hog in a money trough with porridge & honey and decided to take a nap instead of going right home. After all, the 3 bears had 3 nice and comfortable looking beds to chose to sleep on. Since winter lasts a long time, the bears made sure they had lots of tree limbs covered with a thick amount of moss on top of the tree limbs. Goldilocks thought Papa bears bed was too hard, Mama's bed was too soft, but Baby Bears bed would be just right with a few adjustments, so after making her adjustments, she climbed on top of it and passed out with thoughts of Justin Bieber crooning to her in her dreams. When Papa, Momma & Baby bear came home, they got quite a shock in finding someone had trashed their place while they were out looking for more food so they could sleep during winter time instead of having to use any of their stored honey. But to find out that their honey was gone, put them in a VERY bad mood, especially since Baby Bear really liked honey. Then they find Goldilocks not only sleeping in Baby bears bed, but she had also trashed Papa & Momma Bears beds for the additional moss padding. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE roars Papa Bear which of course, not only wakes Goldilocks up but put her in a VERY disagreeable mood because Justin was just about to not only kiss her, but ask her hand in marriage. Goldilocks says stop growlin' will ya and HOW DARE you mean wake me up so rudely? Papa bear says this is our home and HOW DARE you break into it, trash our belongings AND eat all our honey we stored for winter? Goldilocks says you're REALLY going to call this filthy hovel home and starts laughing, which upset Momma bear because she took pride in their home such as it was and starts crying. Goldilocks then says there was no no trespassing sign outside AND you don't have a door to this dump. Papa bear tells Goldilocks she's going not only clean up their place, she's also going to replace twice as much honey as she ate AND apologize to Momma bear for what she said about their place. Goldilocks keeps laughing, saying you forget who I am. I'm human and higher on the food chain than you and I don't have to do anything you say at which point, with the place being like it now was, honey gone AND Momma bear crying, Papa bear says enough and goes to slap her to shut her up. Thing is, Papa bears paw was bigger than Goldilocks head and all he meant to do was slap her alongside her head. Instead, it was ripped completely off! It bounced against the wall, then against the porridge pot which made a ding, ding, ding sound as it rolled along the floor. Momma bear says thank you dear, but what are we going to do with her body at which point Baby bear says remember the dinging sound made by the pot when the Goldilocks head hit it? Papa/Momma bear say yes and that's when Baby bear says it sounds like the sounds humans make when food is ready to eat. The 3 of them looked at each other and ate Goldilocks right then and there with a side order of Goldilocks uneaten bit of porridge. Afterwards, while they were using a couple of Goldilocks rib bones as toothpicks, Papa/Momma bear commented while Goldilocks didn't have good taste, she tasted good and wondered if other human children tasted as well. They didn't get a chance to find out, but they were able to kill not only Bambi, Thumper & Flower but a lot of their friends so they were set for the winter hibernation after cleaning up their place even if they didn't have a stash of honey for Baby bear. When they woke up, they were of course, VERY hungry and went looking for food which happened to be a couple of (insert age here) year olds out in the woods. Well, Baby bear grew up and met a girl grizzly bear and they had cubs which of course, had a fondness for children, especially when it got near winter time. (Honey isn't around just anywhere and those bees don't like sharing their bounty you know. So while DH or DW is listening to this story, he/she will be off to one side to break a tree branch at which time the story teller says IS THAT A GRIZZLY BEAR STEPPING ON A TREE BRANCH while looking around wildly. This is when you draw an outline of a grizzly bear paws for the kids to look at. At the end of this story, the kids will want flashlights because you told them grizzly bears are afraid of lights at night. Of course, not all the flashlights may work properly because of old batteries or batteries were put in wrong. (gee, what a surprise) Kids go to bed with flashlights in hands and when they finally go to sleep, this is when you put these boots on and tramp all around your camp while making grunting noises from time to time. Ben, the most evil, decadent (but ever so truthful story teller) Affected person who's ever lived.
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Post by willc453 on Aug 24, 2017 8:13:56 GMT -6
The Affected: Tale of Two Brothers Chapter 39 Thought I had covered my history of being a school teacher, but apparently some want more. As to becoming a school teacher, started doing that after The War Between The States along with being a lawman and a few other experiences. Thing is, a lot of people think some Constitutional amendments are outdated, like the 2nd and don't apply in this “modern age”. If that's true, then so is the first as the founding fathers had no idea about radio, internet, etc. The founding fathers would of never believed that so many people could be so stupid as in believing people don't have the right to defend themselves with ANY weapon, especially a gun, because they made sure that THE PEOPLE could form militias on their own in case there was another tyrannical government which would ignore the will and needs of the people like King George and his “counselors” did. I know, I was there. And believe me, people have tried ignoring amendments they find offensive or outdated....like music they don't like. Which some people tried banning back in the mid 1950's in Santa Cruz, California along with others in other states. Yeah, yeah....I can already hear some people saying this would NEVER happen in California because they're so liberal. Not so back then. Sigh...let me back up story and time wise how I became a school teacher to save time and before people start asking even more questions about this. After The War Between The States, was about a hundred miles or so from Leadville, Colorado where there was a silver strike. It's easier for me to just jump somewhere and go from there, but this time decided to take a stagecoach ride. What a PITA in more ways than one. How about basically NO suspension on them? You had leather straps under the coach, with passengers being swaying left/right instead of up/down. More than once people would be banging into each other because of the “road” being used. Then you had to worry about bandits/roaming Indians looking for quick money/coup/ guns, etc. Seats were covered in cattle hide, filled with feathers....and there was weren't enough feathers in my opinion. And let's talk about crowding....how about up to NINE people inside the coach, with up to 12 on top of it?! When people complain about airline seating of today, they simply have NO idea what it's really like to be packed in/on a stagecoach like sardines. It was so tight inside that you'd have to go outside to change your mind. You probably didn't know this, but there were 3 classes for stagecoach fare. First class was $7 and up, though price varied depending where you were at and going to. Second class passengers had to walk at bad places on the road....and there were a lot of 'em. Third class had to do the same as 2nd class, but they also had to get out and push at all hills....and again, LOTS of hills out west. And these things weren't cheap either, costing $1,200 to $1,500 and weighed more than 2,000 pounds. Average speed was 8mph...think of a trip doing that for a couple of hundred miles, or even a thousand miles. Which is why people were so happy when trains actually connected the east & west coasts of the U.S. The last stagecoach was produced by the Abbott-Downing company back in 1919. Some may wonder why anyone would be taking a stagecoach that “late” in history with cars & trains being everywhere. No, they weren't. Cars were common, but expensive and of course, not a whole lot of them in towns off the beaten track so to speak. So you'd take the stagecoach to get to some town that could be up to 100 miles from the nearest train depot. Later on, got curious on how they were made, so went to the Abbot-Downing company who employed about 300 people at the height of their business. Strange thing was finding out they had a woman (Marie F. Putnam) working there for 30 years stitching leather seats and trim for EVERY stagecoach including those used by Wells Fargo & company. She was the ONLY woman working there. Remember, until recently time wise, women were expected to be wives & mothers and that was all. When we FINALLY arrived in town, my b*tt and other joints were ever so unhappy and let me know it. While this was a mining town (no longer in existence), at least they had a saloon/hotel where I could stay. Now the west back in those days was entirely different than what Hollyweird has it being. There weren't a lot of gun fights in the streets for one thing as people KNEW someone was going to die when guns get drawn. The other was there were a lot of War Between The States vets, with all of them having seen the elephant so to speak. But then, being a mining town, it was also a kind of rough town filled with tents and buildings going up everywhere and of course, everyone looking to get rich, quick. Gamblers, hookers, cowboys, miners, drifters, farmers; just a general hodge podge of people and skills. Now it had rained a bit and mud was every where and except for the 2 ladies on the stagecoach with us, everyone had to get out and push the d*mn thing out of the mud from time to time; so we were kind of messy clothing wise. I've only got 2 pet peeves: don't let me find you abusing a child or animal and in this case, a guy was whipping 6 horses that were trying to pull an over loaded wagon stuck in the mud. Called out to the man, saying if he'd unload the wagon a bit, I was sure the horses would be able to pull it out of the mud and there was no reason to abuse them for something they couldn't obviously pull. That I'd even help him unload and then load the goods back into the wagon once it was clear of the mud hole. Now I WAS dressed to the nines, at least according to the tailor in St. Louis at the time including a bowler hat, the kind that more than one Irish wore and a cane which of course, really wasn't a cane. Man tells me the only thing he hates more than a n*gger not knowing his place is some d*man bog trotting Mick. Have to laugh at blacks of today in America who complain how racist everyone is. Racism is not only a world wide thing, but what I call nationalism. You know what I mean....when someone comes from another country to make another country their new home. In the 1800's, more than once while in New York City for example, I heard people say if they have a choice of hiring a n*gger or an Irishman, hire the n*gger. And this was when he tried hitting me with his 18' long bullwhip. I literally jumped to one side to avoid being hit and about that time there was a roll of thunder and it gave me an idea. Told the man that mans judgment by God can be at any time and any place and he should turn from his evil ways of abusing animals that God Himself gave to make our lives better. Man tells me I was lucky in jumping back like I did, but if I came any closer, he wouldn't miss the second time and pulled back on his whip, ready to use it. So I ran right towards him and about this time, there was a large crack of thunder and I jumped the guy about a 6 inches and of course, he went thru the ng, ng, ng phase,. What I didn't expect was him falling off off the wagon to land between the legs of the first set of horses hitched to the wagon where he was promptly stomped to death. Gods judgment, right? The horses were scared and REALLY acting up, but with the little bit of telepathic ability I have acquired and working with the horse people, got them calmed down, then proceeded to unhitch them. What helped was me projecting images of a dry, clean stable with lots of hay, being groomed, etc. waiting for them. People were telling me I shouldn't release the horses like I was doing because no doubt they'd be running off in a heart beat. They kind of just stood there in shock as the horses simply followed me like a bunch of over sized puppies to what I considered a good stable. Paid the man, found out what a horse cost and left $300 on the wagon seat with a note that I bought them and if there was any questions about me buying them like this, said talk to God about it. Stayed at the hotel for a few days while taking a look around to see what kind of jobs there were available, not that I was going to do any kind of manual labor like mining, being a lumberjack, etc. The money for doing these kind of jobs was considered good for those days, but just not my thing. So I'd wander around looking the town over and of course, what happened to that guy got spread around....along with the horses following me like puppies. Of course, there was the time a couple of them tried following me inside the saloon and had to tell them no. At which time, those 3 turned around and went back outside much to the astonishment/amusement to the patrons that were there. The guy that who died had kin back east, so via telegraph, sent the money not only for the horses, but the 10 acres he had claimed to some woman who was related to him along with what had happened. And the guy had what would be called a rawhide set up. That is, where you use a lot of rawhide string to hold everything together. THAT wasn't going to make it for me. Now there's manual labor and MANUAL labor, the difference being working for yourself or somebody. I prefer to work for myself. It was more of a large shed, maybe 10' wide, 16' long. Roof leaked and as far as the walls go, they may as well not been there with the wind howling thru there so much of the time and he did his cooking outside. Sealed the walls inside and out with mud, new shingles for the roof and shortly afterwards of moving in there, a new wood burning stove was delivered. (I jumped back in time 3 months before arriving in town to order it) The lumber people didn't mind side work and they made me the wood needed for a windmill, so I could take a bath and the horses had water to drink. New stable made for them, though did have some trouble with them in the beginning about that. Needed trees to be cut down, which I did and could of jumped them to my new place, but at the time it just felt good doing something really physical. I gave an image of what needed to be done and the horses didn't like the idea of hauling heavy trees and gave me one back of them being in that stable eating hay, etc. I told 'em if they weren't careful, they'd get so fat their legs would touch the ground.....they not only liked that idea, wanted to know how to get there quick as possible! That is, until I showed them images of wolves sneaking up on 'em and eating them because of them being so fat, they couldn't run away or defend themselves. Besides, they'd get a new stable out of the deal along with a few apples. Yeah, I led a bunch of horses down a wicked path into slavery, etc. by jumping apples for them to eat when no one was around. Thing is, I HAD TO find a job because I had been spending money and the problem with that is some bad people might be thinking if he's got this kind of money to spend, where is it and how do we get it from him? And remember, the “Kevlar” that I wear DOESN'T protect my head....unless I'm wearing a robe with a hood on it of course. Anyway, ended up with doing several jobs. First one was at the stable as a blacksmith where the horses were staying until I had a place of my own. I'd worked and learned what it took to be a blacksmith by Thomas Davenport, George Vail and of course, Masamune among others. The owner/blacksmith had more jobs than he could handle and once he saw I knew which end of the hammer to hold, hired me on the spot. Of course, I only got paid half the going rate because the horses were being stabled there as part of the deal. But that didn't last long because when there was a horse giving people trouble in shoeing it for example, I got it. Put in a lot of 18+ hour days just trying to keep up with the demand. Drove the owner crazy in trying to figure out how I could continually put out so much work in a day. Of course, I'd jump else where, get some sleep, then be right back within a minute or two of my leaving. Did this for about a month until a couple more blacksmiths showed up. Then of course, had to work on my place. I tried eating at the hotel and it was AWFUL. The one thing I've learned about living so long is you have to keep mentally active. If you don't, you're brain dead and your body simply hasn't gotten the word. Mentioned how I went on one cattle drive, didn't I? Anyway, one of the things I've learned is being a cook/chef with me running a bunch of diners during the 30's, a cook on a couple of cattle drives and what would today be considered 5 star restaurants. And shocked more than one woman because I was so good at it. Anyway, happened to mention that the food was so bad, I'd rather starve than eat this slop that a pig or billy goat would refuse to eat....the “cook' happened to hear this and came after me with a cleaver. I broke both of his arms, which ticked off the owner because apparently, this guy was an “improvement” on the guy he replaced?! Ended up becoming a cook, then partner with the owner. Of course, we did have our disagreements, such as having fresh vegetables vs canned stuff when possible. Cooked a lot of different meat: elk, bear, buffalo, deer, sheep & cattle. Thanks to DW's/Coyotes generations of kids and others, learned a lot about what things growing in the wild you can use in cooking food. Of course, I also ordered a lot of spices that the owner screamed about in their costs. Thing is, he quit screaming about costs because of two things: we quadrupled our prices, but because of the quality of the meals, we had people waiting to get a table. Then of course, we built an addition to the original saloon so the former saloon became a restaurant only. Got so busy we hired 2 men and a woman as cooks, but I trained them so the quality remained high. And of course, started making whiskey which was a lot better than what they had been drinking along with importing some of the finer liquor which was shipped from back east. Yeah, money went out the door real fast, but once the word got around, the money came in even quicker. Was pretty busy during that spring and summer between being a blacksmith, cooking and of course, fixing up my own place. While I enjoy cooking, more than anything else it's seeing the expressions of satisfaction of people eating my meals. Now before we got really settled in, there were fights all the time in the saloon, sometimes with guns being used or knives drawn. I put a stop to that nonsense the second time guns got used. Came out screaming who's the stupid son of a b*tch that almost shot me in the head? Yeah, unlike the movies, when guns got drawn, EVERYONE hits the floor unwilling to be an innocent, but dead bystander. So while I'm in the kitchen prepping/cooking, would have no idea when a shooting was going to happen. Told everyone NO MORE guns would be allowed in the restaurant. That they'd get a ticket for their gun(s) when they came in and use it to get them back when they were done eating. Of course, some didn't like this idea, especially Big Mac who was 6' 4” tall and must of weighed 300 pounds. Tells me he's not giving his gun to anyone and there's nothing I can do about it because obviously, I'm not armed and if I give him any sass and flexed his arms. Now I had been doing my best in avoiding any kind of trouble, but when it comes..... Told Big Mac I could do this the easy or hard way and of course he says let's do it the hard way, someone give him a pistol. Some people tried to stop this, but of course but back then, a mans reputation was all he had. You could be dead broke, but if you were known, you could stop in a store and pick up some supplies just on your word you'd be paying the store keeper back at a later date. So I asked for and got someone's Colt .45., stuck it in my pants waist band and we had about 15 feet seperating us. Told Big Mac that I'm going to draw so fast you won't even see me draw. And in fact, I'll even give you an edge by holding my arm straight out in front of me, chest high with my pistol still in my pants. Big Mac says I'm dead meat, but he likes my gumption. I said on the count of three, we draw, okay? He says oh yeah, says 3, then goes to draw his pistol. I'd heard about Big Mac and figure that's what he'd do , so I simply jumped the pistol into my hand and it was cocked/ready to go just like that. Big Mac just kind of froze with part of his gun barrel still in his holster, turning kind of turned white faced while everyone else was talking about how they never seen me even move. I said okay, now drop your pistol so we can do it the hard way....with fists. Oh yeah, Big Mac REALLY liked the idea of duking it out with me. It didn't go as he thought it would, ESPECIALLY after he drew his Arkansas tooth pick. Told him right up front he should know one thing and when he asked what that was; told him it wasn't the size of the dog in a fight that matters, but the size of the fight in the dog and we went at it. The Shaolin priests, Bruce Lee and others I had trained with would have been proud of me because he never touched me. After the 4th time of being thrown and knocked unconscious once, that's when he pulled the knife. I called out for my cane which was tossed to me and ladies, that's when Big Mac learned if you want to dance, you have to pay for the music. Seems Big Mac wasn't a popular fellow in town simply because he was a bully and WAS thought to be good with a gun or knife. When I asked everyone if anyone else objected to leaving their guns in exchange for a ticket while in the restaurant/saloon, I had a whole bunch of people asking where to get a ticket. Had some guys haul him to an empty room and set his left broken leg & arm, along with broken collar bone and jaw. I only broke the left arm/leg because I knew he was right handed. Yeah, I'm such a softy at times. Anyway, since he couldn't work, he wasn't going to get paid, but made him a proposition. Said with him passing out tickets for guns, figured there would be less trouble, so that's what he did until he healed which took about a month before he was up and on his feet. During that time, he wanted to know I fought like I did and told him there wasn't enough time for him to learn, but I'd show him some basic stuff. BUT he had to take a bath on a regular basis and wear cleaner clothes....along with quit being a bully. And he did change, which became very apparent when the mine he and others were working in, collapsed. When this happens, ALL miners come running to help dig the trapped out, kind of like when a cop calls for help, suddenly there's cops all over the place. Had one of my horses take me to the collapsed mine and it wasn't good, with the main shaft collapsing maybe 30' or so. Some of the miners fled for their lives when they heard the earth groan, then a couple more came out, saying Big Mac had lifted up a main timber but didn't know how much longer he could hold it up. Then suddenly a large cloud of dust comes billowing out of the shaft and without hesitation, I jumped for Big Mac. Remember, if there's no room for me, I CAN'T jump to that person, but there was. Grabbed him and jumped us both just inside the mine entrance which still was spewing clouds of dust and jumped back to my place. Had to clean up and of course, jumped back in time to see the miners find Big Mac close to the entrance of the mine. Big Mac had enough of mining and came to me for a job as mining's all he's ever done which I did. So, when am I going to get to the school teacher part? How about now? During spring, summer and fall, kids back then were busy enough growing crops, raising animals, etc. to put on the table during winter which sometimes can last longer than normal. Remember back then, you stood on your own 2 feet or maybe a neighbor could help you which is why you helped them when they needed help. I got to town in late February and by mid September, happen to hear some ladies in my store wondering what they were going to do as she was suppose to have arrived several weeks ago. I asked and found out they had hired a school marm (as female teachers were known as back then) thru an ad in a newspaper back east, but she hadn't shown up. Well by now, had some time on my hands and asked just what did a teacher teach kids and told basically it was reading, writing, arithmetic, history, grammar and geography. Told the ladies I've been to college (them college girl cheerleaders you know), then started quoting Socrates (in Latin), one of Bills (William Shakespeare) plays, etc. I was hired until the lady teacher was to arrive and was to be paid $27 per month. HOWEVER, there was no school, but with the women getting on their men, a 2 story school house was built just outside of town. I'd of preferred to stay at my place even though it was 5 miles or so outside of town, but it ended up with Big Mac staying there with me and I certainly couldn't go jumping as I never knew if he was around or not. Of course, the town people had never heard of a school teacher living above the school....it was something entirely new to them because the way it normally worked was the teacher would spend a week at each students house which was called boarding round. The problem with that was some houses were well built and the food good. Others.....well how about entering your room only to find snow on the bed because the window wasn't sealed properly or the walls so poorly chinked that you wonder if you even had a wall to stop the wind? Kids that lived within 4-5 miles of school were expected to walk, others would ride their families horse into town. A school teacher back then, taught 1st thru 8th grade, with the 1st graders being called Abecedarians because they were learning their ABC's. Young ones sat up front, oldest in the back with them helping those who were having problems learning. School usually started at 9am, ending at some where between 2 and 4pm with an hour off for lunch/recess which was called nooning. School was only between 2 and 3 months long because they had to help plant/gather their crops along with taking care of livestock, etc. Of course, pencils hadn't been invented and ink and paper was considered too expensive for school use, so the kids used a slate and a piece of chalk along with having a large slate board that every one could see and use. After they had done their studying, each would stand in front of the class telling everyone what they had learned, with me correcting them with some of their pronunciations of words. And believe me, it got COLD during winter time. The school wasn't very big...... 24x30 feet and while I had a wood burning stove in the school, it really wasn't enough to keep the kids or me warm. That had to go. “Ordered” thru my store, TWO wood burning stoves after the first big snow storm hit....the stoves of course, got delivered amazingly fast. Made a few “modifications” to the stoves which helped things tremendously in the school and my living quarters upstairs. Like adding 300' of copper tubing below the floor support boards on 1st and 2nd floors, which went thru the interior bottom part of the stoves which was also connected to a water tank and it's own windmill. Which I paid for out of my own pocket. Mighty nice to take a warm bath in a BIG bathtub on a cold day. Of course, kids brought their own lunch back then and yes, they swapped food just like kids have always done. Kids brought their dinners from home in “berry pails” or baskets. Their mom may have packed hard boiled eggs, apples, pears, bread with meat or lard, corn bread, cheese or sausages. In the winter they might bring raw potatoes that I'd put in a big iron bucket on the hot stove. By lunch time the potatoes would be hot baked potatoes. Kids would carve their initials into their potato to identify it. Ended up buying a couple of milk cows because I like FRESH milk and of course, butter. Thing is, while the kids were nooning, I'd make my own meals and after seeing what the kids were bringing for lunch, started making 3 gallons of stew, which soon got bumped up to 5 gallons. You know how kids are.....bottomless stomachs on 2 legs. As for bowls/silver- ware, able to buy that cheap enough from people leaving town or just passing thru on their way to Oregon/California. Now schoolbooks were scarce, so many kids brought their own books from home. They might even have to borrow books from a neighbor or a cousin or someone who had graduated from the 8th grade. Didn't have a whole set of books for the class when I started this job and there were few matching books for any grade or subject! Took care of that after the first winter along with adding 200 books for the school library, some that I bought from stores back east, others from people with kids who were passing thru or leaving. And Ben (Franklin) would have been proud of me as I opened the first city library there with a little over 300 books. It was open 24/7 and had a sign on the door: take one and if you can, leave one. Donations welcomed so more books can be bought and pay for lamp oil. I paid for the building of it and never had anyone trash the place.
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Post by willc453 on Aug 24, 2017 8:16:59 GMT -6
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Post by willc453 on Sept 8, 2017 0:29:37 GMT -6
The Affected: Tale of Two Brothers Chapter 40 During my first year in that Colorado town and after settling down as the school teacher, kept busy with other things like keeping the restaurant/saloon/my store in the black, checking supplies for them, etc. and of course, civilizing Big Mac. While Big Mac healed within a month as far as being able to hobble around, afterwards he was my go fer/general handy man after his stint as ticket giver/taker in the restaurant. Just after winter started coming down and school was to start the following week, he was well enough to go to my place to take care of it and the horses. He got a shock when he saw my place as I did it the same way as the school house with the stove/copper piping for a warm floor, but had a large tin bathtub that could be filled with hot and cold water. Didn't know at the time how long I'd be there, so didn't order any glass for windows. Instead, used the afterbirth membrane from some of the elephant people ladies birthing process, but told him they were from buffalo calves which would of worked, but I'd of needed a whole lot more. Of course, this was something he'd never seen or heard of before. Big Mac tried showing his appreciation for me not killing him, fixing his arms and giving him a job. How? He made me a meal. While Big Mac could cook, it was NOT that good. I mean dumping a couple of cans of beans in a pot does NOT construe cooking while also tossing in chunks of meat of unknown origin that MIGHT end up being cooked while in the beans. Thought/told him this was really nice of him, BUT..... When he asked what I thought of it, told him it wasn't bad, but it could do with some improvement and if he was going to do more cooking, his quality had to go up....but at least it was a lot better than that slop that Gordon Ramsey the former cook at the hotel/saloon made. So I started teaching him to cook....more about that later. As to my 6 horses, kept them busy by starting up the first “school bus” or in this case, the first school wagon. Told you about the first winter there and after the 2nd time of a bad storm with over half the kids went missing school, couldn't let that continue. A good basic education is the foundation of all civilized civilizations in my opinion. One of the expressions as a kid, there was being a doctor, lawyer or Indian chief. In those circumstances, you needed a college education, but what about being a plumber, electrician, carpenter, etc.? Usually you get ojt (on the job training) by your dad, some family relative or going to a trade school. As their teacher, I went to EVERY ONE of my kids homes to meet the parents because the parents usually didn't have time to come and see me. Back then, all you had to keep warm was wool, flannel or leather for clothing. So I had the horses measured and had “blanket clothing” made for them to wear during the rest of that first winter. Yeah, this was another new one that got people talking. Having been to everyones home earlier, all I had to do was give the horses a mental image of the homes they were to go to, but also went on 1 trip with them, meeting/ telling each family why we were there. Bought a Conestoga wagon (actually 1 of several) that I had a 2nd covering altered which I used on top of the original covering with blankets between the 2 coverings for added insulation. A VERY small wood stove was put in the back with the exhaust pipe actually going out at the back end of the wagon. The stove made the ride inside the wagon a bit more bearable heat wise, with bricks under the stove and along that wall of the wagon. More than once, I couldn't get the kids back home, but already covered that with the parents. If/when this happened, they kids would be at the school until I could get them back to their homes. No problem getting extra blankets for the kids once word got out and of course, did a lot of cooking with Big Mac helping. Of course the kids thought they'd run amuck between school being out and it was time for supper/bed time. No....they were a bit shocked to find out school hours were now 10 hours long, NOT counting the hour for nooning (lunch break). Deep snow became a problem and I was the first to put a big set of ski's under the wheels of the Conestoga wagon which made the horses a lot happier. Back then, people didn't normally bath every day like advertisements tell you to do today. If the kids spent more than 3 days with me, they took a bath AND clean clothes, which was at first done by a Chinese laundry in town. PAID for a couple of the Chinese ladies to come out to show ALL the kids (boys too) how to wash clothes, with them using tubs I bought. Of course on those days, school was a little shorter time wise as all the kids were wrapped in blankets till their clothes dried. So I kept them amused by telling them “fairy tale/stories” about olden times. Yeah, they were really about some of the places/times I'd been to. The girls loved and would sigh how the handsome, shining knight in armor would save the beautiful princess from the fire breathing dragon and they lived happily ever after. As to the boys....bleah! But they liked how the knight hacked away at the dragon with lots of blood and gory details, while the girls went bleah! Or about King Arthur, Helen of Troy, etc. Since I knew how to play a lot of instruments, taught some how to play a flute for example. Even got some townies & farmers to bring their banjo's/Jews harps/guitars to school and show the kids how to play them. During winter, I required the kids get SIX days a week of schooling because I wanted them to learn as much and quick as possible. Not all the kids could make it because they were needed on the farms several days a week during winter, but I got most of 'em to come. Helped I picked up the kids when needed and of course, fed them along with sending extra food I some how I made too much of. Bought 2 pianos from settlers passing thru on their way to California/Washington/ Oregon that 2nd year. One for our saloon and hired a guy to play it, the other to the local church.....not that I went there much you understand. Took me a week to actually get the pianos in tune which was a pita, but musical quality went up 100%. Had more than one customer actually start playing classical music on the saloon's piano, with more than one customer not only recognizing what was played, but requesting additional scores to be played. From Hollyweird, you'd think the entire west was nothing but a lot of uneducated men. Not true. A lot of people read and thing is, you weren't particular about what you read. A newspaper would be passed around even if it was several years old. Some have asked what kind of books/magazines I had in the library/school library. In my 2nd year, had 3 wagons filled with books and magazines delivered. I simply jumped to New York and London to buy every book & magazine from several book stores. Yeah, the owners of these places were a bit shocked (but VERY happy) in suddenly finding themselves with no stock after my visit. Of course, made sure that I not only got a lot of first editions, but also signed by the authors. These went to my museums and if you're wondering, there are NO e-books. If it ain't on paper or something like it, not interested. Though I've had a lot of books that were only available as e-books printed. The earliest magazine I have is The Gentleman's Magazine which was published in 1731 by Englishman Edward Cave. He's the one who invented the word magazine which comes from the Arabic word makhazin which means storehouse. Those magazines contained everything from essays and poems to stories and political musings. Then in 1842 another Englishman, Herbert Ingram, created the first illustrated magazine called The Illustrated London News which was filled with dozens of woodcut designs and also the first magazine to incorporate photos. As for American stuff, there was the Philadelphia Literary Magazine, Monthly Anthology, Harper's, and The Round Table which was a supplement to Harper's Young People, The Atlantic along with specialized magazines such as American Journal of Science and Scientific American. As for books, there was Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Whuthering Heights, Little Women, Sense and Sensibility, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Persuasion, Crime and Punishment, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Scarlet Letter, Great Expectations, Northanger Abbey, A Tale Of Two Cities, Oliver Twist, A Christmas Carol, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, War and Peace, Madame Bovary, Moby Dick, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & The Looking Glass, Mansfield Park, Treasure Island, The Three Musketeers, The Woman in White, Around The World In Eighty Days, David Copperfield, Faust, The Age Of Reason, Frankenstein, etc. As you might tell, Ben (Franklin) had a good deal of influence on me while I was around him. For the kids, made sure I had 3 copies of each book, while the other books, I got one. Thing is, a couple of the books were considered really “racy” for their time like Madame Bovary and Frankenstein didn't go over too well with a couple of preachers in town. At one point there were 5 churches. Anyway, they said only God had the ability to create life and to say other wise was blasphemous, against the word of God and these and other books like Madame Bovary should be destroyed. Let me just say it didn't happen after one was tarred, feathered and run out of town. Of course, that one was also banging a couple of the city female parishioners so he was lucky he wasn't killed on sight by their husbands. Had the same problem with ignorant people in the 50's on some of the books I had the kids read/made available. As to Madame Bovary, once word got around about it, actually had 27 men pay me in advance for a copy of it. And this was when it took up to 2 months before I'd get them. Yeah, could have had copies available the next day or a week later, but how would I explain this? As to the book, when it was first serialized in La Revue de Paris between October and December 1856, right off the bat the public prosecutors (goody two shooers) attacked the novel for obscenity. It actually went to trial and of course, made the story notorious. The writer, Gustave Flaubert was acquitted, with his book becoming a best seller in 1857 when it was published as a book. Like today, sex sells. As to the story, it's about a doctors wife who has a lot of affairs and lives beyond her means to escape the banalities and emptiness of provincial life. Remember how I said the town was filled with a wide variety of people? All races were there or passing thru, though not many Native Americans. Those that did, ended up coming to my store which ticked off a few store owners because they were basically ripping these people off. Now these people were trading me furs for odds & ends such as knives, axes, etc., you know, things they couldn't make out of iron or steel. This included rifles & ammo. Didn't sell too many of them and word got passed among them they were NOT to be used to make raids against settlers, etc. However all bets were off if some white guy raped one of their women for example. Thing is, most white men didn't consider it rape if they did it with a non-white (black, red or yellow) woman, while others thought they'd teach Native Americans “a lesson” in knowing who their betters were when they came into town. That cr*p ended the spring of my 2nd year there. Little Foot and Owl (12 year old Arapaho's) were set on by 6 men and really roughed up. One of my store clerks found them barely conscious in an alleyway and sent word to me. Brought them to my place (the school) where I did some basic medical treatment on them. Then we went hunting. There were 18 saloons and rightly figured, those 6 would be in them. They were, though not together in one saloon. Got lucky when we came across “Red” (William G. Angus) who was sheriff at the time until he moved to Wyoming to work up there. Explained what happened and he wasn't too happy either, being they were kids. It was during my 3rd year there when he left and I became a lawman for awhile. Had the kids describe the 6 as best as they could and Red thought he knew some of them that he described as “characters of shady moral turpitude”. Rarely worked, mean drunks and more than one steer had gone missing along with some people being robbed on their way to Calif., etc. Back in those days, the sheriff only handled things in town and outside of it you were on your own. Thing is, kids had tried fighting back and even though they lost, they went down fighting, marking some of the men. Which of course, p*ssed them off even more....but made them more identifiable. When we entered the first saloon, the owner started to tell me “they” (Indians) weren't allowed and I should that know that by now. Told him three words: we're hunting bullies and that's when Red told the owner let it be. Of course, as soon as we entered, we were the center of attention and the men there expected some kind of “entertainment”...as in seeing these boys roughed up for even daring to be in the saloon. The boys pointed out 2 of the men and I simply walked up to them, with those 2 expecting me to say something. Actions speak louder than words. I hit one across the throat, kicked the other in the nuts so hard he became known as One Ball Bill. Took their pistols and smashed both sets of their fingers. Explained what happened and we were looking for the other four. Got told where they were at and off we went hunting again, this time with a crowd of men following us. Found another in the 4th saloon, but he had 3 friends who thought they'd teach “this Godd*mn fool school marm a lesson”. It didn't work out that way for them as Red saw to it no guns were drawn by these 4. The bully got his fingers busted, his friends got both arms broken. Found the last 3 in the 8th saloon and at the time there were 19 saloons in town, which were either buildings or just large tents. When the boys pointed them out, I explained to everyone what these 3 and 3 others had done. That I wanted them out on the street so they'd learn the price of beating up children. Thing is, they had SIX friends who said them kids had it coming, coming into town like they were white people. I said fine, more the merrier, but no guns or knives okay? Them: OH YEAH! It ended VERY poorly for them. You see, a lot of people had gotten used to my six horses following me from time to time and the boys being beaten up like they were, had a hard time walking so they rode 2 of the horses until we got to a saloon. I swear, I think we had half of the town surrounding us once word quickly got out on what I had done and of course, going to face 9 men in a fight. Which meant there was a lot of betting going on....with really high odds against me winning this fight against so many at one time. Midget Mike was taking bets and I told him I'd take any and all bets that were against me. Thing is, I had almost $17,000 in bets against me, but Midget Mike (5' 2” tall) and everyone else never had any doubts in my being able to pay off if I lost. We went out into the street and made sure we had a VERY large open area. This is when my six horses started pushing their way into the inner edge of the circle which some people objected to until I said my horses wanted to watch, so let them be. Which everyone thought was funny and let the horses in. I mean, who ever heard of horses wanting to watch people fight? Told those six this was their last chance, but remember, be it on your own head for standing with bullies who beat up kids. Nope, they were all ready to pound on me. I said okay, let's get at it and what the bullies/bullies friends and on lookers didn't expect was when the horses suddenly knocked over a few people and started kicking, biting and stomping on these 9 with me helping. The spectators suddenly did NOT want to be so close to the fight and gave us even more room. It was over in a few minutes. How did the horses come to help me? I gave them mental images before we left that these bullies were like cougars preying on helpless foals. Some people were a bit p*ssed about how I won that fight, but told them there was nothing said about my horses not helping me....that they had to remember the agreement was NINE men against ONE man and that's how the fight went down. I got paid by everyone, though some took a few months to pay me off. Remember back then, your word was all you had. As it was, had more than one working for me to pay off their debt. One of the things I had my store clerks learn was how to barter and a few Indian words as I didn't want to lose any chance of making a profit for my evil, etc. empire you know. One of the 3 store clerks refused to have anything to do with those “dirty heathen red skins, n*ggers/pan faces (Chinese)” so fired him then and there. Didn't fire him because of what he thought of them because that's his right under the 1st amendment. I fired him because I was paying him to clerk and when he refused or made crude remarks, he offended my customers and twice, lost their business before I heard about it. After the fight, took Little Foot & Owl to their camp along with a steer and a wagon loaded with trade goods. The braves came riding up, but didn't do anything once they recognized Little Foot & Owl who were on horses I sold them. These weren't my original 6, but had bought in my first year in town. The boys eventually paid me off in furs, deer & bear meat, though it took them awhile and none of it was poor quality either. Told their people I had come in peace, wanting to be the only one they traded with in town and I'd give value for value. While the women got busy cutting up that steer, I started laying out blankets, then the goods I thought they'd want. Of course, they all wanted to know what happened to the boys, who told them. Got a lot of respect for that and never did have any trouble with them or a couple of other tribes in the area. They weren't real anxious to come into town, so I'd load up a wagon with goods and we'd meet once a month a good 2 days worth of traveling away so the entire tribe could see what I had to offer instead of a couple of individuals coming to my store. Soon other tribes heard about me and ended up making 2 trips a month, though sometimes there'd be nobody there. The meat got cooked in my restaurant, while I sold the fur to people in the past and future. Beaver hats at one time were all the rage for example. The ladies and kids bartered fresh blueberries, raspberries, etc. for stuff they wanted from me. Remember reading how I used a buffalo head & white hide earlier? This time I used a white sheet nailed to a tall tree limb with a scale painted on the sheet. Told everyone this indicated I was open for trading and it would be a fair trade. As to my 6 horses after the fight, they each got a BIG apple once a day for 9 days, which caused me some problems for a bit. Those apple diameter was the length of my hand, while before, they were regular size apples. Now they wanted big ones all the time. Greedy sods. As for saloons, they weren't just some place to get a drink or a meal, but a place to socialize and find out what was happening. Saloons were also known as watering troughs, bughouse, shebang, cantina, grog shop and gin mill among other names. Gambling was common with games as faro, poker, brag, 3 card monte and dice. And yes, my partner and I had those games in our saloon, but they were all honestly run. Those that were dishonest and caught (in other saloons), were usually shot right then and there or run out of town on a rail. It just depended on how many the cheater had cheated. As for me, when I got word something wasn't right about a gambler who won a lot a playing cards, I'd check them out. Many times, they were just lucky/skilled at reading the cards and players but other times..... That's when I'd join the game, telling the others I wanted to go heads up with the gambler. Since I've been around quite awhile, I know ALL the tricks of the trade. I truly enjoyed the look of a gambler who THOUGHT he had a wining hand until it was time to show our cards. How'd I do it? Always insisted that after looking at our cards, they went face down, untouched this way no one could say anyone was palming a card for example from some place other than the deck. Then I'd simply jump a better hand for me. Or when the cards were marked, I simply started calling out the cards that were dealt to me face down, then I'd turn them over. The men who had lost money, got it back while I kept the rest with the now broke gambler being tarred/feathered and ridden out of town. As for dice, that was even easier because once I had them in my loosely closed hand, I'd simply jump my own dice into it. Word got around and we only had 2 gamblers working our place. Of course, they had to pay us to work there which was a new one for everyone. But then, I also worked in Las Vegas for a number of years MUCH later on time wise. Found some men who liked to whittle/ could work with wood, so paid them to make chess and checker sets. Ended up having three 12', 4' wide tables made so everyone could play. Put an extension on the restaurant so everyone could play in more or less peace and quiet. Of course, we took orders for liquor and food and making a few bucks selling sets thru my store. Maybe you understand why Uncle Scrooge has ALWAYS been my favorite character. Remember me telling about liquor and how it was back then? Thing is, a lot of saloon owners would cut good whiskey with turpentine, ammonia, gunpowder or cayenne, some even putting rattlesnake heads in it. Their “custom” product would have names like Tanglefoot, Forty-Rod, Tarantula Juice, Taos Lightning, Red Eye and Coffin Varnish. Then there was Cactus Wine which was made from a mix of tequila and peyote tea and Mule Skinner made with whiskey and blackberry liquor. As to the word “firewater”, whiskey was usually 100% alcohol. The seller would pour a small amount into glass and then set it on fire while the Native American watched. And no, not only did I not sell any liquor to them, I refused to sell it to those I found out that were selling it to them. Some of the saloons in town were First Chance Saloon, Bull's Head, The Arcade Saloon, Buckhorn, The Long Branch, The Birdcage, Desert John's and all were open 24/7, six days a week except Sundays and Christmas. Again, Hollyweird gets it wrong about saloons and hookers. Yes, while some of those ladies did work at the saloon, the majority of them worked in the 6 brothels which were also called barrelhouses. We had 8 ladies working our saloon and none were hookers. Instead, they'd get a patron to buy them a “drink” which was over priced and of course, watered down. They got a percentage for every drink they sold and made even more money by charging men to dance with them. A dance cost 75 cents to one dollar which was A LOT of money back then as in being a days wages for a cowhand as an example. Remember, back then there simply weren't many white women around. And occasionally we'd have services (Sundays only of course) by some itinerant preacher who had a ready made, willing to listen congregation and I made sure his pocket left a little heavier than when he arrived as having been there, done that for a living for a bit. Thing is, I'd some times get a little too enthusiastic and “help” the preacher with some times the “congregation” listening to and responding to me instead of the preacher. For example, I'd tell the “congregation” they were a bunch of heathen sinners and the only way to Heaven was thru the word of God, so listen to the man.....and when the plate is passed around, it should be like the cup that is over flowing with kindness and goodness. Of course, some preachers would try dragging his sermon on and on and on. At which time I said thanks for the good words Holy Joe, Sky Pilot, Good Shepherd, etc. ....THE BAR IS OPEN! Mad rush for the bar then of course. The majority of doors to saloons had regular doors and those that had the swinging style doors, would also have a regular set of doors inside the building. They were also known as batwing doors which we did have to separate the saloon from the restaurant so not to offend the sensibilities of any lady eating in the restaurant.
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Post by willc453 on Sept 8, 2017 0:34:43 GMT -6
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Post by willc453 on Sept 8, 2017 0:35:43 GMT -6
more, including dance hall girl
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