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Post by papaof2 on Jan 5, 2015 14:26:34 GMT -6
Last chapter in the pipeline. Maybe I'll find smething the muse likes while getting groceries today...
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Chapter 172 - Wednesday, 2 June, afternoon
"It looks like you're setting up a classroom, Grandpa. Will you be teaching us regular school stuff while Miss Alice isn't?"
"Yes and no, Abby. We'll work on you and Terry catching up some of the year of school you missed and there are some other things for you to learn."
"Other things?"
"There are some lesson plans in the book your Grandma Betty left you. Your Aunt Mabel said I should start working with you and Terry on one of the subjects. When I see Kate again, I'll ask whether she wants to teach Lexi or have her join the two of you. In either case, we'll start on Monday."
"All day?"
"No, just an hour or two. There is other work here and all of you promised to help Josh."
"What about Mike?"
"He can be part of the 'catching up' lessons, but, as far as I know, he doesn't have the ability. He hasn't dreamed anything before it happened or shown that he can dowse."
"He did plan to watch while I was napping at school just in case he was needed. When I asked about it, he just said he knew there were some kids who weren't very nice."
"That answer might make him just a concerned friend."
"He is a good friend."
"Just a 'friend', Abby?"
"That's all I can say now."
"That's about what I expected you to say. Seeing him blush every time he looked at you and you smiled at him during supper last night tells me there was something more than 'showing him which hen' when you were in the chicken house."
"You have the ability too?"
"One of my grandmothers was a Jackson. I've never been able to 'see' as you, Terry and Lexi do, but I have a 'sixth sense' about danger that has kept me alive a number of times. In this case, I was just commenting on what I saw."
"Mike's been so nice to watch over me when I nap at school and he's carried water for the half bath off that room. I told him I'd hug him for being so nice but gave him a rain check until we got home. He was expecting a hug but I gave him a kiss on the chee... Oops! I wasn't gonna tell that!"
"That's OK, Abby. I understand and you're not in trouble."
"Aunt Kate said I should tell you about things because you'd understand and she was right!"
"I know that you are an unusual person who sees the world differently and responds to it differently, so I take those differences into consideration when you do things - and I kinda like you."
"I know."
~~~
"Mike, when do you and the girls start working with Josh?"
"Tomorrow, Dad. We told him there were some things we had to do to get ready for not being here at our usual time for some of the chores. He said he understood - he has his own chores to work around."
"Is there anything you need to take with you tomorrow?"
"Our weapons and the BOB's, just in case something happens and we get stuck there overnight. We'd each have food for three days, some water, a water filter, a change of clothes and a sleeping bag. The barometer is falling a lot, so we have some kind of storm coming. Josh said there's a storm cellar so we'd have a place to go if the weather turned real bad."
"Good planning, son."
"Abby and Terry helped. Abby reminded me to check the contents of my BOB - there were some things that needed to be replaced - and Terry reminded me to check the barometer."
"You kids work together well."
"Thanks, Dad."
~~~
"Gene, you think the kids are ready for their first paying jobs?"
"Yes, Bill. I was talking with Mike earlier and collectively they've checked BOB's and resupplied as needed. Terry even thought to check the barometer - Mike said it's dropped 'a lot' so we should go check how much 'a lot' is. There is a storm cellar at the machine shop, so they'd be OK if there were some serious storms."
"It's good to know that they apply what we've tried to teach them about being prepared and being responsible for themselves. Neither of us will be around forever."
"Bill, you're probably healthy enough - or should I say stubborn enough - to make another 25 years."
"We can hope."
~~~
"That's not good!"
"How much has it dropped, Bill?"
"About like it did some weeks ago when we had lightning that took out the tree across the road and wind that carried the pieces to the fence on the far side of that field. We had a couple inches of rain and some hail, but the hail was small enough not to do any real damage."
"Anything we need to do outside?"
"Get the 'new' truck in the barn in case there's hail that's big enough to do damage to it. I don't think we could get someone out to replace the windshield. Wish there was some way to protect the things that are up in the garden if there's hail, but there's not much we can do."
"Anyone you need to notify?"
"Need to check with Alice in the morning. I know that Carl usually watches the weather closely and tells his family, but I'd like to ensure that she knows what might be coming. Maybe get a couple of tarps out in case they're needed to keep the rain off the kids on the school bus."
"Is there a storm cellar at the house they're using for the school?"
"There is a storm cellar, Gene, but considering the number of kids, they would need to use both the storm cellar and the root cellar. When we checked the place, the root cellar was dry so it should be OK as a second storm cellar. I'll remind Alice about the root cellar when she's here in the morning and that they need to get all the horses under cover. Probably should put some hay and COB out for her to take in case there's not enough food stored for all the horses - most of them spend the day in the pasture."
"I'll get a bale of hay to the porch and get the kids to help with the COB."
~~~
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Post by 2medicinewoman on Jan 5, 2015 16:00:50 GMT -6
So now I suppose the kids have to survive a storm. They are fast learners and work very well as a team. Quite gifted too beyond their "seeing".. I mean carving, and metal works, and good cooking, animal educations. Really do love this story. It makes my heart happy!
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Post by ydderf on Jan 5, 2015 22:12:31 GMT -6
Thanks for the update. As I sit here reading and eating supper it occurs to me you may be using the wrong muse food as an attractant. Perhaps your muse would respond better to chicken and dumplings or steak and eggs or a good chilli. Just thinking!
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Post by papaof2 on Jan 6, 2015 15:34:00 GMT -6
Kids are usually limited by the adults around them.
I was privileged to work with some gifted kids at a local school some years ago. They wanted to learn programming, so I taught them BASIC (first on the Apple II's, later on PC's). One kid picked up on the concept and did some exploring on her own. One of her parents commented that it took them a long time to find where and how the girl had hidden the funny message that came up during boot. I never mentioned how to do that, so it was all 'independent learning'.
Some of the kids were very mature and responsible. How many adults do you know that have had problems because they didn't properly care for their contact lenses? Have you ever known a fourth grader who had contacts? I had the privilege of meeting one.
Other than the 'ability', kids like those in the story may be rare but they do exist.
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Post by papaof2 on Jan 9, 2015 12:27:26 GMT -6
Chapter 173 - Wednesday, 2 June, evening
"You're lighting a lamp, Grandpa? Is it bedtime already? Did I go to sleep reading? I don't remember eating supper. Did I miss it?"
"Slow down, Abby. Yes, I'm lighting the lamp because it's getting dark. No, it's not bedtime. It's dark because the thick clouds of the storm the barometer predicted are already here. You didn't miss supper. You've been so engrossed in 'Tom Sawyer' that you didn't notice how quickly it got dark. If you feel like helping, I think Terry and Mike want to make pot pies of the remaining chicken and the vegetables from yesterday."
"I can help. Other than rolling out the crust, pot pies are easy."
"I'll do the rolling, Abby."
"Thanks, Mike."
~~~
"Grandpa, is the storm gonna be this loud all night? I don't think I can sleep if it is."
"We no longer have satellite images of the storms, Terry, so there's no way to know for certain how big the storm is or how long it will last. I can make an educated guess, based on the wind speed and..."
"How do you know how fast the wind is blowing?"
" Do you remember the rain gauge on the post by the gate?"
"Un huh. It tells you how much rain there's been - but you gotta empty it after the rain and write it down so you know how much comes down each day."
"Very good, smart girl. There's a wind speed indicator that's part of the rain gauge. I need a flashlight to check it after dark, but I can read it from this window."
"So what's your educated guess?"
"Abby, I'd say that we may have rain, wind, lightning and thunder most of the night - maybe even until noon tomorrow..."
"But how do I sleep when it's so loud?"
"Terry, do you remember where you put the ear plugs you used on the shooting range?"
"On the table by me and Abby's bed."
" Do you think those ear plugs might work for thunder and the hail on the roof?"
"You're smart, Grandpa."
"I know. Some of your smarts rub off on me every time you hug me."
"Grandpa!"
~~~
" Do you think we'll have school tomorrow, Grandpa?"
"I can give you a better answer in the morning, Mike. Although I think it's unlikely that the storm will have blown itself out by then, we'll plan as though you were going. That way you'll be ready to go if the school bus shows up."
"So we gotta do our homework?"
"Yes, Terry. You 'gotta'. You kids finish eating and do the cleanup. I might consider reading two chapters tonight."
"OK!"
~~~
"Everybody brushed and flossed?"
"Me."
"Me too."
"Me three."
" Did you find your ear plugs, Terry?"
"They were where I thought they were."
"Listen up."
"OK."
~~~
"Is the wind stronger, Grandpa?"
"Yes, Abby. When I looked a few minutes ago, it was above 30 miles per hour. Do you understand why we moved everything into the barn or the stable or one of the storage sheds?"
"So it wouldn't blow away or blow into the windows?"
"Very good, smart girl."
~~~
================== ==================
It's me again. The storm is loud and kinda scary. Terry got out earplugs for both of us, but I don't think I'll use them. I want to know what's going on if the weather gets worse.
I'd heard that 'Tom Sawyer' was a good book, but I didn't know how good - I got lost in it tonight. I saw Grandpa lighting the lamp 'cause it was getting dark. I thought it was bedtime and I'd missed supper. Grandpa told me I'd been 'engrossed' (it's spelled right - I looked it up) in 'Tom Sawyer' and didn't notice it getting dark. I guess the book really is good if I can get lost in it!
================== ==================
~~~
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Post by papaof2 on Jan 12, 2015 14:54:24 GMT -6
Chapter 174 - Thursday, 3 June, very early
ROAR!!
"Grandpa, what's that noise? Grandpa? GRANDPA!"
"At your door, Abby."
"Come on in. It's not locked. And I need a hug!"
"Me too!"
"One of you on each side and snuggle in for just a minute."
"What's that noise?"
"I think it might be a tornado. Grab your blanket and Bear and we'll go to the shelter. You two OK if I let go?"
"Un huh."
THUD!!
"What was that?
"I looked out back and the lightning shows there's a tree down, Abby. I think we had a tornado touch down and it took out the tree that has the tire swing."
"Not the swing!"
"There are other trees that we can put a swing in, Abby. I need to get my rain gear and go outside with a good light to check where the tree landed."
"It's safe to go out?"
" Do you still hear the tornado?"
"No. Just the rain - but that's so quiet it's spooky. The tree is close to the bunkhouse. Did it hit it?"
"No, Abby. It's far enough away to not be a hazard and I think it fell in the opposite direction."
"So Mike and Mister Gene are OK?"
"Other than being awakened rather violently when the tree hit the ground, they should be fine. You need to get the things that are on the storm shelter list while I check on the tree and I'll tell Gene and Mike to gather their stuff and come to the shelter."
"It's not over?"
"We don't know if it's over, but we'll be safe in the shelter in any case."
'OK."
~~~
"How much damage, Bill?"
"Not as bad as it might have been, Gene. The tree that had the tire swing is down and about 50 feet of fence is missing. Looks like a tornado may have touched down from the fence to the tree with the swing, but it was brief and far enough away to have done no obvious damage to any of the buildings. Abby and Terry are gathering things for the storm shelter in the basement, so you should do the same - pillow, blanket or sleeping bag, clothes for tomorrow. Get both chore and school clothes for Mike. The list the girls are working from includes the food in the kitchen, so we'll have something we can fix quickly for breakfast. I'm sure the animals are upset, so I'll take Abby out to talk to the horses before we get in the shelter."
"Your shelter is big enough for all of us?"
"It can sleep eight. Don't use the oil lantern. The ventilation in the shelter isn't designed for it. There is alternative lighting."
"I'm beginning to think that you are better prepared than I would have guessed."
"You can compare your guess with the actuality in a few minutes."
~~~
"You brought towels along with your weapons and BOB's, girls?"
"Yes, Grandpa. The BOB's give us another change of clothes in case we need more than what we brought down in the box. The food from the kitchen is on the counter by the little sink."
"Thank you, girls. Those of you who've been outside grab dry clothes and a towel and use the bunk rooms to dry off and change clothes. I think all of my grandkids need something calming, so I brought down the 'Little House' book. You may have one more chapter."
"Thank you!"
"After I read, I'll tuck you in."
~~~
"LED lighting, Bill? I didn't know that you used anything newer than 70 years old."
" Actually, it's OLED lighting with thin film solar panels on the roof and lithium polymer batteries to store the power. The current century has some excellent technology, but I opted to have nothing new visible. If the heat is wood and the usual light is a candle or an oil lamp, I appear no better off than the other survivors."
"Still practicing good op sec, I see."
"Exactly."
~~~
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Post by 2medicinewoman on Jan 12, 2015 18:53:53 GMT -6
Good addition. Thanks for sharing with us once again. Love this story.
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Post by papaof2 on Jan 12, 2015 22:58:18 GMT -6
I've considered putting the story in Kindle format and making it available on Amazon when (if?) it gets finished. One problem - it's too long. Currently at about 163,000 words, it's the length of two novels. There are several options:
1. Cut out minor pieces/events and slim the entire story down to about half its current size. (Which bits are minor?)
2. Make two books out of it. Not sure what the dividing line should be, but that would make manageable pieces from the reader's point of view.
3. Divide it into perhaps four "novellas" of about 40,000 words each. That makes quick reads for those in a hurry.
4. Skip the "traditional" book guidelines and just make it one long book.
No real thought yet given to pricing, although I doubt that I'll be paying car insurance with the income (at most, $0.35 per $1.00 of book price ;-) One big book would likely be priced more than the novellas - which almost always seem to be $0.99. If I went the multi-book route, I would probably do a freebie on the first volume occasionally to try to get more people hooked.
Any proof reader I use will be working on an electronic copy, as it's now 530 pages and growing - postage on a ream of paper makes PDF files very attractive ;-) I currently have five or six copies on various computers and thumb drives, so I shouldn't lose all of them before publication...
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Post by biggkidd on Jan 13, 2015 9:32:46 GMT -6
Good luck which ever route you take. It is a great little story! Personally I prefer long books. Just read expedition by JD Young 2900 some odd pages. He did a teaser a few hundred pages for free and 15 for the whole book PDF. That may be an idea for you.
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Post by papaof2 on Jan 14, 2015 14:17:50 GMT -6
Enjoy - ribs for supper the other night got two chapters, but the pipeline is now empty :-(
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Chapter 175 - Thursday, 3 June, morning
"Rise and shine, sleepyheads."
"But I'm still tired."
"Me too."
"Me three."
"I know; you were awake during the night..."
"The tree fell!"
"It came down, Terry, but with a lot of help from the little tornado..."
"Tornado?"
"Yes, Abby. We talked about the tornado before you came down to the shelter. Were you too sleepy to remember?"
"I remember a little, but it's kinda fuzzy."
"I think all of you were sleepy and scared, so I'm not surprised that you don't remember details. It looks as though we had a small tornado touch down long enough to take out that tree and about 50 feet of fence. There's assorted debris on the ground to be picked up and some pieces caught in the other trees. We only have one big cleanup job - cutting up the tree that's down - and one big repair job - repairing or replacing the damaged sections of fence. Some of the debris is insulation and shingles, so we also need to check on the neighbors to see who might need help. I want you kids to eat and get dressed in your chore clothes. We'll hitch Rose to the wagon and load some supplies and tools in it. Abby, you feel like driving the wagon?"
"Yes, Grandpa."
"The rest of us will go ahead of you on foot."
"Axes and the two-man saws, Bill?"
"Yes, Gene, and be sure to get gloves for everyone..."
"Where are the kids' gloves, Bill?"
"I'll get 'em, Dad."
"Thanks, Mike."
"We may need a pike and other timber handling tools, Gene, and be sure to get an assortment of pry bars, the fence jack and a hydraulic jack. I'll also take the chainsaw, files, bar oil, a spare chain and couple gallons of gas-oil mix. Kids, remember your weapons and BOB's."
"Yes, Grandpa. You're walking because there may be trees down in the road?"
"Yes, Abby. If we're all in the wagon, we'd be getting down to work and back up to go a short distance then getting back down again. If we're walking ahead of the wagon we can also hear better if someone is calling for help."
"Which way?"
"First to the Blacks, Terry. If they're all OK, Ed and George may already be out in a wagon checking on other people down the road from them. Then to Sam Green's. If they're OK, I'll see if Sam can get his big truck started and we'll load up and head toward town. If a tornado touched down there, they'll need lots of help."
"'Cause the houses are so close together?"
"Yes, Terry. My smart girls seem to be in good form today."
"I don't remember there being a tornado here before."
"They're rare, Abby. The terrain usually directs them around us, but we get one every three or four years. I think the last one was four years ago, so you might not remember it."
"You said you'd get Mister Sam's big truck. Why didn't we take your new truck?"
"Several reasons, Mike. His truck is bigger than mine and has seats for more people. It has a blade that he uses for plowing the roads clear of snow in the winter and that blade can also be used to move some of the smaller limbs and other debris off the road. The truck has a winches on the front and back that can be used to move some of the bigger limbs and trees off the road."
"I guess any of those reasons are good enough and all of them together can't be beat."
"That's good, Mike."
~~~
"Hello the house."
"Hello, Bill. They're all working around back."
"Anyone hurt, Mabel?"
"A couple that were pretty badly scared, but no injuries."
"Scared? How?"
"Amanda was scared by the storm, so Sherry got in the lower bunk with her. The storm got very loud - maybe a tornado? - and a limb from the poplar out back came down on the girls' bunk room. It was a good thing that Sherry was cuddled up with Amanda, as the limb came through the roof and landed across the top bunk. Carl's father had built those bunks beds for Ed and George and he built to last - it's all oak and the posts and rails are all 4 by 4's. Carl said that the bed is probably stronger than the house."
"It's good that they had that kind of protection. You need any help with repairs?"
"Carl and the boys got a tarp over it as soon as things got quiet last night. They might need more hands to get the limb free from the house. Carl said something about the chainsaw not starting and they'd have to cut the limb into pieces they could manage by hand."
"We can help with that. My chainsaw is in the wagon and I checked it before we left the house."
~~~
"Bill, Gene. Thanks for giving a hand with the limb. Ed thinks there's plywood in the barn to replace the damaged sheathing and I'm almost certain that we ordered a couple of extra bundles of shingles the last time we did the roof. We could use someone on the belaying ropes while we work on the wet roof."
"Ground work is the easiest part of roofing, Carl. We can do that. Looks like the kids here have done a good job cleaning up the trash that blew into the yard."
"Yes, they're all good workers."
"No, Uncle Carl. We're not workers; we're family."
"I stand corrected, Patricia."
~~~
"Have you heard from anyone else, Carl?"
"Not yet, Bill. I was thinking we should take a wagon down our end of the road and see if anyone there needs help."
"That's what Grandpa said you'd do!"
"We've been neighbors a long time, Terry, so we know each other well. I'm guessing his next step is to check on Sam Green and see if you can get the big truck going so he get to town to check on people there."
"That's exactly what he said."
~~~
"Hello the house."
"Hello, Bill."
"Any damage, Sam?"
"A few small limbs down, but nothing major. I did see some shingles in the debris that looked as though they might be from Carl's roof."
"They may very well be. A limb came through the roof and into the girls' bedroom. The two youngest were cuddled together on the lower bunk and the 4 by 4 frame of the bunk beds caught the limb. Other than being scared, the kids are OK."
"Much damage to the house?"
"Shingles, sheathing, some sheetrock and a patchable hole in the mattress on the upper bunk."
"I have a good mattress wrapped in plastic in the barn. Let me get that over to the Blacks. After that, we can head to town to check on the folks there."
"Mister Sam, are you reading Grandpa's mind?"
"No, Terry. I just know what your Grandpa does when we have bad weather - he checks on other people."
"You have much damage, Bill?"
"Mostly minor, Sam. Sounded like a tornado. I lost about 50 feet of fence and the tree out back with the tire swing in it."
"That close to your buildings?"
"Yes, but there was no obvious damage. We'll give it a closer inspection when we get back."
"Mr. Mason, is Josh OK?"
"Yes, Sherrie. He was out with the other men, repairing the roof ."
"He'll like that."
"Like what, Sherrie?"
"That you said 'with the other men'."
"He has been taking on adult responsibilities. We have much work to be done and few people to do it, so most of you kids will be working as adults by the time you're fourteen."
"I guess you're right - Josh is turning the machine shop into a factory and will have people working for him."
"I don't think there's a better example of taking responsibility than that - producing goods that people need and providing jobs for those willing to work."
~~~
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Post by 2medicinewoman on Jan 14, 2015 16:23:56 GMT -6
Nice clean up scenes from the tornado. I live on the north end of "tornado alley" that starts in northern Texas. Seen too many tornadoes and been through some over the years. Noise, and messes. The thing I like is we never wait til the POTUS call for emergency actions. No FEMA here. We just all jump in as a town and start working to find if people are ok and to begin the clean ups. Wait around for the government to help you, you might as well just move and get a new house. They sure can mess things up quick.
Thanks for the good chapter and for giving us another look into these amazing families.
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Post by papaof2 on Jan 14, 2015 17:10:15 GMT -6
I've never been in a tornado, but have been closer than I wanted to be to the path of a big storm :-( I was in Jackson, MS, a long time ago when a hurricane (Camille?) came across the southern US. I strongly debated whether to sleep on the bed at the motel or under it...
I was in Fort Payne, AL, several years ago about a week after a tornado (maybe a series of them) went through. Just seeing the damage was scary.
We had some 60-70MPH straight-line winds accomanying a late evening thunderstorm a few years ago that took the top 15 feet or so off a poplar tree and dropped it 30-40 feet away across my wife's flower bed and the neighbor's driveway. No damage other than some flowers crushed. That storm also took out the power over a large area, including where my wife was in the checkout line at the grocery store. It took them a while, but they did manage to get enough backup power running to get some of the registers back in service. My chainsaw got a good workout the next day.
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Post by mourningamerica on Jan 18, 2015 20:47:03 GMT -6
I believe you are at a good spot to end for now. The tornado provided a brief but exciting tail on the book(s).
You know that your loyal fans here will buy your book; we'll post five star reviews for it; we'll "talk it up" on other forums, e.g. survivalistboards.com and ARFCOM.
A fair sized novel merits at least 2.99 in my opinion. (Sure, lots of guys charge more; and some go the $0.99 route.) Provide a large "sample". I suggest two books. Sure, you could make the first one cheaper, but if so, make it shorter too!
Only one thing really turns me off: A new writer who puts a good price for PAW fiction, then gets a following in book one, and then jacks the price up to $8-$10 for book 2 or so.
At 2.99, I believe you'd get $1/copy. And, no, that would not make you rich. To me, the most important thing about publishing is you offer your superior fiction to a larger audience. This work deserves a wider following.
I repeat my earlier comment: Your story is unique. There is no "feel good" story like it that I have yet seen. It is more than a "prepper" story. I deem it a valuable instruction manual for raising children. I also view it as a potentially wonderful "first prepper book" for people who don't care about "end of the world". Just advertise it as an updated "Little House on the Prairie". I could give this to people who are not into prepping.
I repeat my earlier warning. Amazon is filled with "Grammar Nazis", who will vilify any book which has notable errors in grammar; spelling; punctuation; etc. Amazon won't help you much with that. Do you know anyone who could assist as a favor?
Best wishes. [Could someone please tell me why there are only three stars above your name. THIS IS FIVE STAR WRITING!]
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Post by kaijafon on Jan 18, 2015 22:33:32 GMT -6
I think the stars have to do with how many posts you have
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Post by papaof2 on Jan 20, 2015 12:17:41 GMT -6
Chapter 176 - Thursday, 3 June, noon
"Grandpa, can we check on Aunt Kate and Uncle Jack and Lexi?"
"Something in a dream or are you just asking, Abby?"
"Just asking. Oh - I guess that means that nothing bad happened to them."
"I think you're probably correct. Since neither you nor Terry had a bad dream about anyone, I took that to mean that no one you knew was hurt."
"Can we check with them after we get back from town?"
"Bill, it's only a bit out of the way, so I'll swing by there first."
"Thank you, Mister Sam."
"You're welcome, Abby. It's hard not to do things for people with good manners."
"Grandpa's always reminding us."
"I think it's working."
"Mister Sam, you're as silly as Grandpa."
"You might be right, Terry."
~~~
"Hello the house!"
"Hi, Dad. I see you brought part of the neighborhood with you."
"We had gone to check on the Blacks, then Sam. We were headed for town when Abby asked about you. Sam said it was a small detour, so here we are."
"Anyone hurt over there?"
"No, Kate. A limb came down on the girls' room at the Blacks, but Sherry was already in the lower bunk with Amanda because Amanda was frightened by the noise of the storm. The limb that came down landed on the upper bunk."
"I remember being at their house and watching four or five kids chinning themselves on the rails of the upper bunk at the same time. I'm sure it stopped whatever came down."
"It did. Carl's father built things to last."
"Any of you had lunch yet? Lexi and I made a big pot of stew..."
"Lexi's getting to cook, too?"
"Yes, Terry. Just like when we were at Grandpa's house. I really miss having y'all to play with."
"We miss you, too."
"Lexi, call your Daddy in from the cleanup he's doing out back. Everyone else wash up and grab a plate."
"Yes, Mommy."
"Thanks, Kate. We'll have to eat and run, as we want to check the damage in town."
"That's what I thought you'd do. I just wanted to ensure that you ate before you tackled another big project."
" Daughter, you're beginning to sound like your mother."
"That's a good thing where you're concerned, Dad."
~~~
"You have much damage, Jack?"
"No, Sam. Mostly small limbs and the like. Lexi's been helping me with the cleanup, in between sessions spent learning how to make her grandmother Sandra's beef stew."
"I thought that smell was familiar."
"It should be, Dad. I was helping Mom make that stew when I was about Lexi's age."
"Nice to know that some family traditions live on."
"Grab a plate and see how well your newest granddaughter did perpetuating that tradition."
~~~
"Well, Grandpa?"
"I think I'll keep you as a granddaughter, Lexi."
"You're being silly again, Grandpa."
"No, just giving my granddaughter a compliment. You did a good job on the stew."
~~~
"Mister Sam, does your truck work just like Grandpa's?"
"It also uses a wood gas generator, Abby, but it's an older design."
"Show me how to do it?"
"Of course. We'll get it ready while the others finish their dessert."
~~~
"Kids, time to load up."
"Yes, Mister Sam."
"Thank you for lunch, Aunt Kate."
"You're welcome, Mike."
" Do we go back to Mister Sam's and then to town?"
"No, Terry. There's another road about a quarter mile up that will take us to the road to town without doing any backtracking."
" Do you have a map I can look at, Grandpa?"
"Yes. There are several at the house. I'll show you where when we get back."
"There's a log in the road!"
"No, Terry, that's one of the shared use power and telephone poles."
"Is there any 'lectricity on it?"
"Not yet. We should get the pole out of the road and make note of where it is so a crew can set a new pole and repair the lines."
"I have a pencil and paper."
"Thank you, Abby. Just note that it's pole S87 on County 139."
" Done. Will there be more poles down?"
"That depends on the path the storm took and how many times a tornado touched down or wind blew a tree into the lines."
"Then it might take longer before we get 'lectricity?"
"Very good, smart girl. As long as it takes to find replacement poles and make repairs - assuming enough poles and wire are available."
"There might not be enough?"
"That depends on where the damage is and how bad it is. We've seen one pole down in about five miles of road. Just remember that houses and poles are much closer together in town, so a tornado that touched down there would have more targets."
"Then it might take longer for them to get power?"
"Yes, smart girl."
~~~
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Post by papaof2 on Feb 2, 2015 17:02:01 GMT -6
I got feedback today from a 50-something non-prepper that had asked to read the story when she learned I was writing.
Her comments were:
1. too technical
2. didn't flow well
I didn't think there was much technical detail, but my degree is Information Systems and I've built the last 3 or 4 desktop PC's I've used - and I sometimes have a 4G-based wi-fi router in my shirt pocket - so I'm probably a geek/nerd/<whatever> to some people.
I'm aware that the day-by-day format involving multiple people and places could require more mental effort to keep people and events together than something that stayed with a group for a chapter, then moved to another group for their experiences during the same time period - but I never liked the rehash of events that format produces (although it does make the book longer). On the other hand, life comes at us from many directions: news reports of disasers, phone calls from across the country about almost anything, Facebook/Twitter updates for those who visit there.
Along the way, my person with a degree in education was in "working with a student" mode and rewrote a chapter instead of just commenting on it. If the story wasn't so big (about 550 pages in Word) I'd pass along a paper copy and a red pencil ;-)
Another resource with a degree wasn't interested in reading it, so I'm looking for others I know who will review it.
Your feelings/comments?
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Post by kaijafon on Feb 2, 2015 18:48:46 GMT -6
not too technical I've come to love the format I have no problem with any of the "flow" just give us MOAR!!!
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wren
New Member
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Post by wren on Feb 2, 2015 19:40:11 GMT -6
I'm a 50-something former teacher. I agree with everything kaijafon said whole heartedly! Don't let them chase your muse away. MOAR, please!!!
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Post by ydderf on Feb 2, 2015 20:37:59 GMT -6
I hope your 50 something non-prepper is not a relative of yours. I agree with Kaijafon your story is not too technical nor jerky. I have enjoyed your style of writing. If you would like I can suggest a name for the critic (jealous twit) and you can feel free to pass it along with my email address attached.
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Post by papaof2 on Feb 3, 2015 0:32:41 GMT -6
I have ideas for the next week or so of the family's life, just having difficulty getting the next segment started and only one fleshed-out segment to follow after that :-(
In the past, I've had several days' worth of outlines, but not now. I have been trying various things to encourage my muse, but little seems to be working (not even the grilled pork loin and Brunswick stew at Sunday's Super Bowl party with the handbell group my wife is in). There are a few football fans among the ding-a-lings and their spouses, but probably 70% of the group is there for the food ;-) I think we brought back one serving of the sweet potato casserole we took.
I won't leave the story unfinished - there's an epilog that gives details of who wrote the story and what else that person might be interested in writing. It would close out this story and allow for picking up the tale at another time.
I have gotten some other things accomplished - a used lawnmower engine checked out and a mounting plate for it and a GM alternator to build a 12 volt DC source. There are wheels (from an old mower) and a decent 12 volt battery (Freecycle). Just need for the days to warm up enough to get outside and make some sawdust to build the mounting box for it. The design is from theepicenter.com and is one of the power sources in the " Deep Winter" series.
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Post by crf78112 on Feb 3, 2015 1:24:29 GMT -6
I got feedback today from a 50-something non-prepper that had asked to read the story when she learned I was writing. Her comments were: 1. too technical 2. didn't flow well I didn't think there was much technical detail, but my degree is Information Systems and I've built the last 3 or 4 desktop PC's I've used - and I sometimes have a 4G-based wi-fi router in my shirt pocket - so I'm probably a geek/nerd/<whatever> to some people. I'm aware that the day-by-day format involving multiple people and places could require more mental effort to keep people and events together than something that stayed with a group for a chapter, then moved to another group for their experiences during the same time period - but I never liked the rehash of events that format produces (although it does make the book longer). On the other hand, life comes at us from many directions: news reports of disasers, phone calls from across the country about almost anything, Facebook/Twitter updates for those who visit there. Along the way, my person with a degree in education was in "working with a student" mode and rewrote a chapter instead of just commenting on it. If the story wasn't so big (about 550 pages in Word) I'd pass along a paper copy and a red pencil ;-) Another resource with a degree wasn't interested in reading it, so I'm looking for others I know who will review it. Your feelings/comments? Possibly for a different audience (non-preppers, non-homesteaders or city slickers) some of which you speak might be "too technical". I think the story flows quite well. Possibly the person involved is: 1. overly impressed with their degree, 2. unable to appreciate the genre 3. a bit jealous that you actually put your original thoughts to "paper" and have an eager audience. Please continue, us folks need MOAR!
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mort
New Member
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Post by mort on Feb 3, 2015 15:54:17 GMT -6
Papaof2 -- I've been lurking here, but this encouraged me to actually register. I don't know about the non-prepper who reviewed your work, but I like the way it's written. Granted, I probably suffer from the same kind of myopia that you do, being technically oriented.
The other thing that may be at work here is that I've read the entire story in installments, so I really have no idea of the "flow." I might have the same criticism if I were to read the thing all at one go.
I'm not a writer, but all of my successful (as in getting writing done) writer friends are consistent in saying one thing: develop a discipline of writing each day. doesn't matter if the writing is good or if it's terrible, put some words on paper each day. You can go back and fix it later.
Personally, I think you have a talent for relating a story in a believable way, a way that makes me feel engaged with your characters. Please continue writing whether you share it with us or not.
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mommasue
New Member
Only slightly strange .
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Post by mommasue on Feb 3, 2015 17:46:45 GMT -6
As for being to technical, I read it to an 8 year old and she has very few questions.
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Post by papaof2 on Feb 3, 2015 19:29:20 GMT -6
As for being to technical, I read it to an 8 year old and she has very few questions. That might be the greatest compliment my writing will ever receive. Thank you.
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Post by millwright on Feb 3, 2015 20:50:19 GMT -6
I just did a big catch-up. Wonderful story, thank you. You are getting close to a break point, somewhere around here might be time to start the other half of this tale.
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