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Post by millwright on Jul 16, 2014 20:58:29 GMT -6
So there I was working on a radio tower at high altitude in the Rockies and ZAP! I dunno what happened, but it gave me the equivalent of a tequila and speed head-ache. It took all I could do to load my tools and make the hour and a half crawl down the mountain road, 4 wheel drive, two hands, white knuckles, hanging by my toenails the whole way. JEEEEZ this gave me flashbacks of rolling on ALERTS in Germany at 3am, after drinking in the Gasthaus till 2:30.
As I got to lower altitudes and my brain was getting a little more O2, then things got really odd. There was no lightning strike on the tower, the radios were not damaged, I had not smelled ozone after the event....had a really overwhelming case of WTF-OVER?? My first coherent thoughts were EMP, the balloon has gone up and we are getting ready to go all Mad Max. Then I see lights, porch lights, street lights, headlights and all manner of grid supported activity in the valley below. Scratch the EMP.
My truck had developed a very slight stumble a few days before, not bad enough to really look for, but enough to put on the to-do list on troubleshooting. When I hit the flat road at the bottom of the mountain access, I was able to reach down and start straightening out the inverter, ham radio and other accessories that had fallen off the console while doing the "mountain-goat" down to the flat lands. When I touched the positive lug on the inverter, I saw/felt/was an ignition leak at the #1 spark plug, the wire had been knocked loose by a stick that had flipped up on another crappy road to a jobsite. It was like being one with the machine, had I just been plugged into the Chevy "Matrix"? As soon as my hand moved off the wire, everything was normal. NO way in hell was I going to touch that wire for a repeat, this was a fluke and that's it....period.
At that point, it was time to get out of the truck for some fresh air and maybe blow chunks. At the first empty parking lot with a street light, I whipped in and parked. After crawling out of the truck and leaning my head on the metal light pole, the light dimmed out and I was in the dark. Dark? no problem, being one with the light and knowing that the photocell was failing on the "powered up" side of the switch......HUGE FREAKIN' PROBLEM!!
OK...This $#it ain't funny anymore.
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Post by kaijafon on Jul 16, 2014 21:22:41 GMT -6
yay! another story to love!
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Post by millwright on Jul 16, 2014 21:36:13 GMT -6
Be advised, this is my first attempt at throwing thoughts at a keyboard and seeing what sticks.
It will be slow with bad punctuation and poor grammar, iffy character and plot development.
An amateur effort at best.
ETA: It's Bitsmith's fault, he has been slow in giving us moar.
I felt compelled to fill the gaps.
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Post by millwright on Jul 17, 2014 15:10:27 GMT -6
I crawled out of bed the next morning feeling like I had been beat, looked out the window for my truck wondering if it was possessed and had left on its own mission in the middle of the night. OK, still in the driveway and the lights aren't flashing at me because its reading my mind.
Maybe everything that happened the day before was a figment of my imagination? I had made it a couple of hours without any small appliances getting in my head. Lord knows I didn't want a Vulcan mind meld with my microwave, it was old and tired with a light out, broken turn-table drive gear and the 9, 6 & 3 buttons were shot. If there was a candidate for thinking like a broken machine it would be my microwave.
Time for a look at the days problem children, hmmmm a sick generator two counties over. Maybe a remote re-boot of the controller will save me a ride. A quick log in to it and no alarms now, strange? A morning ride it is, the #1 plug boot on my truck got a quick shove and twist before I started it. Once it was running there was no more stumble, good guessing on my part.....yeah that's it. On a whim I even touched the hot wire to the inverter, nothing weird there. (Shrug) who knows what all that was yesterday.
The problem generator had taken too many attempts to start during a power outage yesterday. This all took place about the same time that I felt zapped on the mountain. Today it started fairly well, but I wasn't completely happy with it. While it was running, I went to open the control cabinet door and as soon as I touched the bare metal latch, BAM, there I was seeing right into the motor and feeling that the fuel pump was getting weak after sitting dry between bi-weekly exercises. There was a loose wire on the control terminal strip that slipped into my perception too. Crap! what is this, I feel like a Dr. Doolittle of machines, I kicked the generator and told it to stay the hell out of my head.
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Post by biggkidd on Jul 17, 2014 15:51:58 GMT -6
Oh man this guy is right up my alley if only I could have his powers. Good job.
Larry
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Post by kaijafon on Jul 17, 2014 17:57:48 GMT -6
mind meld with a microwave -priceless!!! i can see it now! thank you!!!
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Post by millwright on Jul 17, 2014 20:42:49 GMT -6
A trip to the John Deer house for a fuel pump and get this one off my plate, no need to stretch it out until I could get back that way. On the ride to town I started thinking about my newfound "condition". I guess there is no reason to bitch, it just enhances what I already do. Maybe I should ride the wave and try to use it to my advantage?
At the John Deer house I made a lap through the shop to see what the guys are up to. They have saved my bacon a few times with just a phone call from a remote site. I try to visit with them whenever possible and bring beer at closing time on Friday two or three times a year. The lead mechanic was scratching his head and staring at a tractor in the bay, tools & test equipment were scattered all around. Come to think of it, this machine was there earlier last week...highly unusual. "DUDE!! do we need to put a mailbox on this tractor for you?? Gonna get your retirement check here??" ROFL (Ducking the nasty greasy rag that was chunked at my head)
"So whats the problem with this green beast?"
"Awww, it gets a stumble and belch occasionally when you throttle it up"
"Ok, start this pig & let me hear it", I put my hand on the painted shroud....nothing. Then I snapped, it always hit me when I touched bare metal. I grabbed a fitting on the injector pump that had the paint knocked of from bleeding the lines. BAM! there it was, I could feel a piece of casting slag in the oil gallery to a lifter. Rev up the motor and the increased oil flow would run it into the side of the lifter and hold the intake valve open 1 or 2 thousandths, instant compression belch out the intake.
At that point, I had to make a show of it. Took a big screwdriver and stuck it to the side of the block and put my ear on it, revved the motor a few times and made ugly faces. Killed the motor and ran around the other side to listen there. Pulled the dipstick and tasted the oil. Finally I started sniffing the exhaust stack. After getting a cup of coffee and walking around it for a few minutes I told him, "Pull the head and lifters one at a time. Blow air in the oil passages from the filter as you pull each one and trap what comes out in a rag, the lifter with scars on the side is your problem tho."
I turned and headed to the parts counter to grab my fuel pump and scoot, he was looking at me like I was bat-shit crazy.
At the door I hollered, "If I'm right, you buy my beer..."
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Post by nancy1340 on Jul 18, 2014 0:31:25 GMT -6
Good start. Thanks
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Post by millwright on Jul 18, 2014 8:45:42 GMT -6
The weeks came and went and I slowly improved my understanding of this new ability. News stories of "The Changed" came out and tapered off, then it hit me one day. I was at high altitude the day of that event and had some exposure to whatever caused the Change. GO figure?
Capitalizing on my ability without tipping my hand was a bit of a problem. I wanted NOBODY to have a clue but needed to take advantage of it for a large increase in income. My ability seemed to be totally passive with no way to alter things I "saw" in machines and I had to be in contact with the machine to see inside. Being an onsite troubleshooting guru is great and all that, but the pay wasn't commiserate with my ability.
Word did slowly spread that I was a top shelf troubleshooter and referrals trickled in. My show up fee increased with the cost of down time of the equipment. I also had to purchase some test equipment to provide the smoke-n-mirrors to cover what I was really doing. Setting up vibration analysis, sonic monitoring or oscilloscope gear made for a dog & pony show even though I knew what the problem was within minutes. When all the engineers from a production facility wanted to get in my business, the price went up exponentially. Occasionally when they gave me too much grief, I would play dumb, roll up my toys and let them figure it out. All things being considered, it was turning into a lucrative and low stress job. It allowed me to travel the back roads, come and go at will, not much overhead, little paperwork, didn't get too dirty too often and the money was getting crazy good.
One day I was heading back home from a job, trying to stay ahead of the leading edge of a lightning spitting storm and another event happened. My life got altered drastically again.
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Post by kaijafon on Jul 18, 2014 12:21:08 GMT -6
oh noes! hope it changes for good reasons! thanks
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Post by millwright on Jul 18, 2014 13:09:41 GMT -6
So I was looking at the sights more so than watching the road, hoping to spot that Dodge Superbird or other ultra-rare something in a pasture. As I topped a little hill there is a pickup on the shoulder with the hood up and someone leaning over the motor. When I get next to the truck, I see a pair of jeans that are everything God intended when he inspired Levi Strauss to make blue jeans. I stopped and waited for this gal to stand up and turn around, after a minute or so with no response it said to her back, "M'am you sure picked a poor place to perform some vehicle maintenance". She whipped around with fire in her eyes and a major case of pisstivity going on. My smart-ass comment didn't help, but it sure was fun. Laying it on thick I asked "Did ya run out of diesel?". She couldn't contain it any longer, "If I was out of diesel do you think I would have the hood up....do you fill up under the hood?.......JEEEEZ. Here I am on the side of the road with a lighning storm coming and fate sends me a moron that doesn't know where the gas cap is on a truck".
All this coming from a stunningly attractive gal with the girl next-door looks and the Meg Ryan smile. Maybe I should turn it down a tad bit. "Well if you ran out of diesel and poured your emergency jug in, you would have to open the hood and bleed the air out at the manual pump thingee on the filter housing." All I got from that was a HMMMPH. Since my charming ways were getting me nowhere I figured it was time to be of use. All my powers of concentration were needed just to walk over to her truck without tripping over my own feet, everything about this girl was a major distraction. GOOD GAWD....I'm toast, and I know it, and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I hope she doesn't have the slightest clue about her effect on me.
"So tell me m'am, what seems to be the problem with your mule here? We have decided that it doesn't need to be fed. It isn't afraid of lightning or it would be headed to the barn at a full gallop about now, as would anything with good sense". The front line of this storm was coming across the fields and we had about 10 minutes before it hit. She had been down to a solar well in a cow pasture to check on it, coming out of 4wd at the gate the truck just quit going. I had her start the truck real quick and put a finger on a battery terminal, BAM there it was, I could "see" that a wire was pulled loose on the servo that engages the 4wd. It was stuck between positions. I could have fixed it in about 2 minutes, but sitting with her while this storm blew through was a much more appealing option.
A cool wind started bowing the scrub oaks on the fence lines and huge raindrops were hitting the windshield, time to wait it out. "You care to jump in my truck and wait this out? I need to check the radar and have a bite of lunch, you are quite welcome to join me". "Well, my passenger seat is full of ranch stuff and generally don't get into trucks with strangers, if you aren't a perv, a bottle of water would be awesome". She said this with enough of an evil grin that I knew she was fully capable of taking care of herself. I opened the door and let her in just as the bottom fell out of the sky, six more steps around to my door and I was soaked. Jumping in and toweling off a bit, I grabbed waters and a container of fresh snapper & shrimp ceviche out of my little ice chest and put it on the console between us with some crackers. She looked at it warily and asked what it was, "Ceviche, sort of a seafood salad". "I know what it is, just surprised to find it out here in the wheat fields and cow pastures 500 miles from salt water". I just shrugged & fired op the computer to see the radar. When it woke up and the radar was loading she saw one of my "favorites" tabs that was for the preparedness forum where I usually got most of my social interaction, along with gobs of good info. She pointed and asked what that site was, I explained "It's a forum where quite a few people meet and discuss world events". She gave me the mean-eye and asked "Are you one of those government hating, survivalist, militia whackos?". OH JEEZ....I choked and coughed and almost had crackers coming out my nose. After composing myself and getting the shocked look off my face, I explained that it was just good practice to be aware and prepare for some basic problems. "OHHHH I SEE, Can I look at that right wing extremist site please?". Well crap, all I could do was load the page and let her poke around, I went immediately to the garden an canning section, hoping maybe she would think that was neat stuff.
She just made herself at home and started looking around the site and then logged me out.....WTF-OVER. After that she instructed me to look the other way for a minute. When I looked back the screen to the site was different than I had ever seen it before. Looking closer at what she was doing....She was writing me an infraction for being rude to a moderator. I must have looked like I had been hit between the eyes with a stupid stick. She busted out laughing and told me "I know you have a cold Modelo and a lime in that ice-chest, it's pretty rude of you to serve ceviche without offering a cold beer, by the way, I'm Modgirl, you know, the one you always stir $#it with"
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Post by millwright on Jul 18, 2014 13:18:55 GMT -6
oh noes! hope it changes for good reasons! thanks eets just vats vee needs to keeps interest. working on my Helga-nese...
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Post by kaijafon on Jul 18, 2014 17:51:57 GMT -6
OH MY!!!! I LOVE that chapter!!!! hahahahaha!!!!!
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Post by millwright on Jul 20, 2014 18:48:34 GMT -6
I was sitting there with my mouth going and nothing coming out, looked like the goldfish on the kitchen floor. Had an avalanche of things running through my brain and couldn't process any of them. Speechless, defenseless and just generally gear-locked with no relief in sight and this woman was getting HUGE enjoyment out of my condition. There was even a thought as to giving her my truck and walking home, without saying a word.
Finally, I was able to sputter, "I'm Manic Mechanic...nice to meet you".
Understand that I looked forward to a good verbal spar with this person and there was always an even chance that I wouldn't come out ahead. She has a wicked sharp wit and an utter mastery of sarcasm. All this coupled with being exceptionally knowledgeable about many things AND now I see that she is smokin' hot.
AAAAYUP I'm Toast.
It had quit raining by then so I was saved by jumping out to fix her truck. The throw down tarp came out of my toolbox, I slid under to repair the wires and collect my wits a little. The fix took about 45 seconds, I milked it for about 5 minutes of mental recovery time. After a quick start & put it in gear test I told her "You are good to go now and it really has been an absolute pleasure to finally meet you in real life".
After not saying a word for some time she got in her truck, and started digging around in the glove box. She came up with a business card that was for one of the large cattle operations in the area and it had her title as "Operations Manager". "What's your schedule for Saturday afternoon?", it almost wasn't a question...more of a demand kinda-sorta. I had the snap to at least act like I was thinking about it before I said it was open....barring emergency calls.
She just stated, "I owe you for this, dinner at the ranch-house about 4:00...bring a nice Shiraz", gave me a smile and took off down the now muddy road.
I stood next to my truck, still slack-jawed watching her make the turn at the next mile section.
All my newfound mechanical abilities weren't going to help me with this.
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Post by nancy1340 on Jul 21, 2014 18:43:28 GMT -6
OH MY!!!! I LOVE that chapter!!!! hahahahaha!!!!! Yeah, you love it because that is something you'd do. ;-)
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Post by kaijafon on Jul 21, 2014 19:57:38 GMT -6
LOL! maybe......
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Post by millwright on Aug 7, 2014 20:39:48 GMT -6
The rest of the week crawled by and it took all my powers of concentration to "be one with the machine". Modgirl was occupying more of my processing capacity than I should allow and world events were getting even more unstable. Business was getting close to maxing out my available time.
The precious little time spent on the forum really didn't allow me to interact with her on a fun basis, she did weasel a little information about my prep status in passing though. When it comes to her, part of me feels like a trash-dog, I know I'm gonna get beat for going there...bbbut I just can't help myself. I did try to read her posts as far back as possible to gain a little personal insight, that yielded nothing other than, she is a sharp girl.
Friday I was on a jobsite near the Army base, on the way home I passed a small convoy sidelined almost to a rest stop. One of the heavy equipment transporters (HET) was dead in the ramp going to the rest area. I was pulling around them in the grass when a GI stopped me.
He approached with a sheepish smile, "'Excuse me sir, we are having a little mechanical trouble and SOMEbody left their toolbox on post (looking at his buddy), is there a chance that we might borrow a couple of wrenches?" I guess having several tool boxes on my truck made me a target.
I told him, "Maybe, I will need a hand receipt for each tool, the last PMCS (maintenance log) on your vehicle and your logbook releasing you from the motor pool".
He was speechless for a moment then said "WTF-Over! you sound like my motor Sargent".
When I quit laughing, I told him that I was one a few years ago and it was just too easy to pimp him on this one. By then, the whole squad had walked up and they were all howling at his expense too.
"So tell me Specialist, what are you fine young troops planning to fix on this truck?"
"Well sir, the fuel pump seemed a little weak, we changed filters and it ran fine but threw a spare pump in just" in case".
"OK, you need a 9/16 socket, 6" extension, 11/16 & 3/4 line wrenches and crescent to back up the fittings".
The poor boy was big eyed again, "I guess you do know your shit!".
While they were changing the pump, I leaned on the HET to "see" what was wrong with it for sure.
When they were about done, it was time to have a little fun, "You are going to make it to the top of the next hill and this truck will die again, there is some plastic in the tank that's clogging the pick-up tube. I'd suggest you clear the ramp and fix it in the rest area closer to the drink machine and latrine...by the way, why are you hauling a Viet-nam era Vulcan that has been discontinued for almost 20 years?"
They all looked at each other and got quiet, more looks, then finally the SSG in charge told me "I can't tell you that this track has all old school electronics, fairly EMP proof......or that we are 1 of a whole battery (company)headed to south Texas".
I said "Well sarge, ya'll have a safe training exercise, knowing that there were no training areas in south Texas, and I hope to see you back in a month",handed him a card with my e-mail and phone number.
"When you get back, the whole squad is welcome at my place for Thanksgiving dinner and a little range time out behind the barn".
He winked and whispered, "I'll give you a heads up if the party is gonna start early, if I ask for a set of wrenches...button down the hatches".
WELL!!!!! Time to reconsider my plans.
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Post by kaijafon on Aug 8, 2014 16:05:26 GMT -6
oh wow! what a twist! but it must be nice to make "Friends" so quick and easy! LOL! thank you!!
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Post by biggkidd on Aug 8, 2014 17:13:26 GMT -6
Good Twist Larry
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Post by millwright on Aug 8, 2014 22:11:32 GMT -6
Its a super secret brotherhood...Fraternal Order of the Greasy Wrench. I am taking a HUGE chance by just putting the name in print.
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Post by millwright on Aug 9, 2014 10:40:27 GMT -6
oh wow! what a twist! but it must be nice to make "Friends" so quick and easy! LOL! thank you!! Blind luck, chance meetings and right place-right time do happen frequently. When you have something in common with the other party, the chances increase.
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Post by kaijafon on Aug 9, 2014 11:51:07 GMT -6
Oh I agree especially since I know there are groups of people/organizations that have that "fellow feeling" with other members whom they have not even met.... the military is similar, those who have served usually have that "we are brothers" mentality.
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Post by kareninks on Sept 14, 2014 0:35:32 GMT -6
Please Millwright, continue this story. It is getting good.
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Post by millwright on Sept 17, 2014 16:06:54 GMT -6
I haven't forgotten about this story, been crazy busy and world events are kinda captivating right now. Not even keeping up with the other stories.
Every time I sit down to add to it....nothing coherent falls out of my head.
Will be slowing down in a coupla weeks.
Thanks for the support from everybody.
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Post by millwright on Sept 27, 2014 20:32:58 GMT -6
Friday ran me through the John Deere shop for generator parts and a pass by their employee appreciation lunch. The owner is a good guy and springs for a catered fajita lunch every 2-3 weeks. He also buys an extra 2 guns on his deer lease for a coupla employees that hunt... they aren't "dues paying members", but get all the advantages of such.
I asked the shop manager about his problem child tractor and if it was the lifters....with a $#it-eatin' grin. He just hung his head and asked "how much beer of what type?"
"WELLLLLLLL!!!! lets do it this way, IF you can send the bosses wife to the liquor store and get me 6 bottles of really nice Shiraz by quitting time, we will be square. I knew that the owners wife was a very good judge of wine, I had even hunted with the owner and family.
It was great fun to make him go beg for a favor tho.
He groaned and headed for the office, I caught her attention thru the window, winked and laughed and pointed at the shop manager headed her way. It all worked out well, she went and bought wine. When I stopped by at quitting time, she had to nosy-rosy into my odd request.
When I explained that I had done some work for the big cattle operation outside of town and got invited to their Saturday dinner, she told me that they were good customers and really great to work with, as they owned many pieces of equipment and weren't afraid to take care of it.
As I grabbed the wine from her suburban to throw in my truck she gave me an evil grin and warned me, "watch that operations manager...she is hell on wheels".
Somehow, I knew I'd been had...no proof but gut instinct. The sisterhood of local business-women were plotting my downfall.
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